how do I make her understand....

[WDW2002]

I am in the midst of planning a Thanksgiving trip with my mom. Since I grew up in Orange Country (Garden Grove) and we went to Disneyland several times a year and never planned a thing. My mom DOES NOT understand why I am doing so much planning. In fact she would just as soon go with no plans at all. Anyone have any ideas of how to get her to be involved?? I am having to pretty much force her to give me her preferences on rides & attractions (I pretty much already know this) and where she would like to eat. But from there it is up to me. I don't mind per se but I don't want her to start complaining half way through because she did want to help with the plans. Any ideas suggestions etc??

 

[roymccoy]

Get her a Birmbaum Book and a free videotape from Disney. Reading through the book really gets the excitement going and watching the tape can bring a tear to your eye. Let her plan where you eat for lunch or dinner.

Roy

 

[teri]

I am not sure how long it has been since your mom has been to Disneyland... Thanksgiving is an extrememly busy time in the park. You will want to make your reservations for dining in advance, if possible. With the crowds that heavy, you will want to be close to the places where you have your reservations so you are not wasting energy crisscrossing the parks. So, if you can make a plan, you will save energy and have more time to browse, talk, people watch, etc.

How is that for an explanation?

 

[WDW2002]

Do they make a video for the Disneyland Resort??
It has been 5 years since she has been, they hadn't even started construction of DCA yet. And I have told her several times WHY I think planning is important but she kinda looks at me and rolls her eyes. I have been both ways as an adult, planned to the tee, unplanned at all and half planned (okay so thats three ways) and planned is so much nicer and easier. I guess I will just have to keep at her and keep reminder.

 

[Califgirl]

I'm not sure how old your Mom is, but perhaps she's of the age, or the temperment, that she doesn't want to be pushed er... sheparded from place to place. Maybe she likes the LEISURELY pace of walking down mainstreet and taking in the sights, enjoying an unplanned barbershop quartet or some of the other wonderful moments that just seem to pop up during a magical Disneyland trip. Perhaps you could compromise by deciding where and when to have lunch and where to begin your day and then have a loose guide of the things you would like to see and do that doesn't include too much back-tracking from one 'land' to the other.

I'll admit, I enjoy Disneyland much more when I don't attack it "commando style". I have to laugh becasue my brother-in-law (in his 40's) still practically runs from attraction to attraction. Whenever I take his kids to Disneyland with me they even remark, how much more they like my relaxed style- even though I often have to remind them that they don't have to proceed at a walk-run while they weave in and out of slower park guests. They stop and laugh and then relax and have a great time. Remember, if you've been on these boards long enough, if you have the videos and the guide books, well, then you know lots of tricks to make your visit more efficient and fun without seeming rushed or forced. If your goal is for your Mom to enjoy the trip, then allow her to set the pace.

Relax...and enjoy life.
and have a magical time at Disneyland!
Chris

 

[LuvTigger]

I can understand your predicament! I planned a trip for a bunch of friends a few years ago (to WDW), and basically accepted the fact that they WANTED me to be the planner because they were not planners.

My boyfriend is also not a planner, and knows I enjoy it, so he pretty much lets me have free reign.

My words to friends/boyfriend who don't wish to plan is, "I'll do the planning, but don't complain if you don't like it."

 

[WDW2002]

califgirl

When I say planning i dont mean a commando-style written in stone type plan. More of what do you want to see and do. I HATE skipping from section to section. And much prefer to start in one land and go from ride to ride, in order they appear (Indy to Jungle Cruise to Pirates etc.) There is nothing rushed or hurried in my plans. Everything is leisurely. To me planning is knowing what you want to do ahead of time and to prioritize it, just in case you find yourself watching the barbershop quartet or something else that can never be planned. As for letting her set the pace, she is far from being elderly, so her "speed" is not my concern. My concern is more that she wants to wait until we get there to do figure out what she wants to do. Which I have found wastes a lot of time and can cause frustration. As for my goal it is for us ALL to enjoy the trip Mom, my 2 DD (8 & 10) and myself.


LuvTigger
I too enjoy planning, so that is not the problem. It is more to do with your last statement "I'll do the planning, but don't complain if you don't like it." I don't want to hear her complaining the entire time.



To all
Thank you for all the great advice so far. I have seen "video" mentioned a couple times. But last I check the Disneyland Resort does not have a video. If anyone knows where I can get one, please let me know.

 

[Uncle Buck]

If there are certain attractions or restraunts that are must-sees, make your firm plans for those, making reservations if needed and Fast Pass plans. Try to be in the area around those times.

Other than that, I would only plan for what to be aware of when you are in the area. We were so busy tying up loose ends at work before we left, that my wife didn't have the bandwidth to get involved much in planning. Even with 4 days in the parks, we were resolved to the fact that we would miss things. Keeping it simple allowed us to be flexible and relaxed instead of stressed when things didn't go as planned.

On the day we chose to do the character breakfast at Goofy's, it seemed every kid staying within 10 miles showed up and there was a 45-minute wait. We put our name in anyway and walked around the DLH and got our DD's hair wrapped. After that, we figured, why bother and went on in and did the breakfast at the Plaza Inn. We were pleasantly surprised finding a very quiet time with few guests and lots of one-on-one with Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, and Eeyore. This "unplanned" event lead to one of the highlights of our trip! It' the surprises that are the magical moments (except the 2:30 AM fire alarm at the Westcoast Anaheim).

From what I an understand (DL this year, WDW/DCL and reading the boards), the people who don't get involved in planning don't because the details don't matter much to them. I've never heard of any troubles when things go wrong. Planning is a great diversion from the anticipation for some people, myself included, but shouldn't take away the necessary flexiblity to have a magical trip.

Good Luck, have a great trip.

UB

 

[eeyorerulz]

sent you a pm message....

 

[elehua]

Basically you and your mom have different "styles" and unless she was the type that "planned" in the past - what's the difference now. I have friends who don't want a "planned" vacation. I on the other hand are like you and want to make the most of my vacation, don't want to miss anything new or re-newed! So if I do vacation with family or friends that aren't "planners" we usually do our own thing and then meet up during some part of the day to eat and share stories. Maybe mom's just okay with tagging along or if she says it's whatever you want, then just go with it - it's your vacation!

 

[WDW2002]

Originally posted by elehua
unless she was the type that "planned" in the past - what's the difference now.

Well the difference now is that we aren't 10 mins from the park and going 2 or more times a year. It has been 5 1/2 years since she has been.

Anyway, she finally did as I asked and gave me a list of the rides/attractions she wants to do, skip or do if there is time. So I am satisfied, now I can do "my thing"