Hello? Did you hear me?!

[coliebird]

Try the "three strikes and you're out" method..

You ask them once.. No response..

You then ask them to repeat what your request was back to you.. If they can repeat it, then you know they heard it..

You make the request again - quite firmly.. If there still is no response, it's the third strike and they're out.. Follow it up with some kind of consequence..
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Do this a number of times and pretty soon they'll get the message and respond the first time, rather than suffer the consequences of the thrid time..

I do this, but sometimes she just doesn't care about the consequences. She is a stubborn little child (unfortunately just like her mommy).

This morning I told her I was taking her to the doctor to have her hearing tested b/c she obviously cannot hear what I am telling her. That got her attention. She hates going to the doctor.

 

[RitaZ.]

This morning I told her I was taking her to the doctor to have her hearing tested b/c she obviously cannot hear what I am telling her. That got her attention. She hates going to the doctor.

I think I'll have to try that one!

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I HAD that problem, and now, life is GREAT. I say something ONCE and the kids move.

The trick?

We have a rewards system going in our house, and let me say, it is a WORLD of difference around here!


The kids earn special treats for keeping there X's down. If they do not get an X all day, they can stay up an hour past their bedtime. If they get 3 or less X's in a week they can pick a movie or go to the arcade for the afternoon on Sunday. NO X' all week wins them a trip to the Rainforest Cafe.

They get to stay up quite often, they have been to a couple of movies, but no trip to the Rainforest yet.

One of the things on the chart is mom or dad does not have to say things more than once.

 

[tiff211]

I HAD that problem, and now, life is GREAT. I say something ONCE and the kids move.

The trick?

We have a rewards system going in our house, and let me say, it is a WORLD of difference around here!


The kids earn special treats for keeping there X's down. If they do not get an X all day, they can stay up an hour past their bedtime. If they get 3 or less X's in a week they can pick a movie or go to the arcade for the afternoon on Sunday. NO X' all week wins them a trip to the Rainforest Cafe.

They get to stay up quite often, they have been to a couple of movies, but no trip to the Rainforest yet.

One of the things on the chart is mom or dad does not have to say things more than once.

I love it!! What are the ages of your children? I want to try it for DD's 5, 3 and 14.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I do this, but sometimes she just doesn't care about the consequences. She is a stubborn little child (unfortunately just like her mommy).

I used to deal with the kids using "consequence" and life around here was always hosyile. The yelling, the crying.....

My DS started seeing a phsycologist for anxiety, and it became a family therapy. The Dr got me to start using rewards instead of consequence, and it makes a huge difference. The kids actually work towards earning something, instead of having things taking away. The attitudes are happier, and the kids are THRILLED when they achieve the goal.

My DD is one who has nothing really near or dear to her, for me to take away. She never cared one way or another. But now, if her brother's are going to a movie, because they earned it, and she is staying home, she has to think about what she can do to go the next time.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I love it!! What are the ages of your children? I want to try it for DD's 5, 3 and 14.

My kids are 9, 7 and 5. They each have their own chart, with things on it appropriate for them. Of course, the 5 yo's chart does not look like the 7 yo's and hers does not look like the 9 yo's. I take what is the most problematic from each kid. I explain to them what is on each chart, and what behavior is expected from them. For instance, my DD is real good at yelling at me, and stomping her feet, a hissy-fit if you may. That is on the chart. I allow her to yell at me if she is not happy with an answer I gave her (usually a NO), but the minute the foot stomps, she gets an X. She gets sent to her room for yelling at me, but does not get an X. The foot stomp, or the throwing herself on the floor, gets an X.

I was raised with consequence, it was all I knew. Once I started this reward system, and shifted to positive, it is amazing how peaceful this household has become. Everyone seems much happier.