Being active and leading ahealthy lifestyle is tough when you start out, and it stays tough until it becomes routine. Stick with it though, the benefits far out weigh not being active/make healthy lifestyle choices. I say "being active" because there's all sorts of stuff you can do that isn't in a gym. Do what is right for you.
I joined Sparkpeople.com about 5 years and 10lbs ago. I took off the weight and kept it off. It's a lifestyle approach and being active is just one part. Maybe give the website a shot. Anything that will get you motivated, like a great playlist, keep going back to it.
As for the endorphones high, for me, it is connected to how I feel when I go in (mentally and emotionally), what I think about when I'm working out, and how I feel when I leave. If I mentally prep for a hard workout, and honestly give all I can give, then I feel great leaving. Sometimes I am tired, sometimes I am juiced. Conversly when I cheat or give 75%, I don't feel as good afterwards.
palmtreegirl, way to stick with it! Keep at it!
Everyone can be active, choose what you enjoy and what works for you
