HELP - hubby can't go on trip

[helens042266]

Just a little background......
DH was laid off from great job 4 years ago. Has been working out of a labor hall for the last 4 years (construction laborer). Hasn't been bad, but work IS NOT steady. I work full-time (7th grade teacher) and we are able to cover all bills because we live cheap!

He is being offered a full-time job at a steel plant. Rotating shifts, but FULL-TIME!! He will make about $20,000 more a year than he has made in the last 4 years. Although we cover the bills, it would be great to have the extra cash now the kids are getting older and more expensive. Rotating shifts means he will not see the kids as much and will miss out on a lot of family time, which is very important to us...more important than money.

The problem?? (finally!) He will not be able to go on our 2 week trip in June if he takes the job. They will just not let him off. I am devestated! If we cancel the trip we lose the money we have paid for the time-shares (about $800.00).

I am freaked because if I go, I have to take 3 kids DS(16), DS (11) DD(9) to disney alone. I have to drive for 2 day myself (my 16 year old won't have DL and I wouldn't let him drive even if he did due to inexperience), do everything on my own. I do a lot of things with the kids by myself, but a two week trip is a big deal all by myself. I know there are a lot of single parents out there -- how is it handling everything solo??

My husband is thinking about NOT taking the job because of missing the trip (and the rotating shifts). We haven't had a family vacation since our last trip to DW in 2002. We have been planning for a YEAR!

Any suggestions?? Should we go? Should we cancel? Can I do it alone?? Just some words of encouragement would help!!

 

[PlutoPony]

With the rotating shifts, how many days would he have off in a row duriing the planned 2 week trip? Could he fly down for those days and join you for at least a little while? Any chance you and the kids could get cheap airfare and avoid the drive? Couple of years ago I started driving on longer trips with just DS (since DH didn't have much vacation it allowed me to visit my aging mother more often) and found it wasn't nearly as bad as I anticipated - had myself very concerned about whether I could do it and it was fine. Just having someone else in the car to talk was a big help, even if it was a 10 year old . I'd hate to see you all turn down a good job just because of this one vacation - yeah it's a disappointment but look at the big picture and you really don't know when another good job opportunity will come up. That said, I understand the concern about rotating shifts - but I think it would be worth a try to make this job work and continue looking just in case it doesn't. Good luck and hopefully you can make the vacation and job work out!

 

[Alex2kMommy]

Another option if you want to take the job and still take the vacation without DH: Do you have a family member or friend who would want to go with you? I too would be intimidated at the idea of doing it all with just one grown-up! But it would still be fun to go with a friend to help share the responsibilities, costs, and FUN!

 

[helens042266]

Thanks for the answers! I have thought about taking my sister who lives in California since I never get to see her(I am in Illinois), so that is one option. I did mention to my husband that he could fly down for a short trip while we are there and I think we might look into that. I am just so upset because we have planned for soooooo long and (you other obsessed disney people can relate) it is all I have thought about since we book our condos! I am a totally independent, self-reliant person in every other aspect of my life, but a trip alone with the kids is FREAKING me out!!

This would also be the longest my husband and would be apart since we have known eachother (20 years!) HUMMMMMMMMM......that might be a good thing

 

[daisyduck123]

I would go w/o DH & take my kids and mine are only 11 & "just turned 8 last week". Yours seem old enough that you should be able to do it. I definitely would not cancel.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

THe kids are big enough to be a help. Three toddlers i wouldn't do.

Maybe find and make reservations ahead of time for hotel on way down and way back.
Think of it as two one day drives each way!

A good job is harder and harder to find and keep. It will make possible many more future vacations. $800 wouldn't be that much to lose if the descision was against going.

 

[fournuts]

Go on the vacation. I being a father would understand and WANT my wife and kids to go and still have a good time and not stay home and miss the fun because of my job. I know it stinks to not have him there but you need a vacation also and your kids are old enough that you dont have to "baby sit" them.

Secondly, TAKE the job. As someone else posted its harder to find good jobs now and you need to put that extra $ away for retirement. After a short time if some bill comes up that you werent ready for (Car, A/C, etc) you will really wish he took the job so that the money would not be an issue.

Hope this helps.

 

[MichelleVW]

I'd miss him, but I'd go for sure. I was a single mom for a long time and my first two trips to Disney were just me and the girls (8 and 10 first trip, then 10 and 12 the next trip). We drove down and I didn't have any worries.

You can do it...going to Disney with 3 toddlers alone...No way would I try that...but your kids are plenty old enough that it shouldn't be hard.

No way would I cancel the trip, if you were worried about going alone I'd see if a friend or family member could go with you...but as it is, with you and 3 kids you have an even number for the rides.


He needs to take the job for sure...good jobs are few and far between.

 

[MOMOFMNM]

if it helps any

I drove to Myrtle Beach (20 hours one way) by myself with my kids without dh...the only problem was the way my van looked after the trip get some cd players and DVD's and the kids will be cool I am sure esp if you stop at hotels w pools...


I would look into him flying down for a few days...at least!! Allegiant flies out of Rockford Ill if that is close to you...or chicago has cheap flights...

I am soooo sorry this stinks for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

800 is a lot to loose I would go anyway just because 800 is too much to let go....

go and two weeks is enough time to do WDW at a slow pace and your oldest can at least help with the younger kids....

Please let us know how it goes!!

 

[helens042266]

You guys are great!! I am definitely going on the trip - hubby or not! I know he would not want the kids to be disappointed and if the job is as good as it looks, we will be able to afford to go to DW more than once every 4 years!!

I know we will still have a great time...it is disney after all. I guess I just have to get it in my mind that it is a different trip than I originally planned. This will give my 16 year old a chance to show me how mature and responsible he has become and what a great help he can be....

Wish I Lived in FL - thanks for the tip about booking a hotel ahead! I kinda was thinking we would just stop when I was tired of driving, but I think I better plan better than that. Half way would be around Atlanta and I don't want to spend hours trying to find a decent hotel. If I recall, it was quite the experience driving through Atlanta.....I have memories of hours of traffic....uggg.

Thanks again everyone. I am feeling a litte better about the whole mess...I mean I still get to go...my DH is the one who should be more upset!!

Helen

 

[Lovemy3babes]

I hope it ends up being fine. I'm sure it will! My dh is starting to work an opposite shift soon. He won't be able to go on our trip either. I have three kiddos; 5, 6 & 2. No way will I attempt it alone so I'm asking my mom, sister and her 2-year old son to tag along. Hopefully it'll be fun!

 

[kimmikayb]

First, let me tell you I understand the range of emotions you must be going through! And it's heartbreaking your DH can't come, but I'd still go if I were you.

Stop when you get tired. Have a DVD player in the car. Take breaks. Your kids are old enough to do this. Enjoy this time, it will be a special mom/kid time.

I live in Iowa...I could just hop over and go with you!

Oh, and if you don't have it....get AAA or some auto service incase you have problems on the road!

 

[Ctsplaysinrain]

Do it alone!! My boys are 8 and 10 and for the last 3 summers, I have driven with them cross-country AZ to VA and back.. We are gone about 4-6 weeks... Some of our best "bonding times.".. Also, both my boys have some issues-one has Aspergers/ ADHD, the other ADHHHHHHHHHHD. There are a few moments but overall I have started to look forward to our "yearly" adventures..... PLUS, your kids are not little, you will do fine!!!!

 

[mjmcca]

I would say do it alone. I have gone without hubby plenty of times he hates Disney. My kids are 5 and almost 4. I have taken them and 2 other little ones to SW by myself. No problems. I took them when they were younger with My hubby cousin who lives with us. She was a pain in the tail and she is an adult. It was much easier to take them kids by myself.