High School Grad question/should I send something?

[Belle5]

I have a cousin that I have seen only once in 34 years and that was at my brother's funeral 6 1/2 years ago. We had a nice chat that lasted 20 minutes or so and I enjoyed meeting his new wife (his first wife died shortly after giving birth to their third son. I had never met her). After that, we exchanged yearly Christmas newsletters and photos. We have enjoyed reading about/seeing their (now) four sons. They live 2,000 miles away and it is difficult to think when we would ever see them again...except at a funeral. I think there is a bit of a connection as we have six sons, they have four...somewhat similar ages. I have never sent them any kind of invitation or announcement, even though I have recently had three sons graduate high school (and as of this week two from college) and I even have my own high school graduate this year and did not send them an announcement. I did receive an announcement from them today about their oldest son graduating from high school. I'm sure this is NOT a gift grab! They are really, really well-off financially! I think they are truly proud and want to share. I am just trying to figure out what is appropriate to do here. I don't want them to feel awkward when they hear/realize that we have our own graduate and they did not receive anything from us. I am touched that they would want to include us in their proud moment. Truthfully, our budget is SHOT from all the graduation gifts for several kids that we know very well and our own son getting married this summer. I am thinking of sending something like a book????? Honestly, this young man wouldn't know us if he saw us on the street. I just really don't know. What would you do?

 

[Granfan]

I would absolutely send something small with a congratulatory card. Even just the card with a nice note. I used to not think much about ignoring invitations from people I didn't know well until I saw how disappointed my son was when his were ignored.

 

[crisi]

Or just a nice note. Years ago I spent not much money at all on "engraved" correspondence cards - I use those, that way I don't spend $2 on a card or run to the store. http://www.americanstationery.com/shopping/prod_detail/main.asp-pid-137

 

[bpesch]

A nice card would be appropriate under these circumstances. I'm not sure about a gift because that might start something you really don't want to get into.

 

[Katy Belle]

I vote for sending a card with a nice note.

We are in a similar situation. We received an announcement yesterday from DHs cousin. Her DS is graduating. We have seen her once in 25 years, never have met her son. Never received birth announcements, christmas cards, etc. Im quite surprised she sent it. She has 2 more kiddos that will be graduating in a few years and we have 3 that will be graduating soon too. I kind of hate to get started with the sending of money. The only thing i can figure out is that we just moved back to the mid-west, perhaps that is why she invited us. But we live 6 hours from them!

Im going to send a card.

 

[scrapquitler]

I think that a nice card with a congratulatory note is enough in this situation.

 

[Belle5]

Or just a nice note. Years ago I spent not much money at all on "engraved" correspondence cards - I use those, that way I don't spend $2 on a card or run to the store. http://www.americanstationery.com/shopping/prod_detail/main.asp-pid-137

Thanks, Crisi, for the link. I wish I would have known about these a week ago as I ordered my own graduate a set through another company. These are nicer for a better price. I thought something like this would be nice for him to send out his own thank you notes. I have bookmarked the site for a future order.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I agree to send a nice card, no gift.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I also agree with a nice card. It is an announcement anyway, not an invitation, or that is what I was always told many years ago.

Suzanne

 

[horseshowmom]

I have a cousin that I have seen only once in 34 years and that was at my brother's funeral 6 1/2 years ago. We had a nice chat that lasted 20 minutes or so and I enjoyed meeting his new wife (his first wife died shortly after giving birth to their third son. I had never met her). After that, we exchanged yearly Christmas newsletters and photos. We have enjoyed reading about/seeing their (now) four sons. They live 2,000 miles away and it is difficult to think when we would ever see them again...except at a funeral. I think there is a bit of a connection as we have six sons, they have four...somewhat similar ages. I have never sent them any kind of invitation or announcement, even though I have recently had three sons graduate high school (and as of this week two from college) and I even have my own high school graduate this year and did not send them an announcement. I did receive an announcement from them today about their oldest son graduating from high school. I'm sure this is NOT a gift grab! They are really, really well-off financially! I think they are truly proud and want to share. I am just trying to figure out what is appropriate to do here. I don't want them to feel awkward when they hear/realize that we have our own graduate and they did not receive anything from us. I am touched that they would want to include us in their proud moment. Truthfully, our budget is SHOT from all the graduation gifts for several kids that we know very well and our own son getting married this summer. I am thinking of sending something like a book????? Honestly, this young man wouldn't know us if he saw us on the street. I just really don't know. What would you do?

I had a somewhat similar situation a couple of years ago. We received a wedding invitation for the wedding of the son of friends. His wedding was the exact same day as our daughter's wedding (just 3 or 4 hours difference). We had not sent them one because we knew the weddings were on the same day (as did they).

I thought about it and wasn't sure what to do (like you). I did decide to go ahead and send them a gift. I guess I decided it was just the easiest thing to do.