Help me understand

[Lucky4me]

I don't understand the wrapping stuff up just to have something to open deal.
When I was growing up, I rarely remember my parents opening up presents. When my kids were little, there were plenty of years dh and I didn't have anything to open. The kids didn't notice because we didn't make a big deal about it. Santa brings stuff to kids, not grown ups. No one was traumatized over it.
Has there been a shift over the years that everyone must have gifts to unwrap, adults and kids alike?
I seem to be reading a lot of posts like this lately...

 

[si-am]

Are you saying Christmas is just a holiday for kids?

 

[momto2inKC]

I don't really understand your post? I'm wondering the same thing as the PP, are you meaning the holiday is just for kids? That adults shouldn't receive gifts?

 

[r4blessings]

In our house, Santa brings gifts to the kids and DH and I give the kids books as a present. We buy for relatives and very close friends. I think its sweet that my kids want to get DH and I gifts for Christmas as well. I feel like they are learning that it is better to give than receive.

Now, our gifts don't have to be elaborate....but my kids put great thought and effort into what they think we will really like. A lot of times it is a homemade gift but other times its something that they've seen on tv or the store or at another person's house that they think we will really really like.

So, I think its sweet.

 

[Kathi OD]

I don't understand the wrapping stuff up just to have something to open deal.
When I was growing up, I rarely remember my parents opening up presents. When my kids were little, there were plenty of years dh and I didn't have anything to open. The kids didn't notice because we didn't make a big deal about it. Santa brings stuff to kids, not grown ups. No one was traumatized over it.
Has there been a shift over the years that everyone must have gifts to unwrap, adults and kids alike?
I seem to be reading a lot of posts like this lately...

No, I don't think there has been a shift over the years. Gift-giving between spouses is not about having something to unwrap, it's about doing something nice for that special someone in your life. I think that most husbands and wives enjoy getting something for their spouse at Christmas time, in much the same way parents enjoy getting presents for their children. The gift doesn't have to be something extravagant or huge. My favorite gift from DH came early in our marriage(we've been married 33 years) was nowhere near the biggest or most expensive - it was a pair of slippers!

FWIW...my parents (81 & 76) have always given each other a gift on Christmas, so your ideas on this practice, as are mine, have definitely been colored by our experiences as a child.

 

[brockash]

I don't know, I have a hard time with this one too. I personally could careless if DH or I have anything to open or exchange gifts for x-mas. We're slowly going away with all the exchanging of gifts, because really if one of us wants something and we can afford it, we'll just get it. The problem comes when I see my kids feel bad that we don't have anything to open on x-mas. Last year, my ds (7 at the time) was really upset that DH and I didn't have many gifts to open, like he and his sister did-(we had a gift that he had made us, and explained how that's all we wanted and Santa really just brought things for kids ect.) Since then, he's found out about Santa, and so I'm hoping he doesn't care anymore, but it was heartbreaking for me to see him upset because of that. -He's really not a sensitive kid like that at all, so in a way, I guess it was nice, but it was hard for me to see him upset on x-mas morning. Personally, I don't remember at all if my parents opened things up on x-mas morning or not (apparently I was too concerned with myself.) Anyways, I don't think we're going to make sure either of us have something to open on x-mas morning, but I can see where ppl. are coming from, doing it for the kids.

 

[2disneyboys]

Like OP, I never saw my parents open gifts until as a child I was old enough to either make them something or as I got older buy them something. Don't get me wrong, they bought each other stuff, they just did not wrap it & put it under the tree, they played with it or used it pretty much immediately. DH said his parents have always done it that way also.

DH &I get each other stuff, but we don't wrap it and put it under the tree. a year or so ago, DH & I took the boys out w/o the other "parent" and helped them buy "dad" something (he did the same) and then I helped the boys wrap dad's present and he did the same, but thats the only presents for us under the tree... now, we exchange gifts w/ other family members and the kids see us unwrap those presents, but once we had kids, we rarely wrap anything for each other and put under the tree... we just get it and start playing with it immediately. I already have my Christmas Present for this year... DH & I got each other (and the boys) a family trip to WDW 12/27-1/2 w/ dining plan (paid cash in full back in Oct).. we have a gift card to cover the cost of increasing our tickets from 6 day plain tickets to annual passes for the 4 of us and a gift card for any extra expenses including souvineers, and I got a new Canon Digital SLR camera (the T2i) w/ various Lens', and DH got allof the above (except the camera) and an invicta watch he's been wanting... (yikes, this year, we were a lot more extravagant with ourselves then we normally are!) none of this will be wrapped and under the tree, but the boys are well aware that it's mommy & daddy's presents to each other.

I took DS's out and we got for Dad from them Seasons 1-4 of Burn Notice on Black Friday for like $5.00 each and then we got him the camera and remotes etc to make his PS3 that new motion technology (thats sort of a gift for the boys also, but oh well) DH took them out yesterday and I know they came back with some stuff for me, but I won't know what it is until Christmas morning. then DH & I together will take each son out and help him buy his brother a gift that will be wrapped and under the tree. that gives our kids one on one time with both parents which is rare! our boys also do all our family shopping with us.. we try and emphaize the shopping and gifting for others much more than something for ourselves.

DH & I were actually talking about this last night! we always felt sort of silly before we had kids wrapping things & putting them under the tree, and most times, it did not make it to christmas morning! .. he'd say something about needing or wanting something that I already had for him and wrapped under the tree and I would be like here, open this.. no sense waiting, and he was always the same way... It works for us but we also recoginize that other familes do it otherways that that works for them.

 

[Lucky4me]

I understand the meaning of gift giving and no, I don't think Christmas is just for kids.
I don't get wrapping up stuff you already own just so your kids see you open up something. If no gift was bought or made, for whatever reason, nothing was opened and it wasn't a big deal. Once the kids were in school during those lean years, we had their wonderful hand crafted gifts to open and they were plenty.

The last couple of years I've noticed on this board and others, parents being worried because they and/or their spouse had nothing (or not a lot) to open up in front of their kids. I don't remember that ever being a worry for us.
I just remember being worried about getting the kids something they really wanted.

 

[momto2inKC]

I understand the meaning of gift giving and no, I don't think Christmas is just for kids.
I don't get wrapping up stuff you already own just so your kids see you open up something. If no gift was bought or made, for whatever reason, nothing was opened and it wasn't a big deal. Once the kids were in school during those lean years, we had their wonderful hand crafted gifts to open and they were plenty.

The last couple of years I've noticed on this board and others, parents being worried because they and/or their spouse had nothing (or not a lot) to open up in front of their kids. I don't remember that ever being a worry for us.
I just remember being worried about getting the kids something they really wanted.

Thanks for explaining, I get what you mean now
My husband and I don't do that. The kids never really have said anything or noticed if we didn't have anything under the tree. Some years we do, some we don't. Of course there's usually gifts to us from the kids, things they make at school or buy at the Santa Workshop at school.

 

[angierae]

I don't get wrapping up stuff you already own just so your kids see you open up something. .

I didn't catch that that's what you meant in your original post. I have never heard of anyone wrapping up things they already own, so I can't speak to that.

DH and I bought ourselves a 46" television this year as our "Christmas present" but we often buy each other a thing or two just because we love each other. We usually have a small limit - $50 or whatever.

 

[blackforest]

I see it as a way the my DH and myself cherish and acknowledge our love for each other. Not the PPs don't, just that Christmas is in that extra special category of telling and showing those around you that you mean the world to them! Oh, and my DH tells me ever day too!

 

[eeyorethegreat]

I understand the meaning of gift giving and no, I don't think Christmas is just for kids.
I don't get wrapping up stuff you already own just so your kids see you open up something. If no gift was bought or made, for whatever reason, nothing was opened and it wasn't a big deal. Once the kids were in school during those lean years, we had their wonderful hand crafted gifts to open and they were plenty.

The last couple of years I've noticed on this board and others, parents being worried because they and/or their spouse had nothing (or not a lot) to open up in front of their kids. I don't remember that ever being a worry for us.
I just remember being worried about getting the kids something they really wanted.

I think for some families the tadition is so much on the gifts that they get stressed over the amounts of gifts that there is to open. A good Christmas is one that has many presents for all to open. So they feel that they have to wrap things that they already have so it doesn't seem like someone got jipped. That is just what I have got from those threads. Christmas means different things to different people I guess. We haven't ever wrapped something that we already had just for there to be something to open. I figure kids are sharp they will figure that one out. There have been Christmas times that DH and I just exchanged a small gift or got something for the home and didn't open anything ourselves. Everyone has different traditions. The important thing to remember is the greatests gifts are ones that aren't wrapped.

 

[Marionnette]

I understand the meaning of gift giving and no, I don't think Christmas is just for kids.
I don't get wrapping up stuff you already own just so your kids see you open up something. If no gift was bought or made, for whatever reason, nothing was opened and it wasn't a big deal. Once the kids were in school during those lean years, we had their wonderful hand crafted gifts to open and they were plenty.

The last couple of years I've noticed on this board and others, parents being worried because they and/or their spouse had nothing (or not a lot) to open up in front of their kids. I don't remember that ever being a worry for us.
I just remember being worried about getting the kids something they really wanted.

I dont think that my parents ever bought gifts for each other just so they had something to open infront of us kids. I know that the Christmas gifts that Ive given my husband were not given as a means to entertain the kids. Those gifts have always been given with alot of consideration as to what he would enjoy but perhaps would not have purchased for himself. It may not be something that your not accustomed to. But you dont need to understand it or adopt it as a practice in your home.

 

[indimom]

We've never wrapped up belongings just to have something to open. Definitely weird to me.

We do give each other gifts. Because we like to.

Some years it may only be one gift. Other years several gifts. No rhyme or reason to it. Sometimes we go together on one gift for both of us (like a TV) but we don't normally wrap those. We just set them up and enjoy them.

And I also love surprising my DH. It's hard to do. I really hope I've pulled it off this year!

 

[Lucky4me]

I dont think that my parents ever bought gifts for each other just so they had something to open infront of us kids. I know that the Christmas gifts that Ive given my husband were not given as a means to entertain the kids. Those gifts have always been given with alot of consideration as to what he would enjoy but perhaps would not have purchased for himself. It may not be something that your not accustomed to. But you dont need to understand it or adopt it as a practice in your home.

(?)
I thought you got what I meant by saying the gifts you gave each other were not a means to entertain the kids. That was the whole point of my question. (I don't get why people do that)
Then you made the statement that I may not be accustomed to putting consideration into giving my dh gifts? You totally lost me there.

It is something my dh and I are both accustomed to. Carefully considering each others wants and needs when buying gifts. Who doesn't do that? dh is the best gift giver! It's uncanny how he knows exactly the right thing to get everyone. He puts me to shame, but I've hit a few home runs for him over the years too.

 

[vicki_c]

Lucky4me - I don't think anyone here really understands exactly what you mean - including me, but I haven't seen any posts like you are referencing. Maybe if I had, I would understand better.

If you have read things that people are wrapping up things they already own just to have something under the tree, well, yes I agree that's silly. (Here honey - here's the drill we bought when you needed in October, but I wrapped it up for Christmas! LOL! ) So I agree, I don't know anyone who does that.

My husband and I give gifts to each other because we want to, and we like to have them wrapped up to open on Christmas because it's a meaningful tradition to us. It has zero to do with what my kids would think if we didn't do that.

Your first post definitely made it sound like (1) you and your DH didn't exchange gifts on Christmas and (2) you thought the wrapped gifts were only for kids. You have corrected both of those interpretations in your later posts. I think that's why people were confused.

 

[Marionnette]

(?)
I thought you got what I meant by saying the gifts you gave each other were not a means to entertain the kids. That was the whole point of my question. (I don't get why people do that)
Then you made the statement that I may not be accustomed to putting consideration into giving my dh gifts? You totally lost me there.

It is something my dh and I are both accustomed to. Carefully considering each others wants and needs when buying gifts. Who doesn't do that? dh is the best gift giver! It's uncanny how he knows exactly the right thing to get everyone. He puts me to shame, but I've hit a few home runs for him over the years too.

I think you totally misunderstood my post and your looking for offense when none was intended.

 

[HLDisney]

OP, I think I've read some of the posts you've read and understand what you trying to say but I think it depends on each family's situation.

I'm a single mom and I've been wrapping gifts for myself ever since my DD was 2 1/2 and old enough to notice and be upset that my Christmas stocking was empty. No, I don't wrap old items but I have wrapped a book that I already had but hadn't read yet and/or bought myself something I was going to buy anyway and wrapped it so that my DD wouldn't be sad that I didn't have any gifts.

If my DD hadn't noticed that I wasn't getting any gifts, I might not have done this but since it bothered her that I didn't have presents (and I really didn't want to spend extra money on stuff I didn't need/want), I didn't have a problem with wrapping up something I already had.

HTH,
Helen

PS - this will be the first year that my DD is buying/making me a present on her own. I have no idea what it is and I can't wait to find out!

 

[snowywhite89]

I don't understand the wrapping stuff up just to have something to open deal.
When I was growing up, I rarely remember my parents opening up presents. When my kids were little, there were plenty of years dh and I didn't have anything to open. The kids didn't notice because we didn't make a big deal about it. Santa brings stuff to kids, not grown ups. No one was traumatized over it.
Has there been a shift over the years that everyone must have gifts to unwrap, adults and kids alike?
I seem to be reading a lot of posts like this lately...

When I was growing up my grandparents gave their adult children and grandchildren gifts. We made our parents gifts and may parents exchanged gifts. My parents bought the grandparents gifts.

As we got older my grandparents gave the adult children and grandchildren gifts.

DH and I have exchanged gifts since we were dating.

Christmas is not about opening gifts but about showing others how much they mean to you everyday.

I feel sorry that you feel this way.

 

[snowywhite89]

I understand the meaning of gift giving and no, I don't think Christmas is just for kids.
I don't get wrapping up stuff you already own just so your kids see you open up something. If no gift was bought or made, for whatever reason, nothing was opened and it wasn't a big deal. Once the kids were in school during those lean years, we had their wonderful hand crafted gifts to open and they were plenty.

The last couple of years I've noticed on this board and others, parents being worried because they and/or their spouse had nothing (or not a lot) to open up in front of their kids. I don't remember that ever being a worry for us.
I just remember being worried about getting the kids something they really wanted.

Who wraps up stuff they already owns? We wrap up gifts that we bought for the other person.