Going to Orlando and no Disney parks ?

[Princess Disney Mom]

Hi All,
To run a question by you. Let me give you some background. Sorry if it is a bit long. We have been helping a 9 year old child living with a family member that works for us as an aid for our adult disabled daughter. We have provided for the child food , clothes, medical, toys, educational help, summer camp help etc.

In March we had a trip planned for Port Orleans Riverside for a week , my husband, myself, adult daughter and her aid. Two days before the trip we realized the child’s parents her parents were unfit to care for her and took her with us. We did not do any parks and the child had a blast swimming etc at the resort.

A few weeks ago we took the child to stay on the beach in Saint Petersburg and she had a blast swimming etc.

in a few weeks we are going back to stay Club level at the Coronado Springs resort for a week and taking the child. We paid her airline ticket and MK ticket $164 for one day.

In August we are taking the child with us to the Virginia Beach Hilton club level.

Okay my question part. In October we are going to meet up with our son and his wife at the Hilton in Disney springs for a week. We did buy the child an airline ticket. My husband and I will do what our son and daughter-in-law would like to do and take our daughter with us to parks , maybe the Halloween party snd water parks. My question:
What is your opinion on us going to the parks etc and leaving the child with our daughters aid at the Hilton to swim visit Disney Springs and just not do what we do that is very expensive. Would it be better to tell our employee to stay home with her or is going and not doing the things we do is okay?

Thanks for your input. We are just trying to do our best to help a child in need.

 

[nw6675]

Given all the generosity and the child's love of swimming, I see no issue whatsoever with doing a family only portion.

 

[nw6675]

Also, after thinking more, it sounds like you are putting the guilt on yourself. Understandable, but it's perfectly OK not to include others in every last thing. But if the guilt comes from the aide, we'll that's another issue altogether.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

Also, after thinking more, it sounds like you are putting the guilt on yourself. Understandable, but it's perfectly OK not to include others in every last thing. But if the guilt comes from the aide, we'll that's another issue altogether.

Thank you so much!!!!!

 

[HopperFan]

How incredibly generous you all are!!! It sounds like just spending time at the pool and enjoying Disney Springs is a very nice vacation for the child without anything else. I would explain to your aide that this is special time with your son where you all would be doing your own thing, but you would be very happy to provide them a hotel vacation where they can easily access more enjoyment at DS. And that you would understand if she did not wish to go. The choice is hers.

No guilt from any point of view, you all have gone above and beyond, am sure your aide is very appreciative of all. Who knows maybe she would be okay staying home. Just be clear what you will provide and that your family will be off doing things for much of the time - and they would be on their own with the child.

 

[disneydreamer1980]

I guess im the odd one out here but I think that would be wrong. The child’s going to be seeing you leave for parks, parties and whatever else and wonder why she can’t go. Then she’ll see you come back with souvenirs and talking about all the fun you had. You have been very generous with her and bless you for that but taking her but not wanting to spend money on her (she’s 1 person, at child prices at that) seems icky to me. If you go that route I’d explain to her ahead of time that she won’t be doing all the fun things you’ll be doing so she doesn’t feel so disappointed when she gets there. If you just wanna go and just be with your son, that’s perfectly fine just don’t mention the trip to her. Sounds like this poor kids had a hard life and it’s nice she has someone like you in it.

 

[lockets]

What is your opinion on us going to the parks etc and leaving the child with our daughters aid at the Hilton to swim visit Disney Springs and just not do what we do that is very expensive. Would it be better to tell our employee to stay home with her or is going and not doing the things we do is okay?

Assuming you’ve received explicit permission from the biological parent to leave her with the third party aide and your daughter on their own during the vacation… And also approval from the aide that she’s ok to watch two people vs. one then I think it’s ok.

“Explicit” because I learned in situations like these it’s best not to assume that everyone is ok with changing up the plans.

For instance the aide (who I believe you’ve also referred to as a family member that’s employed by you because you used the term “employee”) might need to understand that her duties have/are changing but her pay might not. Or at least for that day her responsibility is doubled. She might be super fine with this and happy to have a pool day with the two children, but best to check.

And the biological mother might assume her child will always be in your care under your watchful eye. Even if you’re leaving her with someone else you trust to do something just as fun that she wouldn’t have the opportunity to do with her biological Mom it doesn’t necessarily mean the parent is envisioning you separating from her child for any reason. Or, she might love that her child gets to spend time with different people. It could go either way. I’d just talk all that through with all the parent.

I’d also make sure of course that your daughter who receives help from the aide will still receive proper attention. (Obviously) It’s wonderful that you’re giving to another child, but I see your own daughter as your first and foremost primary responsibility.

As far as the difference in plans. It’s subjective. One excursion is not necessarily better than the other. ie swimming and Disney Springs vs. Theme Parks/Water Parks. I know many kids that would prefer swimming all day at the pool followed by a visit to the Lego store at DS.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

I guess im the odd one out here but I think that would be wrong. The child’s going to be seeing you leave for parks, parties and whatever else and wonder why she can’t go. Then she’ll see you come back with souvenirs and talking about all the fun you had. You have been very generous with her and bless you for that but taking her but not wanting to spend money on her (she’s 1 person, at child prices at that) seems icky to me. If you go that route I’d explain to her ahead of time that she won’t be doing all the fun things you’ll be doing so she doesn’t feel so disappointed when she gets there. If you just wanna go and just be with your son, that’s perfectly fine just don’t mention the trip to her. Sounds like this poor kids had a hard life and it’s nice she has someone like you in it.

Thanks for your input. It is actually two persons if she goes. Her and her aunt. Also we have purchased an MK ticket for her in June and it was $164 for a child for one day no hopper. I’m maxed out with my expenses for her and was wondering if a hotel trip was better than no trip. I’ll go with the others that say yes this is ok since I have provided her with so much. Thank you so much for your perspective.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

Assuming you’ve received explicit permission from the biological parent to leave her with the third party aide and your daughter on their own during the vacation… And also approval from the aide that she’s ok to watch two people vs. one then I think it’s ok.

“Explicit” because I learned in situations like these it’s best not to assume that everyone is ok with changing up the plans.

For instance the aide (who I believe you’ve also referred to as a family member that’s employed by you because you used the term “employee”) might need to understand that her duties have/are changing but her pay might not. Or at least for that day her responsibility is doubled. She might be super fine with this and happy to have a pool day with the two children, but best to check.

And the biological mother might assume her child will always be in your care under your watchful eye. Even if you’re leaving her with someone else you trust to do something just as fun that she wouldn’t have the opportunity to do with her biological Mom it doesn’t necessarily mean the parent is envisioning you separating from her child for any reason. Or, she might love that her child gets to spend time with different people. It could go either way. I’d just talk all that through with all the parent.

I’d also make sure of course that your daughter who receives help from the aide will still receive proper attention. (Obviously) It’s wonderful that you’re giving to another child, but I see your own daughter as your first and foremost primary responsibility.

As far as the difference in plans. It’s subjective. One excursion is not necessarily better than the other. ie swimming and Disney Springs vs. Theme Parks/Water Parks. I know many kids that would prefer swimming all day at the pool followed by a visit to the Lego store at DS.

The child is actually a relative of the aid. My employee has legal custody as the parents are unable to take care of her. This is why they both come or both stay. Thanks so much.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

How incredibly generous you all are!!! It sounds like just spending time at the pool and enjoying Disney Springs is a very nice vacation for the child without anything else. I would explain to your aide that this is special time with your son where you all would be doing your own thing, but you would be very happy to provide them a hotel vacation where they can easily access more enjoyment at DS. And that you would understand if she did not wish to go. The choice is hers.

No guilt from any point of view, you all have gone above and beyond, am sure your aide is very appreciative of all. Who knows maybe she would be okay staying home. Just be clear what you will provide and that your family will be off doing things for much of the time - and they would be on their own with the child.

Thanks so much!!! This is what I will do. I actually switched us to Port Orleans Riverside that will be so much more fun than the Hilton and still just a boat ride from son and wife. We will just do two park days. So all good. Everyone will be happy. Thanks everyone for all your perspectives as it did help me

 

[lockets]

The child is actually a relative of the aid. My employee has legal custody as the parents are unable to take care of her. This is why they both come or both stay. Thanks so much.

Ohhhhhh. Yeah then I would totally leave her w her own relative to enjoy the pool. No question or doubt.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

A lot of aid/care givers will not take kids into pools because of the liability