Help! I need the "Idiots Guide for Parents of Rainbow Girls"!

[mom22belles]

Ladies... lesson learned right. We can not undo the past.

Mom yes you disappointed your daughter.

Daughter you learned Mom is human and makes mistakes.

Mom maybe help your daughter come up with a rating system in regards to the degree of importance. ie... a+++ events and b--- events.

Daughter learn to pull Mom aside , look her into her eyes ( so you each know you are listening) and say with strong clear words ( no yelling) "Mom this is an very important event in my life can you please come"

Mom there will be many more of these events for Rainbow girls it seem to me the our friends Daughter had one every few months.

Oh and don't wear black to these events. I did once much to the embarssement of our friends daughter . She actually stood up to say sorry to everyone that I wore black and didn't know. To this day I still not shre why black is such a no no !

Nancy

P.S. Daughter, your Mom more than likely yelled because she was upset with herself because she disappointed you. Misplaced angry.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

My rule is that if my kids are involved in it, I show up if at all possible. That goes double if it's an event such as a ceremony or what have you (even if I don't understand the ceremony at all). And triple if my kid ASKS me to be there. I honestly can't see why you think you didn't know enough about the organization to decide to show up. She's your daughter. Isn't that enough of a reason to be there and support her?

 

[Darcy03231]

Former RG here. Installation is always a big deal. Not only is the new Worthy Advisor installed, a whole new slate of girls are installed to different positions (Assistant Worthy Advisor, Faith, Hope, Charity, the seven stations for the rainbow colors, drill leader, recorder, treasurer, choir & pages). Installation, at least when I attended, happed three times a year. It was always a pretty formal event with all the girls in gowns and there were some sort of party/refreshments afterward, put on by the Worthy Advisor's family. Since it was her first one your DD might not have been able to explain it to you very well so you didn't understand how important it is.

 

[pjlla]

EDIT: this is dd on moms account...whoopsie!

Daughter learn to pull Mom aside , look her into her eyes ( so you each know you are listening) and say with strong clear words ( no yelling) "Mom this is an very important event in my life can you please come"
.

The thing is, I did tell her the importance of this event.

New rule.

??

Former RG here. Installation is always a big deal. Not only is the new Worthy Advisor installed, a whole new slate of girls are installed to different positions (Assistant Worthy Advisor, Faith, Hope, Charity, the seven stations for the rainbow colors, drill leader, recorder, treasurer, choir & pages). Installation, at least when I attended, happed three times a year. It was always a pretty formal event with all the girls in gowns and there were some sort of party/refreshments afterward, put on by the Worthy Advisor's family.

yup.

 

[mthr2boys]

Hi! I am so sorry this happened like it did

I am a former Rainbow Girl and I was even the Mother Advisor of our Assembly in my 20's, I am now 42.

Rainbow is a wonderful organization that I have carried thru my life, the memorization, community service, public speaking, and most importantly the teachings of it was great! I made many friends over my years that I was involved in it.

If you are coming from a non-masonic background I can see that alot of this (at first) will be hard to understand. That I know of there are no official rulebooks. What we always told the girls back then is to come out and get involved, the more you are involved the more you will understand and the more fun you will have!

Our Assembly would also designate an "older sister" to someone when they were initiated, they would be the person the young girl or her family could look to with any questions or concerns, the older sister was to call and make sure the newer one knew what was going on and what was involved. That seemed to help out.

I am sorry for the misunderstanding, but like anything the more your daughter is in this organization the more you will understand and know what is important and maybe what is not as important.....just like life....you learn as you go along!

Good luck with this!
Bev

 

[piglet too]

OP ~ As a former Rainbow girl whose parents seldom went to anything, let me try and help. As you now know, Installation is very important and is a "not miss." Another "not miss" event will be Official Visit. As for pants vs dress, I believe pants are fine at all "regular" meetings but a dress is suggested at anything else. It is easier to just never cross your legs at meetings, that was the rule for us. Anything else you are unsure of, the Mother Advisor should be able to help with. If you are still unsure after talking to her, and any other members of the Advisory Board, contact your Grand Deputy. http://www.nhrainbow.org/granddep.htm This is a link for Rainbow in your state, hope it helps.

To the daughter ~ It is hard to be the only one there without family. I know that, and understand the pain. Your Mother Advisor, or another adult, should make sure that you still feel special. At my assembly, we did a rose ceremony for moms at Installation. There was always an adult who made sure I had her to give the flower to so I did not feel so left out. Talk to your MA about your feelings this weekend. There will be times that your mom just can't be there. Please know that she still loves you, and don't let her not being there take away from the specialness of Rainbow.

 

[Evil Genius]

I too am a former Rainbow girl. (Sorry it has nothing to do with gay youth) Anyway, installation is a very big deal. To miss your daughters first one is kind of sad. Can I just say that you really need to educate yourself about the organization? Not knowing what your child is doing and not knowing how you can relate to her with the excitement of being part of this organization is letting her down in my opinion. My dad had your attitude about my years in Rainbow and it still stings.

 

[ginna74]

I have never heard of rainbow girls but I was in the jobs daughters for a short time and my father is a Mason and a shriner. I don't know if I am the person to ask though as I think all of the organizations are kind of iffy to me lol. BUt I will tell you what I know. The instalations are important and the people invite realatives and all people inportant to go as they are usually open to the public, but the meetings are usually closed (except to the younger organizations where the parents can go). They practice for a long time to put on a shpeel for them and are proud of themselves. usually there is a dinner and little tokens are given away. If it is a REALLLY big important gathering people will visit from all over the state and stay the night for these grand ole gatherings. and if it is REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLY you got to go visit with people from all over the UNITED STATES. My family traveled all over the state and stayed at peoples houses, and hotels, and sometimes people stayed at their houses. They ALWAYS wore dresses, some times moderate in fancy and sometimes in ball room type of fancy. Although they traveled in normal clothes but when they (and me as a kid) went to a gathering it was in a dress. ALWAYS in a dress. REMEMBER ALWAYS IN A DRESS ( or a skirt). My aunt and grandma were in eastern star. They were always making some sort of little trinkets to give away at the dinners or lunchens for the gatherings as well. I am trying to think of more... lol I know that if she tells you she needs you to be here.... and lets says it is an official thing you should wear a skirt... if it is to help make the lunch then no skirt...

 

[pjlla]

First of all, thanks to EVERYONE who took the time to respond. Once again I will say.... YES, I know I screwed up, YES, I know I let DD down.

I will be making time in my schedule from now on to attend her weekly meetings (whenever possible) in an effort to start understanding all of this stuff. I did attend last night's meeting... it didn't help much, but I'm sure as time goes on it will. I didn't realize when I allowed her to join that it was going to take so much of my time (not sure why I didn't realize it... everything ELSE that the kids do takes tons of my time, so why not this ). And apparently I messed up again last night when I sat with my legs crossed while the Bible was open....

But understand, I can't always attend these things... I have an 11 y/o DS who would have NO patience for sitting through one of these meetings and DH is away frequently for work during the week. Nearest family is about 2 hours away, so I can't send him to Grammy's for the evening. DD is also on a swim team that takes most every other evening of the week, plus most weekends through the winter. As much as I LOVE my kids, I cannot attend every minute of everything they do.

Thanks to those of you who seemed to understand my frustration and grief at disappointing my DD. Thanks to those of you who offered helpful suggestions. Thanks to those of you willing to see both sides of our situation. I appreciate my Disboard friends making an effort to help me understand. And this is for DD, who I am SURE will be reading this later today..... ......................P

 

[mjkacmom]

First of all, thanks to EVERYONE who took the time to respond. Once again I will say.... YES, I know I screwed up, YES, I know I let DD down.

I will be making time in my schedule from now on to attend her weekly meetings (whenever possible) in an effort to start understanding all of this stuff. I did attend last night's meeting... it didn't help much, but I'm sure as time goes on it will. I didn't realize when I allowed her to join that it was going to take so much of my time (not sure why I didn't realize it... everything ELSE that the kids do takes tons of my time, so why not this ). And apparently I messed up again last night when I sat with my legs crossed while the Bible was open....

But understand, I can't always attend these things... I have an 11 y/o DS who would have NO patience for sitting through one of these meetings and DH is away frequently for work during the week. Nearest family is about 2 hours away, so I can't send him to Grammy's for the evening. DD is also on a swim team that takes most every other evening of the week, plus most weekends through the winter. As much as I LOVE my kids, I cannot attend every minute of everything they do.

Thanks to those of you who seemed to understand my frustration and grief at disappointing my DD. Thanks to those of you who offered helpful suggestions. Thanks to those of you willing to see both sides of our situation. I appreciate my Disboard friends making an effort to help me understand. And this is for DD, who I am SURE will be reading this later today..... ......................P

I'm sure you'll attend the next installation. As a former rainbow girl, I can tell you my parents never attended a meeting (I don't think it was allowed, but if it was, there were absolutely no parents there). I've never attended a boyscout meeting, brownie meeting, girlscout meeting, etc., and don't know why I would? I attend games, recitals, plays, musicales, etc.

 

[Darcy03231]

My parent never attended the weekly meetings (ours were every other week). At the time unless they were in the Masons or Eastern Star the meetings were closed. The only thing they ever went to was the Installations. If you don't have time I wouldn't worry about attending the weekly meetings.

Other potential big deals are: Grand Assembly (statewide meeting) held once a year and it used to be in the spring (May) in Concord, NH. Its a whole weekend event with a banquet and installation of the state officers. If she continues with Rainbow at some point she may be picked for a state position.

Supreme Assembly - meeting for the whole country. Its held all over the country. When I was in one was held in Philadephia and I was able to go.

 

[piglet too]

Another chiming in on the weekly meetings. Mine were twice a month, and most parents did not attend those. You should be able to find out all important dates for the term, and just try for those. Also must agree with the Grand Assembly (as well as Supreme) being a big deal, especially if she gets a state appointment.

 

[ginna74]

well if she gets the statewide thing you can expect her to be gone a few weekends unless the state functions is in or near your city. otherwise she will stay at another girls house or a hotel. multi people from all over state will come into one big thing and it will be a great big whoop de da. she will need as I said lots of dresses... always needing dresses lol. I never heard of the bible leg crossing rule???? wow I missed that one. OHHHHHH she can travel lots and not be a part of the state wide thing too. We traveled all over the state to go to other cities instalations orrrrrr INITIATIONS.... and would stay like I said at peoples houses or sometimes not a lot at hotels. I was initiated by the grand people and I guess that was a bigggggg thing. lots of people came from all over the state and huge slumber party at the masonic temple and first time watching nightmare on elm street LOL. I was 11

 

[PatsMom]

My mom never attended my weekly meetings - we were not a Masonic family and at the time only Masons, Eastern Star, Rainbow members and majority members could attend meetings. Installations were "open" but my parents still did not come. When I was installed as Worthy Advisor I told my mother that it was a big deal and she came to that one. Other than that, I never felt odd that I didn't have a parent there. Lots of others didn't either.

 

[ginna74]

it is so wierd for me that is that I never heard of rainbow girls. only Jobs daughters (girls 11 to like 21?), demolay (boys like 11 or 13 to like 21), eastern star, mason, and the shriners. I thought I knew it all. Guess I am not a know it all ..... lolol

 

[alissa2008]

I think, for the future, you should consider that maybe if your daughter says something is important to her (no matter how trivial it might sound to you), that it IS important to her. Remember, it's only going to be a matter of years before she gets to a point where she doesn't want you around.

Sorry I have no insight about RG, maybe call one of the other mothers? Or another mason? I know in Boy/Girl Scouts, they have group leaders -- do they have one of those you could call for the protocol?

 

[OctMtnWoods]

Never heard of this at all. Even after reading this thread, I haven't learned much about it. Sounds a lot like a secret society, especially if non-members aren't allowed to attend meetings. I think I would want to know as much about this group and what goes on before I would allow my child to join. All sounds a bit weird to me.

 

[MelessaG]

My parents missed my first and second installations (Dad was working, mom could either take the three year-old sister OR stay home with her-I agreed with the stay home plan). I lived. I would have liked them there, but it didn't happen. I was a Rainbow Girl from ages 14-20, they were at most of them. Most importantly, they were at both of my Worthy Advisor installations (that's right, I did it twice.) At first, they didn't think that they could come to meetings because they were non-Masonic, but even when they knew otherwise they rarely did.

In fact, I can't even remember if they were at the Grand Assembly when I served as Grand Love, but I think they were because I know they were at the Majority ceremony.

I guess my point is, my parents loved me and were involved in my life, but I also had two other sisters. They did more when my younger sister got involved in it, but even then they couldn't always be there and in the end, it was all OK.

 

[aprilgail2]

Never heard of this at all. Even after reading this thread, I haven't learned much about it. Sounds a lot like a secret society, especially if non-members aren't allowed to attend meetings. I think I would want to know as much about this group and what goes on before I would allow my child to join. All sounds a bit weird to me.

It does sound VERY odd-- no crossing your legs, wearing only skirts---sounds like it is very sexist and no way would I let my daughter join something like this!

 

[mjkacmom]

It does sound VERY odd-- no crossing your legs, wearing only skirts---sounds like it is very sexist and no way would I let my daughter join something like this!

It really isn't - the equivalent boy group has to wear suits, I believe. It this day and age, it's nice for girls to wear dresses, instead of skin tight tshirts and jeans. It an old organization that many don't know about, because it's a masonic organization, so unless you come from a masonic family, or have friends in it, you wouldn't know about it. It helped me tremendously with memorization, public speaking, and leadership. It focuses heavily on community service. Visiting nursing homes, soup kitchens, raising money for charities...