How do you and your significant other handle gifts? Do you hint? Tell? Buy your own?

[Ember]

Just browsing through some of the thread and it got me wondering. When it comes to gifts, how do you let your partner what you would like? And what happens if you were to get something you didn't like?

My DH and I have always been very honest when it comes to gifts. We know that the intent of the gits is to make the other person happy, so it would be better to return something that wasn't right for something that was. We're also pretty open about what we would like, telling the other person or actually showing them. (I even picked out my own engagement ring.)

I established early on that a vacuum or kitchen gadget was not a good gift for me. Other people like them and that's perfectly okay, but I don't. To me, something for the house is just that, it's a household expense. It's not fair that I get him video games and new clothes, and I get a blender... (This is the only household gift he's attempted - early on. It didn't go over well.)

Over the past 13 years, we've gotten gift giving down to a bit of an art. This year we started the new tradition of giving to a charity on the other person's behalf and this is my new favorite gift!

So how do you handle it in your relationship??

 

[clh2]

Been married almost 20 years. My DH is NOT, I repeat, NOT a mind reader. So- if there is something I really, really want...I drop a hint to my daughter (she is now 15) !! DD is also pretty good about picking up on comments I make throughtout the year that translate into gift ideas.

Generally speaking, DH knows not to get anything that has a cord - unless I specifically request something. This year, DH got me an electric stapler...because I wanted one. This year, DH went out on a limb and got me an electric corkscrew...along with 3 bottles of wine, I didn't ask for that, but it worked! Another year, DH got me a power washer...yes, I wanted that one too!

 

[N.Bailey]

Hubby might surprise me with a gift here and there thru out the year, and I might do the same, but we decided long ago to not exchange Christmas gifts. We really don't get the point of it. We buy whatever we want or need during the year, so there isn't really anything to really want.

We do however buy lots of foods that we wouldn't buy all the time and spend the week from Christmas to New Year's pigging out on yummy foods.

We're both on the same page with this, so it's really the best choice for us.

 

[NMAmy]

I tell him what I'd like. I really like to receive books and if I didn't let him know, he'd have no idea what I haven't read yet. He is welcome to go off the list--the funniest gift he got me this year was battery operated socks. I had no idea they even existed but he was right...now that I know about 'em, I think they're fabulous!

I've never understood expecting one's husband to be a mind reader. It just seems to be setting oneself up for disappointment.

 

[Judy from Boise]

Buy them of course! In reality I buy whatever i want all year long.....but starting around Oct I buy what I want , and give them to DH to give to me in Dec.So Christmas is all about delayed gratification LOL!

 

[Jennasis]

DH makes a list for himself and then researches online where to get it for the best price. Then he emails me the list with links directly to the sites. He also has wishlists on amazon and a few other spots. Super easy! I also usually pick out a few things not on the list.

For me, I make a list along with where to get some od the obscure things. HOwever, DH is my best friend and knows me better than I do! He got me things I asked for AND a few things he heard me mention throughout the year that I didn't even ask for and I LOVE.

Of course my best friend would know what I want, and vice versa!

 

[wdwfan16]

Just browsing through some of the thread and it got me wondering. When it comes to gifts, how do you let your partner what you would like? And what happens if you were to get something you didn't like?

My DH and I have always been very honest when it comes to gifts. We know that the intent of the gits is to make the other person happy, so it would be better to return something that wasn't right for something that was. We're also pretty open about what we would like, telling the other person or actually showing them. (I even picked out my own engagement ring.)

I established early on that a vacuum or kitchen gadget was not a good gift for me. Other people like them and that's perfectly okay, but I don't. To me, something for the house is just that, it's a household expense. It's not fair that I get him video games and new clothes, and I get a blender... (This is the only household gift he's attempted - early on. It didn't go over well.)

Over the past 13 years, we've gotten gift giving down to a bit of an art. This year we started the new tradition of giving to a charity on the other person's behalf and this is my new favorite gift!

So how do you handle it in your relationship??

I will send him hints. Sometimes her gets the item and other times he buys something that he thinks I would want. Both are great gifts that are appreciated.

 

[minkydog]

I do two things. I buy my own gifts and put them in his gift closet and I write down exactly what I want. I hate surprises. If I hint or even if I come right out and tell him, he forgets and then I'm disappointed. For instance, this year I really wanted a food scale and a stethoscope. Didn't write them down, so I didn't get them. I'll go out next week and buy them myself.

DH is pretty easy to buy for. Sometimes he buys what he wants and puts it in MY gift closet. BUt usually he wants to be surprised. DH loves it when i buy him little things.

 

[MiniGirl]

Awhile back, I told my dh what I really wanted was a clean house, and so we officially stopped exchanging gifts and hired a cleaning service to come in every other week to clean. Best gift ever!!! LOL!!!

In truth though, we were never really into the whole gift thing. If there is something we need (or even just really want), we will buy it -- assuming, of course, it is in the budget. If it happens to be around a particular gift-giving occassion, we will call it a birthday, anniversary, holiday gift just because of the timing. Our gift to each other, though, continues to be a house cleaning service.

 

[Sparx]

DBF is a fantastic gift buyer. if i say, "i'd like ____," he remembers. he always buys me things that i want and like. i paint a lot, so for christmas i got several large canvases and new paint, which was a great gift that he came up with by himself. i asked for a few other things, and he also got me those

he's a legos collector (and he has a HUGE collection) so a good standby gift for him is always a lego set he likes. he also plays a lot of video games, so i usually know what game he's been looking at recently.

i love surprises, so this way works for us.

 

[crz4mm2]

Fortunately, I have a DD (22yo) who "helps" Dh
I used to give hints... but now she does it for me

 

[DISNEY1975]

I leave list of what/where/how much...and sometimes that doesnt even work! I remember one year I wanted a black Coach pocketbook and I got some random black pocketbook he picked up at Marshalls. (Nice, but not Coach). I didnt say anything then, but weeks later I mentioned something and he asked "What's the difference?"

My mother used to leave a catalog on the table with the pages marked and highligher on the items for my father!

 

[disney1990]

We usually give each other a "list" of suggestions. Otherwise, sometimes it is hard to come up with something that the other person really wants. This year my DH got some of the suggestions and picked up some other things he thought about.

 

[bigbabyblues]

DH takes hints from me, but he also likes to pick things out on his own. He is great at picking things I like, including clothes.

I usually ask him for a specific list. This year, he wanted several things for the DSLR camera, and he is very picky about what he wants. He gave me a list of several things to pick from, links included tot he websites. I got some of those, and a couple of things I picked out for him, and he liked them all.

 

[Danauk]

DH and I tell one another what we would like as our main present, then we usually choose an additional gift we think one another would like. Actually this year I preferred my surprise present (a swarovski crystal mickey), I had mentioned I liked it in the shop so DH got it on line for me.

Then this year my best friends got me a lovelinks bracelet and 2 charms. DH then requested I make a note of additional charms from the shops website that I like. Looks like I am all set for nice birthday and christmas presents for a while!!

 

[bumbershoot]

Things have changed, and sometimes what worked one year doesn't work the next, but this year I bought one of my gifts then gave him the bag at the mall, and the other gift I pointed at covertly (so DS didn't see), then wandered off so they could "surprise" me.

This year DH told me exactly what he wanted (a printout of what we've paid off this year and certain earbuds), and I also bought him something else I knew he wanted.

The one year he went off my amazon wishlist, not only did he get me a book I don't feel is a gift (how to cut kid's hair), but also some stuff that I didn't want but hadn't updated. I hadn't sent him a link to the WL (though it's the first place he thinks b/c he works there, LOL) but he sought it out all the same. Whoopsie!

Awhile back, I told my dh what I really wanted was a clean house, and so we officially stopped exchanging gifts and hired a cleaning service to come in every other week to clean. Best gift ever!!! LOL!!!

Ooooh. That might...that might really work. Though the initial gift, and actually more important for me, would be to hire an organizer. A friend keeps wanting to help, but she's of the "if you haven't used it in x time toss it" camp, and I am very much NOT. I want the stuff I want to keep, but I wanted it organized in a good way. Once that happens, I could keep it clean.

This might be something good...thanks for mentioning it!

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Dh and I generally make a rule not to exchange gifts. He doesnt usually want anything and even if I asked for something he wouldnt get it right, so after many years we have learned not to do it. He took me to walmart yest. I just picked myself out a new hand mixer. I wanted a pair of pjs but of course everything was sold out. Oh well. Theres always next year.
This year I just gave dh a picture of me and him at disney in front of the castle and a note saying thank you for all he has done for me this year with all my cancer, surgeries drs. visits etc. He is worth his weight in gold for sure!!

 

[bicker]

How do you and your significant other handle gifts?

She buys both.

 

[mom2rb]

This year I wanted a camera from DH and house shoes and lotion from my boys. DH wanted his IPOD Touch fixed and some comic books.

We went camera shopping together, to make sure I got exactly what I wanted, I went and bought the house shoes myself, and DH took the boys to buy my lotion and bubble bath from Bath & Body Works. I went to the Apple store. DH went to the comic book store. Everything goes into the closet and DH wraps it all on Christmas Eve. Our friends think we're weird but it works for us.

 

[AshleyW]

We just make lists for each other. I tell him SPECIFIC things that I want, and he gives me a vague kind of list (i.e.: movies, jeans, new shoes) This year, a lot of the stuff I wanted was online, so I e-mailed him links of the things I wanted. He's not real great at thinking of gift ideas, so he likes everything to be done for him, outside of actually buying the gift. On the other hand, I like surprising him and he likes the gifts I pick out, so I go off his vague list and pick things out myself. It seems to work out pretty well for us.