How do I get my 17 year old son interested in Disney again?

[CatNipRules]

After a LONG hiatus, we are back. Our last trip to the World definitely didn't go as planned. Lets just say that there were a lot of setbacks and none of us were too thrilled with visiting again anytime soon.

Well, DH and I were talking about it tonight. We decided that we want to go back next year. It will probably be sometime in September of 2015.

The issue is that my son will be 18 and right now he could care less about going. He says that there isn't much to do there. I honestly think that he has forgotten about all the fun things to do there.

We will be driving this time instead of flying. I honestly think that driving is 100 times more fun than flying. I would do a trip with just my husband and me, but every time I even try to consider it, I feel guilty. When I ask my son about it, he says that he wouldn't mind staying home. So, why do I feel like he would be missing out if we do a couples only trip?

Should I force him to go? Should I maybe consider the fact that he's done with family trips and just go with DH? I'm so confused and need some help....

 

[shoney]

After a LONG hiatus, we are back. Our last trip to the World definitely didn't go as planned. Lets just say that there were a lot of setbacks and none of us were too thrilled with visiting again anytime soon.

Well, DH and I were talking about it tonight. We decided that we want to go back next year. It will probably be sometime in September of 2015.

The issue is that my son will be 18 and right now he could care less about going. He says that there isn't much to do there. I honestly think that he has forgotten about all the fun things to do there.

We will be driving this time instead of flying. I honestly think that driving is 100 times more fun than flying. I would do a trip with just my husband and me, but every time I even try to consider it, I feel guilty. When I ask my son about it, he says that he wouldn't mind staying home. So, why do I feel like he would be missing out if we do a couples only trip?

Should I force him to go? Should I maybe consider the fact that he's done with family trips and just go with DH? I'm so confused and need some help....

He doesn't want to go. I would just leave it at that.

He may not be done with family trips. He just doesn't have a desire to go back to Disney. My son is 14 and feels the same way.

I don't know why you would feel guilty going on a trip that you and your dh want to go on. I say enjoy that couples only trip.

If you really wanted a family vacation, I would pick a destination that appeals to everyone.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

Here are a few of the things my parents did when we hit that age. We are starting to do the same things with our own kids (DD14, DS16)

- Let him bring a friend
- Let him choose the vacation destination
- Go without him

It is a tough age! DS16 says he's done "themeparking" until he has his own kids. DD14 will go to WDW with her high school softball team for Spring Break 2015. She is really looking forward to it because she gets to go with friends. She doesn't care whether we are there or not. DH and/or I may go on the trip too (families are welcome), but I know my son will want to spend his last high school spring break with his friends - not at WDW. He will probably go to the beach instead and that is ok with me.

 

[mom2cinderella]

Plan a couples trip with dh and either a. Let ds know he is welcome at anytime to change his mind and come with - even if it's just to hang out at the pool or b. Let him choose and plan a long weekend for the three of you - someplace you've never been to maybe?

 

[Hannathy]

Where does he want to go? Some people just don't like Disney. My sister doesn't. I took her son to Disney, She took him other places.

If it is important to do a family trip go where he wants to go this year and then next year or the year after that go to Disney with your DH.

The chance to go on a family trip with him are running out so I would do it this year. You have a lot of years ahead of you to go to Disney with your DH when your son has moved out.

 

[flutterby3744]

Don't feel guilty. However, I feel your guilt too. My oldest DD is 20 (a student, and still lives with us) and she told us this next trip she would rather skip. It feels so weird (and a little sad) planning without her!

I say go with your DH and have a fabulous time! As much as I love vacationing with my kids, I would love to do a couples only trip!! We've talked about it, but then we would have to lie to our kids about where we are going- they'd never forgive us!

 

[CatNipRules]

Don't feel guilty. However, I feel your guilt too. My oldest DD is 20 (a student, and still lives with us) and she told us this next trip she would rather skip. It feels so weird (and a little sad) planning without her!

I say go with your DH and have a fabulous time! As much as I love vacationing with my kids, I would love to do a couples only trip!! We've talked about it, but then we would have to lie to our kids about where we are going- they'd never forgive us!

That's where I'm at right now. The sad part. I know that he's basically a grown up. He used to love Disney when he was younger,but now he could take it or leave it. I just feel so sad and depressed when I start planning a trip without him. I know I need to get over it, but I just feel so out of sorts with it all.....

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

How do you force an 18 year old to go on a vacation?

If he doesn't want to go, travel without him or plan a vacation to a place he wants to go.

 

[flutterby3744]

That's where I'm at right now. The sad part. I know that he's basically a grown up. He used to love Disney when he was younger,but now he could take it or leave it. I just feel so sad and depressed when I start planning a trip without him. I know I need to get over it, but I just feel so out of sorts with it all.....

I really do feel your pain. My DD was my Disney buddy her whole life. Everyone else would go back to the room at night, and we would close out the park...

It's really hard when they grow up and get all independent on you. I wasn't ready.

 

[CatNipRules]

I really do feel your pain. My DD was my Disney buddy her whole life. Everyone else would go back to the room at night, and we would close out the park...

It's really hard when they grow up and get all independent on you. I wasn't ready.

He was mine also. We went on weekend trips together. And one year when we had a hurricane and were both out of work and school, we took off for a week long trip to Disney. We would do all the rides together. Even the rides I didn't really want to go on.

The thing is, he doesn't want to really go anywhere for vacation. We've asked him if there is someplace he wants to go instead. The answer is the same. No.... I can't figure it out for the life of me. I know he's getting older and independent,but I don't have to like it.

Maybe this is going to be a new phase in my life,but it's going to take awhile getting used to it all....

 

[crazydaisy00]

My DS wasn't excited this year to go we missed a few years and I thought this might be an issue. I dug out a dvd of Disney parks on all the parks and details and started watching. Asked to watch a part with me and he got sucked in. I think he forgot about the details, rides, great food, entertainment, etc and was thinking more characters and Disney theme. I got him on you tube watching video of rides and now he's excited to go. He is helping me plan itinerary and ADR and downloaded the MDE on his phone so he can read and design hos magic band. Praying my kids never grow out of wanting to go but I'm sure we will at some point... until they have kids!

 

[Marionnette]

He was mine also. We went on weekend trips together. And one year when we had a hurricane and were both out of work and school, we took off for a week long trip to Disney. We would do all the rides together. Even the rides I didn't really want to go on.

The thing is, he doesn't want to really go anywhere for vacation. We've asked him if there is someplace he wants to go instead. The answer is the same. No.... I can't figure it out for the life of me. I know he's getting older and independent,but I don't have to like it.

Maybe this is going to be a new phase in my life,but it's going to take awhile getting used to it all....

He doesn't want to vacation with the parental units. Take the same vacations, remove Mom & Dad, add his friends and voila! He would jump on it in a New York minute. I know this because I have two sons (22, 21) and each of them reached point in their teen years when the last thing they wanted to do was hang out with Mom & Dad for a week.

The good news is that they eventually outgrow it. We finally took a family vacation again a couple of years ago. It wasn't Disney. We went to Punta Cana where they could soak up the sun and sea, gamble in the casinos and hang at the pool bars (drinking age in the Dominican Republic is 18). It was the type of vacation they were more enthusiastic about.

My advice is not to push it. Yes, it hurts a little but the letting go process is not easy. Just remember that your goal all along was to raise an independent man. Your son is on that pathway.

 

[Happyjen27]

That's where I'm at right now. The sad part. I know that he's basically a grown up. He used to love Disney when he was younger,but now he could take it or leave it. I just feel so sad and depressed when I start planning a trip without him. I know I need to get over it, but I just feel so out of sorts with it all.....

He will come back around and enjoy trips with you again. I think that he's just an age where he's spreading his wings and not doing so many family things right now. He'll be back around 22-25 when he's truly grown up.

I, too, will be sad when my littles arrive at this stage, and so I hope someone copies and pastes this back to me in 11 years. I have 3 brothers and distinctly remember when each of them arrived at this age and removed themselves a bit from our family. They all came back though.

 

[caselaw3]

The way I see it you have a couple of options -
1. Make him go - but then he will be miserable
2. Ask him if he would like to bring a friend and see if that makes it better
3. Leave him home....

NOW - if you want to take a family vacation with him and it is not just a Disney trip you are looking forward to, then my best advice would be to - ask him where he wants to go - and plan a trip WITH him....
this would be my decision if it was more about a family vaca than a Disney one...
I think it might be kind of fun and exciting to see where he would choose to go and what he would like to do - you may find that you have an adventure you weren't expecting but that you all really loved and it might mean that you have a really memorable and fun family vacation - being that he is 18 this may be the last time that you all are on the same schedule for a vacation - esp. if he goes off to college next year ----

just something to consider

 

[Gumbo4x4]

My buddies dragged me away from Daytona for a day at MK when I was 17. I hated every second of it. In fact, I didn't return until I had kids of my own, nor did I have any desire to (did do AK, Universal, and Sea World at 31 in 1998).

 

[mjkacmom]

He will come back around and enjoy trips with you again. I think that he's just an age where he's spreading his wings and not doing so many family things right now. He'll be back around 22-25 when he's truly grown up.
.

Yep! Looking forward to meeting dd17 on the other side, probably when she gets out of college. I can't wait to meet the adult version. Until then, I'm fortunate that I still have ones who like to cuddle, go shopping, go to the movies, play games, go on vacation... I'm hoping that by the time my twins are older teens, I'll be happy to have all adult children, and looking forward to the grandchildren, and start all over.

 

[Gina-Gina-Bo-Bina]

I have an 18 year old. While he loves Orlando, he's no huge fan of Disney (except some small components, like breakfast at Ohana). I am not saying he dislikes it. But there are many other elements to Orlando that he prefers to the Mouse. And that's okay....his time to recapture the love may still come. I am sure it will be someplace he will take his own kids someday.

As we have always done, we continue to plan vacations together. We decide the parks to visit, the places to eat, the amount of downtimes vs. "go time" together. And we are sure to include components that are important to everyone......not just him.

Many aspects of Disney are very female-centric (think princesses) or child-centric. I can totally see why a young man getting comfortable in his adulthood would shy away from all things Disney. Orlando has so much to offer for young adults outside of the Disney parks. Maybe it could be a good time to discover those places?

 

[Nayan]

My buddies dragged me away from Daytona for a day at MK when I was 17. I hated every second of it. In fact, I didn't return until I had kids of my own, nor did I have any desire to (did do AK, Universal, and Sea World at 31 in 1998).

My parents drug me to Disney many times and I hated it so much it took well over 30 years to go back, so no I wouldn't force him to go. Some people adore Disney, some like myself just like it and others can do without it. I agree with other posters said and plan a trip that he really wants to do. If he doesn't want to go anywhere, no big deal either. Go and have a great couples trip instead.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I think you have to step back and look at the big picture. September after he turns 18. Will he be in collage, a senior in high school? Chances are that time will not even work for him to be away for a vacation. Things change so much as they grow up. I would try to get one last family vacation in before he goes to collage. It might need to be summer vacation and you might decide not to do WDW and save that to when he's away at school and you and DH decide to go.

Is he an only child? Makes it even more difficult. DH and I really do look forward to a someday solo trip to WDW but we will not do that until neither boy wants to go and while the oldest is 21, the little guy is 7 soooooooo.

 

[andrews_dad]

I remember being a boy that age in Disney.... the princesses helped keep my interest. Sorry, true.