Have you ever been falsely accused of child abuse?

[DizBelle]

I was just reading a blog post about a mother who had some challenges getting her 3 year old in the car at the grocery store. She had just had surgery days prior and still couldn't lift her child but her child was insisting on being picked up and put in the car. Full blown temper tantrum. Mom eventually managed to pick the child up and put him in the car seat and buckle him in.

Later that evening, she got a visit from a social worker and 3 police officers saying that someone reported that she slapped her child. They eventually left saying that it was unfounded but they got another visit from a detective that same evening. Still unfounded.

 

[bjscheel]

No, but it's a good thing our old dentist knows us well. When DD15 was a toddler, she got her head stuck in a decorative opening in a piece of furniture at the babysitter's and got a big bruise on her forehead. The next day she fell on our stairs and knocked two teeth loose. We took her into the dentist right away and so when she got there she had a huge bruise, two teeth hanging loose and bleeding, and a dirty diaper. It didn't look good at all but fortunately he knew we hadn't beat her!

 

[kimblebee]

My daughter almost was accused of accusing a teacher at her school but it was totally a mix up. I don't remember how it started..I think she thougt a male teacher stood too close to her when he was talking..something like that. She told a 'friend' and the friend totally started spreading a rumour that the teacher had touched my daughter and got a whole bunch of kids to start calling the teacher a perv.

OMG it was such a nightmare. I was terrified that the teacher was going To get fired and investigated. Luckily, the principal was very level headed and knew the 'friend' and her reputation and also my daughter and her reputation. He met with me and my daughter and she explained the actual situation. There was no further investigation but the story stuck around for the rest of the school year. When it was school end, I met with the teacher and apologized profusely. Ugh..it was awful

 

[jiminyC_fan]

I was very lucky. I was babysitting my friends daughter. I can't remember her age, somewhere in the 3-5 year range. She told Grandma that I was sexually abusing her. Grandma believed it. Took it to mom and dad. Thankfully mom and dad didn't report it. I didn't hear about it till years later. Man, that could have been really, really bad.

Editing due to people judging the parents and perhaps me. The parents did in fact talk to the girl. They did talk to her older brother and they talked to Grandma. They didn't just brush it off. They are good Christian parents.

Re-edited to change "Christian parents" because I was told that can be misconstrued. When you read this just know they are "GOOD, DECENT, EXCELLENT, PEOPLE and PARENTS" that did follow through. I can't seem to win.

 

[lizabu]

I had someone call the children's aide society on me. My son was in the third grade and I let him walk one block to school. I could see him from the window. They said the person who called accused me of letting a 3 year old walk to school alone. They knew that was fishy because 3 year olds don't usually go to school. They talked to him alone and asked him how he feels about walking on his own. They were satisfied that he was happy and safe. My ex used to call the children's aid society on me too. He wanted custody but knew that he would never get it. So he thought maybe he could get CAS to take them away from me. He would say that my house is messy. They would show up and find my house immaculate and the kids happy and healthy and they would leave.

 

[aristocatz]

Yes, I was falsely accused when I was in my mid to late 20's & I was mortified. I was a home-based therapist working with a toddler with severe autism. Part of my work was to teach the child to adjust to community outings. We went to a pizza place & on the way in, the toddler had a severe tantrum. I had a very specific protocol I was following when the toddler engaged in this behavior. Most of the patrons walking by were sympathetic, offered to help, etc... (which honestly made the behavior escalate even more), but one older woman thought I was hurting the child. She couldn't see what was going on, but the child was screaming really loud. She started yelling at me to stay away from the child & that she was going to call the police. I was so freaked out that she was going to call the police, I scooped up the child, put him in his carseat & drove away. I called his mom crying. She felt terrible, as did I.

She ended up making some business cards for all of the child's therapists that we could give to strangers in the event of a tantrum that basically said the child has severe autism & we are working with him & thank you for your concern, but we are following specific protocols so to please let us do our jobs....I cannot recall exactly how it was worded, but that was the jist of it.

The whole experience was a real eye opener to the life of a parent of a child with severe special needs/behavioral issues & how others react to them.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Not by any agency but I've had other moms in a play group gossip about my son's bruises on his shins. The doctor told me it was normal from learning to walk and falling down so much. The kid was a clutz... They all had kids so knew what it from. They just wanted to be witches

 

[jiminyC_fan]

Yes, I was falsely accused when I was in my mid to late 20's & I was mortified. I was a home-based therapist working with a toddler with severe autism. Part of my work was to teach the child to adjust to community outings. We went to a pizza place & on the way in, the toddler had a severe tantrum. I had a very specific protocol I was following when the toddler engaged in this behavior. Most of the patrons walking by were sympathetic, offered to help, etc... (which honestly made the behavior escalate even more), but one older woman thought I was hurting the child. She couldn't see what was going on, but the child was screaming really loud. She started yelling at me to stay away from the child & that she was going to call the police. I was so freaked out that she was going to call the police, I scooped up the child, put him in his carseat & drove away. I called his mom crying. She felt terrible, as did I.

She ended up making some business cards for all of the child's therapists that we could give to strangers in the event of a tantrum that basically said the child has severe autism & we are working with him & thank you for your concern, but we are following specific protocols so to please let us do our jobs....I cannot recall exactly how it was worded, but that was the jist of it.

The whole experience was a real eye opener to the life of a parent of a child with severe special needs/behavioral issues & how others react to them.

I'm so sorry. I can relate. My grandson looks like a normal 11 year old but because of severe Epilepsy and now autism he has his moments. He is at a 3-4 year old level. They look normal so people don't understand.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

Speaking from the social worker side of it, we unsubstantiate many more assessments than we substantiate. The lines are clogged with BS allegations. We understand accidents happen, and there are overzealous people who feel the need to report things that are just silly. Also, it makes us so angry when people use us (what is popularly referred to as CPS) to try to get an upper hand in custody battles. Of course we cannot discourage anybody from reporting anything. Don't get me wrong, there are many, many children who are truly in danger and are abused, we will do what it takes to keep them safe. It is just frustrating when we waste our time on nonsense when we could be focusing on those truly in need.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I was very lucky. I was babysitting my friends daughter. I can't remember her age, somewhere in the 3-5 year range. She told Grandma that I was sexually abusing her. Grandma believed it. Took it to mom and dad. Thankfully mom and dad didn't report it. I didn't hear about it till years later. Man, that could have been really, really bad.

So, parents were informed that their preschooler was being sexually abused and they... just dropped it?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

FALSELY?

 

[jiminyC_fan]

So, parents were informed that their preschooler was being sexually abused and they... just dropped it?

WOW just WOW. We had been friends for years. Yes they dropped it. I was/am innocent. They knew it. Grandma didn't know me at the time .

Now I'm even sorry I brought it up. I feel dirty, cheap and judged.

 

[Magpie]

I was going to say no (other than the occasional hairy eyeball, which every parent gets), but I actually did once have a woman outright accuse me of abusing my child! I almost forgot about her, because she was just so mind-bogglingly stupid. My daughter (4) and I were purchasing fries from the chip truck, when a woman standing behind us said, "Oh, no! What's that on her FACE?" I normally would let my daughter handle questions about that, but her tone put me on edge so I just said, "It's a birthmark."

She scoffed and said, "As IF!"

Well, the child's right there, staring at her. So I said, again, "It's just a birthmark, she was born with it." And my daughter said, "It's a strawberry haemangioma!" jamming her finger right into the middle of it (which always demonstrated very clearly that it wasn't painful).

"You DID something to her!" said the woman. "What did you do to that child?"

Well, at that point our fries had arrived, so I grabbed the bag, took my daughter by the hand, and said, pointedly, "Come on honey, we don't talk to STUPID people!" And we walked away (pushing the stroller with her baby brother).

I was spittin' mad, but I wasn't going to make any more of it with my kids right there.

 

[aristocatz]

I'm so sorry. I can relate. My grandson looks like a normal 11 year old but because of severe Epilepsy and now autism he has his moments. He is at a 3-4 year old level. They look normal so people don't understand.

Thank you. In hindsight though, it was a huge learning opportunity to spend a moment into the shoes of the families I work with.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

WOW just WOW. We had been friends for years. Yes they dropped it. I was/am innocent. They knew it. Grandma didn't know me at the time .

Now I'm even sorry I brought it up. I feel dirty, cheap and judged.

I wasn't judging you, I was judging the parents. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around parents ignoring an accusation like that. Did they ask the child about it? Did they keep taking you up on babysitting offers without telling you what kind of things the child had said about you? Grandma never cared to follow up? It's unsettling to think they'd just carry on like everything's normal after a bombshell like that.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

I wasn't judging you, I was judging the parents. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around parents ignoring an accusation like that. Did they ask the child about it? Did they keep taking you up on babysitting offers without telling you what kind of things the child had said about you? Grandma never cared to follow up? It's unsettling to think they'd just carry on like everything's normal after a bombshell like that.

I do feel judged. Of course the parents talked to their child. They are great parents. They don't deserve the judging either. Grandma and mom had a talk. I'm sorry but you can't just assume someone is guilty, change their lives forever without investigating first. Luckily for me they didn't jump to conclusions.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I do feel judged. Of course the parents talked to their child. They are great parents. They don't deserve the judging either. Grandma and mom had a talk. I'm sorry but you can't just assume someone is guilty, change their lives forever without investigating first. Luckily for me they didn't jump to conclusions.

Your first post made it sound like they outright dismissed it and it was never mentioned it again until years later. I'm glad that wasn't the case.

 

[mummabear]

No thankfully.
We have however been worried. Whenever DD7 was just 2 we went to Australia, she slipped on wet tiles in the hotel bathroom and started vomiting profusely for hours-ended up in a&be having ct scans etc
Fast forward 4 years and our youngest is the same age, again in Australia and a similar thing happens, she falls off a chair and smacks her head starts vomiting, overnight in the hospital ct scan etc.
Then the next night she is sleeping in the pack and play next to our bed and starts vomiting again, I grab her out of bed, DH leaps up to turn on the light, we get tangled up in the sheets and fall, I'm trying not to land on her and manage to flip my body ariund but loose grip on her and swing her like a baseball bat into the doorframe, screaming, vomiting, major lump and immediate bruise, straight back to a&he thinking they are going to call the police....
Thankfully she was fine, I lasting damage but I may never take the children to OZ again

 

[Dawnlight]

No, but I had many strangers whispering about me and my fourth son and some pointing at us due to him being in a leg cast from birth. He was born with a club foot and the method of correction was serial casting. It was tough to be out and about with him and see the judgmental stares. I usually tried to keep his leg covered up with a blanket.

 

[brockash]

I do feel judged. Of course the parents talked to their child. They are great parents. They don't deserve the judging either. Grandma and mom had a talk. I'm sorry but you can't just assume someone is guilty, change their lives forever without investigating first. Luckily for me they didn't jump to conclusions.

I don't think the pp was assuming you were guilty. In your original post it made it sound like it was handled very nonchalantly and like the parents just totally dismissed their 3-5 year saying they were sexually abused (something very out of the ordinary for a child of that age especially to even know about etc., and something that most would think should be taken very seriously). I think the pp was just inquiring about why the parents would just automatically not give a second thought to a claim like that from their own child, but it sounds like there was more to it and that they did ask more questions etc.