Have you ever gone to a function where you had to PAY for soda???

[disykat]

Note to self: Do Not Retire to Georgia

Or many other places in the US.

 

[sha_lyn]

Exactly! And there's the point that many here don't "get." Many of us want a gathering of loved ones, a church service, a social gathering. NOT a cocktail party.
Sure, maybe I'd be more interested in going to weddings of people I don't know if it were all about the food, music, and alcohol - who wouldn't? But I very strongly didn't want my wedding to be about the food, music, or alcohol.

I always wondered why my photographer commented that he'd never been to a wedding where everyone knew each other so well. My husband and I got married in my church - which was 400 miles from either of our families. I had met his parents and he had met mine, but neither of us had met some of each other's siblings until the day before the wedding - or aunts or uncles. Most of our friends had not met our families. Yet, it was a gathering of 150 loved ones joined together for one purpose. It wasn't a party.

 

[lillygator]

Note to self: Do Not Retire to Georgia

we serve alcohol at our kid's birhday's BUT, our parties are all adults for the most part, not the school class, etc.

 

[sha_lyn]

we serve alcohol at our kid's birhday's BUT, our parties are all adults for the most part, not the school class, etc.

Why would a kids party be all adults? Doesn't sound like fun at all for the kids, but jsut an excuse for the adults to have a party.

 

[U2_rocks!]

Exactly! And there's the point that many here don't "get." Many of us want a gathering of loved ones, a church service, a social gathering. NOT a cocktail party.

Sure, maybe I'd be more interested in going to weddings of people I don't know if it were all about the food, music, and alcohol - who wouldn't? But I very strongly didn't want my wedding to be about the food, music, or alcohol.

I always wondered why my photographer commented that he'd never been to a wedding where everyone knew each other so well. My husband and I got married in my church - which was 400 miles from either of our families. I had met his parents and he had met mine, but neither of us had met some of each other's siblings until the day before the wedding - or aunts or uncles. Most of our friends had not met our families. Yet, it was a gathering of 150 loved ones joined together for one purpose. It wasn't a party.

If this is what you want for your wedding, then it's what you should have. I'd never presume to tell anyone what sort of celebration they should have. But it's still my prerogative to not be as excited about a simple social gathering as I am about a party. It doesn't mean I wouldn't go, and that I mightn't have a good time (if the crowd is a fun one, it might be great!) - just that, all things being equal, I'd rather the party, unless I was very close to the bride and/or groom. The fact that I now have to shell out babysitting money influences what social occasions I choose to go to (unless it's the type of wedding that welcomes kids), and sometimes the competition is too stiff for me to choose the less exciting "social gathering of distant relatives". I'll always appreciate being invited, however, and I'd never snicker and make fun of you behind your back for the type of party you are having, though I do know some people who would do that.

 

[lillygator]

Why would a kids party be all adults? Doesn't sound like fun at all for the kids, but jsut an excuse for the adults to have a party.

oh and no I don't use my princesses birthday's as an excuse to party, that is what St Patty's, Valentines, Super Bowl, Back to School, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Cinco De Mayo, Gator Games, etc are FOR!! D'uh!

all their family is adults, grandma, grandad, aunt, etc...and the party is fun for them, it's all about them! We take them to WDW for thier birthday too. There are a handful of kids, now, since some of our friends have children, but it works for us and of the kids birthday parties I have been to parks, Chuck e Cheese, etc...when all the kids want to touch the cake, get into the birthday person's presents...etc...are no fun!

 

[disykat]

(unless it's the type of wedding that welcomes kids

In general, these kinds of weddings welcome kids - though they may have a cry room or nursery available - just like any church service. It's all about the wedding ceremony - not really about the socializing afterwards.

It would be EXPECTED that people who weren't interested in the service declined to come. I wouldn't have been upset at all if someone who didn't know me didn't want to come. I would have been highly offended if I thought someone was coming to sit through the ceremony in hopes that I'd throw a good party to make up for it.

It's a whole different mindset. I didn't have a party! It never even occured to me that I should. I had a ceremony.

 

[sha_lyn]

In general, these kinds of weddings welcome kids - though they may have a cry room or nursery available - just like any church service. It's all about the wedding ceremony - not really about the socializing afterwards.
It would be EXPECTED that people who weren't interested in the service declined to come. I wouldn't have been upset at all if someone who didn't know me didn't want to come. I would have been highly offended if I thought someone was coming to sit through the ceremony in hopes that I'd throw a good party to make up for it.

It's a whole different mindset. I didn't have a party!

Yep...I never even heard about wedding that didn't allow kids until the DIS.

 

[sha_lyn]

oh and no I don't use my princesses birthday's as an excuse to party, that is what St Patty's, Valentines, Super Bowl, Back to School, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Cinco De Mayo, Gator Games, etc are FOR!! D'uh!

all their family is adults, grandma, grandad, aunt, etc...and the party is fun for them, it's all about them! We take them to WDW for thier birthday too. There are a handful of kids, now, since some of our friends have children, but it works for us and of the kids birthday parties I have been to parks, Chuck e Cheese, etc...when all the kids want to touch the cake, get into the birthday person's presents...etc...are no fun!

Not fun for the kids, or not fun for the adults?
IMHO a kids birthday party is about the kids having fun. Yes it is work for the adults, but who cares. It is about making that 1 day a yr special for the child.

And no I am not talking about $400 parties here. Heck DD and I have decided that this yr we are just asking her friends to meet us at the park for brownies and playing. Requesting no presents, but might request a donation of some sort (canned food, can of pet food etc)for the food bank or animal shelter.

Total cost.... about $5 to make the brownies and a $1 or 2 for napkins and plates


ETA: I'm not saying that family parties aren't/can't be fun. It is just that typically around here once the kid is old enough to go to preK or playgroups, the parties switch from family to friends.

 

[lillygator]

Not fun for the kids, or not fun for the adults?
IMHO a kids birthday party is about the kids having fun. Yes it is work for the adults, but who cares. It is about making that 1 day a yr special for the child.

And no I am not talking about $400 parties here. Heck DD and I have decided that this yr we are just asking her friends to meet us at the park for brownies and playing. Requesting no presents, but might request a donation of some sort (canned food, can of pet food etc)for the food bank or animal shelter.

Total cost.... about $5 to make the brownies and a $1 or 2 for napkins and plates


ETA: I'm not saying that family parties aren't/can't be fun. It is just that typically around here once the kid is old enough to go to preK or playgroups, the parties switch from family to friends.

my eldest's bday is Halloween...everyone dresses up, she picks out what games she wants everyone to play, etc..the whole day is about her....same when we go to Disney for her.
The kids parties we have been too, didn't seem much fun for the kids...all the kisd were arguing over who got the best toy, then they wanted to play with the toys, then arguing over who got a flower etc on the cake, Personally most of the ones we have been to haven;t been about the birthday child at all...more for the parents to make a statement with the venue, goodie bags, etc.

also, my girls are 5 and 3....(soon to be 6) so I am sure this will change as they get older, but who knows.

 

[MontanaZoo]

Not fun for the kids, or not fun for the adults?
IMHO a kids birthday party is about the kids having fun. Yes it is work for the adults, but who cares. It is about making that 1 day a yr special for the child.

And no I am not talking about $400 parties here. Heck DD and I have decided that this yr we are just asking her friends to meet us at the park for brownies and playing. Requesting no presents, but might request a donation of some sort (canned food, can of pet food etc)for the food bank or animal shelter.

Total cost.... about $5 to make the brownies and a $1 or 2 for napkins and plates


ETA: I'm not saying that family parties aren't/can't be fun. It is just that typically around here once the kid is old enough to go to preK or playgroups, the parties switch from family to friends.

Growing up, we actually had both. We'd have a family party with our relatives (and that was really for my grandma to see her family get together and was more for the adults), and then sometimes, but not every year, we'd have a kids party with our friends. Now the kid party is a MUCH bigger deal, it's basically seems like a required thing...much bigger deal means having one just for kids and having it themed and/or at a location. My friend's daughter has a party to go to just about every weekend.

 

[Par8hed]

oh and no I don't use my princesses birthday's as an excuse to party, that is what St Patty's, Valentines, Super Bowl, Back to School, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Cinco De Mayo, Gator Games, etc are FOR!! D'uh!

all their family is adults, grandma, grandad, aunt, etc...and the party is fun for them, it's all about them! We take them to WDW for thier birthday too. There are a handful of kids, now, since some of our friends have children, but it works for us and of the kids birthday parties I have been to parks, Chuck e Cheese, etc...when all the kids want to touch the cake, get into the birthday person's presents...etc...are no fun!

And Chuck E Cheese has beer and wine!

 

[sha_lyn]

Growing up, we actually had both. We'd have a family party with our relatives (and that was really for my grandma to see her family get together and was more for the adults), and then sometimes, but not every year, we'd have a kids party with our friends. Now the kid party is a MUCH bigger deal, it's basically seems like a required thing...much bigger deal means having one just for kids and having it themed and/or at a location. My friend's daughter has a party to go to just about every weekend.

My birthday and my grandfather's birthday were 4 days aprt. We really didn't have family parties for me once I had kids parties. We did have a family dinner (usually on Sunday) with a shared birthday cake and opening of presents. However I wouldn't call it a party.

 

[U2_rocks!]

In general, these kinds of weddings welcome kids - though they may have a cry room or nursery available - just like any church service. It's all about the wedding ceremony - not really about the socializing afterwards.

It would be EXPECTED that people who weren't interested in the service declined to come. I wouldn't have been upset at all if someone who didn't know me didn't want to come. I would have been highly offended if I thought someone was coming to sit through the ceremony in hopes that I'd throw a good party to make up for it.

It's a whole different mindset. I didn't have a party! It never even occured to me that I should. I had a ceremony.

Around here the wedding is usually at 4 or 5 p.m. at a church, or sometimes at the reception place itself if they don't want a church wedding. Then it's cocktails and drinks. Many people have buffet stations with semi-heavy food that you can eat while standing if you don't want to sit down. Heavy cocktail eats are passed around too. It's plenty of food - it's just not a sit-down meal as such. There's a cake cutting ceremony, dancing, garter and bouquet throwing etc. It usually lasts until midnight, with all the traditional dancing songs getting trotted out! I'll never forget watching my parents do the chicken dance! It's also formal evening dress. Kids do come sometimes, but the timing is usually bad for the younger ones (it gets dark here before 7 year-round, so kids tend to be on a schedule of early to bed, early to rise). But many a wedding here has had kids dancing and having a great time, and that's so cute to watch!

Around here there's a ceremony AND a party - not one or the other.

 

[sha_lyn]

Most weddings around here are sometime between 11am and 1pm, although things are changing with the influx of those from out of state. The last 2 (or actually I think they were the 2 of the last, the 3rd was right around the same time frame) weddings I have attend were the only ones here in GA to be in the evening, to serve alcohol, or to serve a full meal. That 3rd wedding was a traditional wedding for the area. Very similar to the traditional SB weddings around here, but was actually at an independent non denominational church.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

And Chuck E Cheese has beer and wine!

Well clearly the person who created Chuck E Cheese had to be drunk.

 

[aprilgail2]

Yep...I never even heard about wedding that didn't allow kids until the DIS.

Well the weddings themselves are different than the receptions- a couple doesn't have exclusive rights to a church when they are getting married, anyone can go but the receptions are where it is invite only and some don't allow kids. I just turn down the ones that don't invite kids- they are usually to "stuffY" for me anyway then!

 

[sha_lyn]

Well the weddings themselves are different than the receptions- a couple doesn't have exclusive rights to a church when they are getting married, anyone can go but the receptions are where it is invite only and some don't allow kids. I just turn down the ones that don't invite kids- they are usually to "stuffY" for me anyway then!

Here weddings are typically not different from the reception. Only been 1 one wedding here where the reception wasn't in the same place as the wedding.

As for the church....yes the couple reserves the church, and the church is private property. they could certainly ask uninvited people to leave. Why would anyone just show up at someones wedding uninvited anyway?
I guess it would be different depending on the Religion. What little I know of the Catholic church, it isn't uncommon for people to come and pray, come to confession etc at any time. Around here churches are usually locked up except for Sunday and Wed services unless it has been reserved for a wedding or funeral.

 

[MontanaZoo]

Well the weddings themselves are different than the receptions- a couple doesn't have exclusive rights to a church when they are getting married, anyone can go but the receptions are where it is invite only and some don't allow kids. I just turn down the ones that don't invite kids- they are usually to "stuffY" for me anyway then!

My cousin's wedding (and this isn't the norm but was cool) started with a dinner for just family and close friends in the church basement that was served by some close friends. My aunt and her friends are quilters so it had quilts hung all around the basement and a quilt theme and there was a slideshow, both the bride and groom attended in more casual clothes.

Then, they changed and we went upstairs to the ceremony. After that there was a venue change to a party venue where there was cake, dancing and a cash bar but free punch, champagne, beer, wine etc....I think I had to pay for a pop since it came from the bar.

The next day was a family and close friends only present opening party where we watched them open their gifts and pretty sure there was beer there since it was an afternoon bbq type of thing.

Then, since they had an exchange student from Germany that pretty much became part of the family and she came (and was in) the wedding, my cousin and her husband took a backpacking vacation for their honeymoon and took Wiebke with them.

 

[kimmikayb]

Here weddings are typically not different from the reception. Only been 1 one wedding here where the reception wasn't in the same place as the wedding.

As for the church....yes the couple reserves the church, and the church is private property. they could certainly ask uninvited people to leave. Why would anyone just show up at someones wedding uninvited anyway?I guess it would be different depending on the Religion. What little I know of the Catholic church, it isn't uncommon for people to come and pray, come to confession etc at any time. Around here churches are usually locked up except for Sunday and Wed services unless it has been reserved for a wedding or funeral.

For the cake of course