How do you handle MIL

[manning]

I expect a big fight. I bought her a Xmas gift two years back and because she didn't use it refused to buy her anymore gifts. She was mad and will be again this year.

 

[mdsoccermom]

What was it you bought her 2 years ago that she didn't use that has you so up in arms?

 

[olwyngdh]

When you give someone a gift, it is theirs to use, not use, or give away. I can see why you would be hurt that she didn't use something that you gave her, but in this case, I think it is you who is wrong, not her.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

Did she not use your gift maliciously or did she just not like it? Sometimes, you just MISS with Christmas gifts, and it isn't anything personal if someone doesn't want a particular gift.

Have you considered getting her something you know she will like? You could ask her what she wants.

 

[Holly]

I expect a big fight. I bought her a Xmas gift two years back and because she didn't use it refused to buy her anymore gifts. She was mad and will be again this year.

That sounds really unreasonable on your part.


If you expect a big fight you might want to take it upon yourself to be the bigger person and avoid it. Good luck.

 

[kathie859]

My now-deceased IL's were like this! It didn't matter WHAT I bought (or what their DS bought, for that matter) it wasn't used. HOWEVER, for my own peace of mind, I always brought sometime to them at Christmas--think a Christmas arrangement, a holiday cake, box of chocolates, gift card to their grocery of choice. It made ME feel better

Some people just can't be pleased--I wouldn't obsess over it but I'd do a token "something" so they know they weren't being ignored.

 

[Angelhalo]

Why create unnecessary drama? Just give her a gift and move on with life.

 

[hereyago]

Um, why not have your DH buy the gift for his DM?

 

[Liberty Belle]

I have a feeling it's the same thing DH bought my mother. She didn't use it, either.

 

[snowywhite89]

I expect a big fight. I bought her a Xmas gift two years back and because she didn't use it refused to buy her anymore gifts. She was mad and will be again this year.

How childish. Buy her a gift.

Congrats you beat out the "not making the MIL her favorite cookie" OP and won the most spiteful behavior.

 

[LuvLDM]

You are being silly.
Have your Dh buy her something and be done w/ it.

 

[IluvKingLouis]

Please don't hold a grudge. I lost my MIL in 1998 and she was such a nice lady. I wish I had done more to show my appreciation.

My FIL, who is a little strange, sent me a bathroom scale for a Xmas gift. Yes, I'm a few pounds overweight, and it was a high end scale....one that gives you your body fat percentage, etc. I decided to blow it off...after all, he is family.

 

[Magic Mom]

I bought MIL one of those massaging foot baths one year...not only did she not use it, she never said thank you. Then we bought her huge precious stone earrings. (She like BIG earrings) she wore them once...they weren't big enough....she told me that when she was telling me what pieces of her jewelry "collection" DD and I couldn't have when she passed one day because her daughter and other granddaughters had already claimed them.( We do get the big unused earrings though.)

I'm not sure if she has ever liked a gift from me/us...well, I take that back I bought her a nesting wine table one year. She loves that, but she thinks my SIL bought it. Now she gets a gift certificate to a restaurant every year because I know she likes to eat.

 

[MIGrandma]

Wow, I kind of feel sorry for your MIL.

A few gifts we gave DH's Mom ended up in her yard sales. It hurt a little that she didn't like the gifts, but it never stopped us from getting her a gift the next year. Sometimes you give people things they really love, sometimes not. You don't stop giving though.

 

[GinnyEmma]

So because you made a poor gift choice she is penalized? That is pretty sad.

 

[msjprincess]

You can't be serious?

 

[DisneyBeagle]

We need to know what the gift was! If it was something that she indicated that she really wanted and you moved heaven & earth to find the gift and spent a ton of money to make MIL happy, I might agree with you being upset with her. However, if you just picked up something that you thought she would like and she didn't, then I don't see why you are mad.

 

[BC]

Have you loved every gift you ever received???? I have gotten many gifts that were not that useful, but was always appreciative that the giver thought of me. How do you know your MIL did not appreciate it even though she chose not to use it?

 

[manning]

What was it you bought her 2 years ago that she didn't use that has you so up in arms?

A very small plot of land.

 

[Magic Mom]