Governor names himself Dictator of Florida after election crisis
Primitive Democratic voters unable to choose Bush's opponent; Bush assumes new role to bring calm to panic-ridden state
Tallahassee, FL -- Governor Jeb Bush has named himself the Supreme Dictator of Florida in light of the most recent election crisis in which the state's Democrats were yet again unable and unwilling to serve their patriotic duty by properly voting.
Flanked by members of his elite Jepublican Guard, his majesty Jeb Bush greeted his new subjects today for the first time as Supreme Dictator.
"Today I stand before you as your leader, unchallenged by the Democratic party," said Dictator Bush from a balcony high atop the Capitol compound in Tallahassee.
"Our statewide voting procedure is clearly still not a success, and changes will not fix it," said the Dictator. "Therefore, today I will abolish the voting process completely. The will of the people shall be my will, and no newfangled electric machine will get that wrong."
Dictator Bush's next official decree was to change the name of the state from Florida to FloriJeb.
The state's Jepublican Guard, formerly known as the Florida National Guard, has been called into full alert under Bush's orders, and he took time to address them during his first speech as Dictator.
"Gentleman of the Jepublican Guard: First stop, Cuba! We're going in, and we're ******* getting Elián. I'm taking him straight to Disney World and giving him a lifetime multi-park pass immediately!"
© 2002 Jeb02.com -
Primitive Democratic voters unable to choose Bush's opponent; Bush assumes new role to bring calm to panic-ridden state
Tallahassee, FL -- Governor Jeb Bush has named himself the Supreme Dictator of Florida in light of the most recent election crisis in which the state's Democrats were yet again unable and unwilling to serve their patriotic duty by properly voting.
Flanked by members of his elite Jepublican Guard, his majesty Jeb Bush greeted his new subjects today for the first time as Supreme Dictator.
"Today I stand before you as your leader, unchallenged by the Democratic party," said Dictator Bush from a balcony high atop the Capitol compound in Tallahassee.
"Our statewide voting procedure is clearly still not a success, and changes will not fix it," said the Dictator. "Therefore, today I will abolish the voting process completely. The will of the people shall be my will, and no newfangled electric machine will get that wrong."
Dictator Bush's next official decree was to change the name of the state from Florida to FloriJeb.
The state's Jepublican Guard, formerly known as the Florida National Guard, has been called into full alert under Bush's orders, and he took time to address them during his first speech as Dictator.
"Gentleman of the Jepublican Guard: First stop, Cuba! We're going in, and we're ******* getting Elián. I'm taking him straight to Disney World and giving him a lifetime multi-park pass immediately!"
© 2002 Jeb02.com -
