Help! Am I being waayyy over-cautious?

[tinkntraining]

Please tell me I am not the only mom who does this -- Parents do their best to keep viruses, colds, infections away prior to a big trip. Is this that much different?

We are 3 weeks away from our very first trip to Disney. I am the full-time caregiver for my mom, who has dementia. My siblings (who all work fulltime) have arranged their schedules to take care of Mom for that week. I cannot begin to tell you how much we are all looking forward to this trip!

Here's the problem: My 12-year-old DD is EXTREMELY accident-prone (2 dislocated knees, torn cartiledge and 1 broken/dislocated thumb in 1 year). I'm always nervous that she's going to hurt herself, but with the upcoming "trip of a lifetime" right around the corner, I'm really nervous. When I say "accident-prone" I mean it! She has seriously injured herself doing very mundane, typical things (playing tetherball, running, etc). I am scared to death that in the next 3 weeks, she's going to break/dislocate something which could seriously hamper our trip. Little League softball just started, and she's been working on exercises to strengthen her knees. Not letting her join the team was NOT an option. She's been waiting for softball for 6 months. So, she's on the team, playing 3 games a week....if she injures herself playing softball, we'll deal with it -- it's too important to not let her play. But.....
Am I crazy or way off-base to want to limit her physical activity other than softball until our trip? I know "kids will be kids", but with her prior history, she's at a greater risk. We would have no choice but to cancel our trip if she dislocates her knee again (she would be in a knee immobilizer (no bending) for 3-4 weeks. I'm not sure riding the rides would be much fun (or even possible) if her leg was sticking out in front, unable to be bent. Trying to work out scheduling with my siblings can be a nightmare! So -- you can see why I don't want to have to cancel a trip where my sibs have already scheduled vacation from work and beg them to shift their schedules for a different week, if it can be avoided.

My DH says I'm being ridiculous, but then, for the last 4 months, he hasn't poured blood, sweat and tears into trying to make this a trip of a lifetime, either. I guess what I'm looking for is validation that I'm not being unreasonable. For 3 weeks, is it really that big of a sacrifice on my DD to say, "softball and that's it!"

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

I'm not trying to disagree with you (I often worry about these things too!) but can't she dislocate her knee just as easily playing softball? I'd say that you just have to go with it...let her keep her normal schedule, keep your fingers crossed, and pray for the best

 

[meandtheguys2]

I hope your trip comes off well. We took care of my grandma.

I don't know about paranoid. I figured you were until I read your post.~~smile~~ Most people who ask are!

Take care, and good luck. Remind your daughter of what is at stake, and to be careful!

 

[tinkntraining]

I'm not trying to disagree with you (I often worry about these things too!) but can't she dislocate her knee just as easily playing softball? I'd say that you just have to go with it...let her keep her normal schedule, keep your fingers crossed, and pray for the best

Yes -- softball is a big worry, but can't be helped. I wasn't going to cancel a whole season that she was really looking forward to, based upon my fears of the unknown -- but, 3 weeks of being really careful doing everything else, that's do-able.

I'm definitely praying....and my fingers and toes are crossed.

 

[tinkntraining]

I hope your trip comes off well. We took care of my grandma.

I don't know about paranoid. I figured you were until I read your post.~~smile~~ Most people who ask are!

Take care, and good luck. Remind your daughter of what is at stake, and to be careful!

Thanks for your kind thoughts, Michelle. The funny thing is, my daughter is completely on-board with being extra cautious -- she is more excited about our trip than I am, (and is completely aware of how easily she gets injured) it's just my hubby who doesn't get it.

 

[Redbudlover]

I have to chuckle. I had a son like that who hurt himself all the time. Finally one summer I told him he had to stop doing it. His Dad and I had separated and I told him I could not afford to have him hurt himself and could not take care of him very well if he did. I was stunned - and am to this day - that he stopped getting hurt - at least for a few years. He says - and he is 31 now - that he remembers my telling him that and remembers starting to be a lot more careful. He just had not thought it was a big deal until then.....

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

Maybe you should look at it this way - shes gotten all her "bad boo-boos" out of the way already, and shes good to go from now on!!!

 

[james'mommy]

I'm super duper accident prone so I feel your pain. You can always rent an ecv if she has an oopsie before you go.

 

[tjmw2727]

I would just let her be - if it's going to happen it's going to happen after all. In reality nothing is likely to happen the % and chances are pretty slim. Besides IMHO its worse when your trying not to get hurt - kind of like murphy's law.

I would just make sure she has the proper equipment, does her stretching and other exercises to stay fit and healthy for her sports and hope for the best.

Good luck,

TJ

 

[Sunshein]

I tend to agree with tjmw2727. When you put this much stock in a vacation you take away from the joys of everyday life. I have been planning for 6 months to make our trip a huge success but this past week has put the whole thing in serious questiopn. My DH had a panic attack and he is prone to anxiety around travel. I was unbelievably frustrated at first to have our vacation seriously up in the air like that, but I have come to terms with it. In the end, my family is worth more than a trip anywhere. He seems to be recovering well and we have yet to actually cancel the trip and I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Your daughter is more likely to injure herself by "trying" to be careful. Just live your lives as normal and keep your fingers crossed. All that being said, please know that I completely understand your worry.

 

[5 for WDW]

I would just let her be - if it's going to happen it's going to happen after all. In reality nothing is likely to happen the % and chances are pretty slim. Besides IMHO its worse when your trying not to get hurt - kind of like murphy's law.

I would just make sure she has the proper equipment, does her stretching and other exercises to stay fit and healthy for her sports and hope for the best.

Good luck,

TJ

ITA.
I have an accident prone son. Broken ankle, sprained knee, he has crashed on his bike and scooter and scraped up his entire face quite a few times. He stumbled over a sidewalk last month and cut open his forehead and scraped up his entire face again. We have told him that he has met the pavement more times then we would like.
He is a very active kid. He also plays Little League. He is just an accident waiting to happen!!
So, I totally understand where you are coming from. I always resist the urge to hold him back from things just to try and prevent him from getting hurt. If he is going to get hurt, its going to happen.
Fingers crossed for you and your daughter. I hope she remains injury free for your trip and during your trip!!

 

[DisneyCrazyX5]

I understand you worries, but with me it is illnesses. After our first trip DS then age 5 spent 3 days in the hospital due to asmtha problems and got home just in time for Thanksgiving. We have had a trip since but I still worry the whole time about it happening again.
Sending good luck your way!!!!!

 

[DevilDuckie]

If you limit her other activity she's apt to fall down a flight of stairs or trip over her own feet. I don't mean to be all doom-ish, but a truly accident-prone person will hurt therself in ways you haven't even thought to protect her from. I would try to relax and just hope for the best.

 

[buckler]

It sounds like your daughter is on board with the idea of being more careful so let her do or not do what she thinks best. But don't push her one way or the other or stress her out. She'll feel SO terribly guilt ridden if she feels she "ruined the trip" for everyone. If she does hurt herself, give her a big hug, lots of kisses and smile and just say "We love you, we're a family and we'll deal with it. You're more important to me than any trip."

If your daughter does hurt herself, just reschedule. Sure it will be a major pain but your dealing with a parent with dementia so you must be getting good at dealing with unpredictable events by now. My father has advanced Alzheimer's so we're used to lots of surprise happenings and adapting. You have to learn to bend with the wind. If you do need to reschedule, your siblings will have to show some understanding and bend in the wind along with you!

I had to reschedule one of our trips to Disney 2 times due to a family illness (MIL was terminally ill). Each time I had to reschedule it was at the last minute and I felt stressed out (even more so, because my MIL was so sick on top of having to reschedule). I had to take a deep breath and I'd think of the scene from Cinderella when the mice sing "we can do it, we can do it" as they are making a dress for Cinderella. I know I can do anything if I have to. So replanning a trip isn't all that hard when you put your mind to it and stay positive. When we did finally get to go on our trip, it was such a healing experience after all the stress we had gone through. It was one of our best trips ever, despite just having lost a family member.


Keep a-busy Cinderelly!
We can do it, we can do it
We can help our Cinderelly
We can make her dress so pretty
There's nothing to it, really
We'll tie a sash around it
Put a ribbon through it
When dancing at the ball
She'll be more beautiful than all
In the lovely dress we'll make for Cinderelly

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry
Gonna help our Cinderelly
Got no time to dilly-dally
We gotta get a-goin'