Hey

[nana2tots]

I would like to meet Mom's out there that have lost a child, just need someone to talk w/ that is experiencing the same hurt feelings that i am......

 

[amaris75]

HI my name is amaris and yes i to lost a child but you have to hold on to gods unchanging hand and know that the hurt and pain never goes away but everyday it gets a little easier to deal with my son was killed by the police in washington dc in 2007 mistaken identity and he has never seen his little girl who is now 3yrs old if you want to talk ever i am here to listen because i feel your pain i go through everyday

 

[SandiKB]

Hi Nana and Amaris, I lost my daughter in 2002 to cancer, it's not an easy road, but it does get more bearable as each day goes by.

 

[nana2tots]

Hey Mom's,
Yes everyone says it gets easier, but How ? I had only one child, and the Pain that i go through each and every day gets worse. It will be 4 yrs Nov. 4th, and i Pray each day for the pain to go away, but it's a struggle, here lately i have no desire to do anything, i am losing my Family, Friends, because of the way i am acting, and oh, plz don't tell me to seek help, that dosen't help.
I say to everyone, until you have walked in my shoes, you Will never know the Pain.I wonder all the time is this God's way of punishing me, i was the Best Mom, at least i hope in Sandi's eyes i was, that any Mom could be, She was our Life, and where you seen her Dad and Me, you would see Sandi, even when she was married.
I am so sorry for your Loss, and yes i think it would help just having someone in the same pain to talk to.
Please feel free to email me
nana2tots@yahoo.com
or be my friend on Facebook
Judy Smith, my profile pic is Pop Century
Thanks again Dear Friends

 

[lovetoscrap]

nana.

You don't want to hear this but Please, please, please talk to your doctor. When those feelings become as overwhelming as it sounds like they are then you need to get some support and your doctor is the place to start. You have your 2 beautiful grandchildren that need you to be there for them, and your daughter is relying on you to be the strength and support they need. You are the one that will always provide them that connection to their mother and they need that. They need you to be able to be just as great of a Grandma as you were a mom. If the doctor or therapist you have talked to isn't helping then find another one. Also, have you looked at local support groups? I think many hospitals and maybe even some churches provide groups where you can talk with others that have been through what you have.

Since this isn't a DIS Welcome Board topic I am going to move it to the Coping and Compassion board. You might also repost on the Community board. I can think of a few posters over there that are also going through the same thing.

 

[nana2tots]

Thank you, I know, i have been to the Grieving sessions, but just didn't feel as this was the place, or maybe i just made myself think that. I know i have these girls in my life and i think God everyday for that, it's just all my friends have Daughters, and yes, sometimes i get so jealous when they do the Mother/Daughter things, then i look at my Granddaughters and my sadness turns towards how their feelings are.
I will talk to my Dr., but usually all they want to do is give you meds to cover up the pain, i don't want that. Thank you so much for maybe waking me up, it's just so lonely without her.

 

[quasar4legs]

I am so sorry that any parent has to experience this unimaginable pain.

Sending you a cyber
Quasar

 

[nana2tots]

Thank you for the warm hug........

 

[sjs314]

Hi Judy, My name is Sheila and July 15 will be the 2 year anniversary of losing my DS He was married but had no children, I have good days and bad days so many things can trigger memmories and at times I feel as you do not wanting to do a thing. You are fortunate to have your grand daughters and I know with each holiday that comes I will have a day or days of not wanting to do anything. We belong to a club no one wants to join.

 

[nana2tots]

I am so sorry, yes it's called a circle that no one wants to be in. I am willing to chat with you anytime, and yes, it dosen't get any easier, just more Painful

 

[mommasita]

I am so deeply sorry for everyone's loss. It is something I can not even fathom.


nana2tots, I remember from the first time you posted about Sandi, you are always in my prayers. As is everyone else.

 

[nana2tots]

Awe thank you so much

 

[SandiKB]

Nana, my other kids have given me the strength to go on, please, please dig deep and turn to your beautiful granddaughters and try to find that strength. They need you as much as you need them. I have bad days, and I have ok days, not a day goes by that I don't ache for my little girl. Every function at school brings me to tears, because my daughter isn't there to participate. I watch my other kids and there is a gap between my eldest and my third child, that I fear will never close, as their sister is missing, and she was the link that brought them together. Talk about Sandi, keep her memory alive. People a lot of the times don't want to ask about your child, let them know it's ok, there is comfort in talking about our children. We started a non profit in Kayleigh's memory and that helped us so much as well, maybe there is something you can do in Sandi's memory that will help you.

 

[SandiKB]

Sheila, I'm so sorry for your loss ((hugs))

 

[lovetoscrap]

Thank you, I know, i have been to the Grieving sessions, but just didn't feel as this was the place, or maybe i just made myself think that. I know i have these girls in my life and i think God everyday for that, it's just all my friends have Daughters, and yes, sometimes i get so jealous when they do the Mother/Daughter things, then i look at my Granddaughters and my sadness turns towards how their feelings are.
I will talk to my Dr., but usually all they want to do is give you meds to cover up the pain, i don't want that. Thank you so much for maybe waking me up, it's just so lonely without her.

You have been in my thoughts. I have two daughters and can not even imagine what it would be like to lose one of them. I have no idea what it is like from your side. But I am also the child of someone's son that was gone at a young age. My biological father passed when I was very young--he was in his early 20s. His mother (my grandmother) didn't cope with it well and ultimately it meant that I had no relationship with her and thus, had no connection to him. I am not saying at all that I think that is how you are, but I can empathize with your granddaughters on losing a parent, and know what I wish I could have had from my Grandmother. I know how much they need you to be there for them.

Doctors do like to give out meds to cover stuff up but some meds can be helpful. The right medication doesn't cover things up, it gives you a better frame of mind to help you to work on coping. When you go through the trauma that you have been through your body changes and the chemical balance that helps control your emotions and state of mind can go all out of whack. The right medicine can help that. If you had developed diabetes and your doctor said you needed insulin to help you feel better and to live your life, and continue be a wonderful grandmother would you refuse? (I hope not ) This is no different. It can take a while to find the right med that doesn't make you feel worse than you already do, and the right dose, but your life is worth it and your granddaughters are absolutely worth it.

I understand that a support group is not for everyone but I am glad you have tried. I believe in the power of a good therapist, but like meds it can take a while to find the right match. Reaching out here is a great step also. Obviously there are others here that are part of your circle.

To everyone here that has lost a child, I am so sorry. No parent should ever have to bury their child. I will keep you and your families in my prayers.