Hilary Clinton...

[The Mayor]

...this is probably been seen before but still wicked funny


Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the aged bovine was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists. About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick. "What happened to you," asked Hillary? "Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made mad passionate love to me."! For heaven's sake, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary. The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, I'm Hillary
Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow. The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."

 

[SwedishMeatball]

Do you know what the P in PM stands for?? You haven't even been drinking and you're trying to cause trouble.

 

[HOGFAN]

this needs a bump!

 

[Laz]

 

[What the Heck]

this needs a bump!

Oh yes it does.

 

[JMD]

 

[Phrebert]

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

 

[Christopher Robin]

One day, Rush finds himself in an elevator with Hillary. As soon as the doors close, Hillary turns to Rush and says "You know, don't you, that everything I say in public is just an act. I'm actually at a loss as how to be a good woman, and I do need help. Since I so secretly look up to you, PLEASE help be become a real woman." Rush begins to take off his clothes, and Hillary follows suit. When Rush has stripped, Hillary looks wistfully in his eyes and states this is her true dream. Rush smiles back and asks "Do you really want me to help you become a real woman?" Hillary immediatly says YES! At that, Rush throws his clothes on the floor and tells Hillary, "Well then, you can begin by folding my clothes."

 

[Christopher Robin]

A little for both sides of the aisle.

 

[ButchJohnson]

I think some people on here think that its a cardinal sin to make fun of the smartest women in the world, better get your flame suit ready.

I'll tell you a semi-funny true story about Hillary that happened to me personally. It wasn't funny just odd. My elementary school principal was a fan of hers (this was in 1978 and the Clintons had just been elected as Governor to Arkansas.) Hillary was still in her pre-transformed stage. She had these huge coke bottle glasses that covered half of her face, had really long straight as a board hair, and was just generally un-attractive with this style. (Don't get me wrong I think she looks great now compared to how she used to look)

The principal makes this big deal about how the new first lady of the state is going to speak at my 6th grade graduation and yada yada. So the time comes and she speaks for about 5 minutes and then just literally storms out of the room like she was on fire, or just generally in a super hurry to get out of there. The whole time she spoke she had this big frown and just generally looked like she was extremely POd about something. I dont know I guess you had to be there, but it was really just kind of weird at how cold and mean she kind of came across as.

She has since reformed, she dresses in business hottie style, now has a sense of humor (depending on what the polls say at the time) and is a HUGE Yankees fan now.