How can I help my friend to feel better after sudden loss of pet?

[chrissyk]

My good friend and next-door neighbor lost her 10-year-old cat to a heart attack (cardiomyopathy?) yesterday. This was her cat from even before she got married and had kids. He was seemingly perfectly healthy. He died instantly. Of course this was a shocking way for her to lose her pet, and she is understandably distressed over it.

I've already emailed with her today and put a sympathy card in her mailbox, but I'll also see her after she gets home from work tonight. Can anyone think of anything that I can get for her or say to her that will help? Her cat was a really wonderful pet...so friendly and loving. I had to fight back tears this morning when her husband told me what happened. I thought of getting flowers, but then I wasn't sure if she'd be reminded of her loss every time she saw the flowers. I'd appreciate any ideas.

 

[mickeyboat]

I think flowers would be lovely. I hope she feels better knowing how much you care about her.

Denae

 

[KathyTX]

I agree that flowers would be a lovely gesture. I wouldn't worry at all about the sight of them reminding her of her pet.

Really, any little thing you can do to show her that you care about how she's feeling would probably be appreciated.

Mickeyboat's absolutely right- knowing how much you care about her is what will matter to her now.

 

[phillybeth]

How about a donation in her pet's memory to a local rescue or shelter?

 

[Missy1961]

You are a wonderful friend! Most people wouldn't acknowledge the death of a pet at all. You have emailed her, sent her a card, and you are there for her. She is very lucky to have you as a friend....I like the idea of a donation to a pet shelter.

 

[chrissyk]

We have been each other's designated cat-sitters since I moved in 7 years ago, so we know each other's pets well. That's why I knew that this would hit her so hard She is home from work early, and she's still very upset. What's making it harder is that her younger cat was his best buddy. The younger cat is acting VERY strangely, hiding out, crouching when she walks, etc. She definitely knows that something isn't right. It seems like she is looking for him I'm sure that pets grieve other pets too.

 

[Mom-to-3]

www.petloss.com

 

[DVC Kathy]

When we lost our cat LC four years ago, the vet actually sent us flowers. Although I cried every time I looked at them, I really appreciated it.

Pepper started acting very needy after LC died, so we ended up at the PetSmart shelter only a few weeks after LCs death. He was much happier when Smokey joined the household.

Of course, I know from experience that adding a new cat to the household isn't always that easy, but it's something to think about.

I think a donation to a shelter would also be a good choice, especially if she got the cat at a shelter.

My thoughts are with your neighbor and her remaining cat, but also with you. We were very attached to the neighbor's cat we cat sat.

Kathy

 

[Dan Murphy]

I have always thought the Rainbow Bridge poem has such wonderfully comforting words at the time of the loss of a pet. That is so sad. Maybe print this out and give to her.

<font face="Comic Sans MS">
<h1 align="center"><img hspace="5" src="http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rbowx.gif" width="74" height="37">Rainbow Bridge <img src="http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rbowx.gif" width="74" height="37"></h1>
</font>
<center><p><font size="+1" face="Comic Sans MS">Just this side of heaven is a place
called Rainbow Bridge.<br>
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet
goes to Rainbow Bridge.<br>
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and
play together.<br>
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and
comfortable.<br>
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those
who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember
them in our dreams of days and times gone by.<br>
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss
someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.<br>
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and
looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers.
Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs
carrying him faster and faster.<br>
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you
cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses
rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once
more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never
absent from your heart.<br>
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....<br>
Author unknown...</font></p></center>

 

[Shugardrawers]

Just acknowledging that the loss of a pet is hard and being there for her is more than most people would do. A lot of people don't understand that it's not "just" a pet, it's a member of the family. I think the flowers is a great idea and so is the donation. Also, be nothing less than 100% supportive whether she decides to get another cat right away or wait awhile. Do not make the mistake of trying to make her feel better by getting her a kitty for a suprise. Someone did that for me and while I appreciated the gesture, he wasn't my Chilly cat and I just couldn't bond with him.

 

[slo]

When my dog died at 5yrs old - very unexpectadly - I was devostated. I never grieved so hard in my entire life. During this time, my mom donated money to The Humane Society in my dogs name. This was such a nice tribute to my dog and wonderful way for my mom to show that she cared about my dog, and to show that she cared for me during my grieving process.

 

[mickey65]

You are being such a wonderful, caring friend already.
When I lost my kitty last March, one of my friends took the Rainbow Bridge poem and scanned a picture of Lucy in at the bottom along with the date. He also had it framed for me. It is beautiful. At first I cried each time I saw it, but now I can look at it
and it is so comforting.
Hugs to you and your friend.
Oh, and the web site that Dan put the link to, is a wonderful place to go. There is a chat line there that can be very helpful to people that have lost a pet of any kind. She can go talk, or just listen. For me, it is one of the things that helped me get through the loss of my kitties.

 

[poohbear1029]

My neighbors brought us flowers, and that was great. What meant the most where those that acknowlegded our loss with true sympathy.....it validated that it was okay to be so upset about the loss of a pet.