Getting over not having certain experiences?

[browneyes106]

I have been left out a lot of stuff like wedding parties, baptisms and a few other events and I feel like I have missed out on having certain experiences. Does anyone have any advice on how to get over stuff like that?

 

[mumom95]

I have been left out a lot of stuff like wedding parties, baptisms and a few other events and I feel like I have missed out on having certain experiences. Does anyone have any advice on how to get over stuff like that?

Do you mean like your wedding party or your kid's baptisms? Or do you just mean you didn't get to go to someone else's party or baptism?

 

[browneyes106]

Do you mean like your wedding party or your kid's baptisms? Or do you just mean you didn't get to go to someone else's party or baptism?

I meant that I get left out of those kinds of events. I never get asked to be apart of stuff like that.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I have been left out a lot of stuff like wedding parties, baptisms and a few other events and I feel like I have missed out on having certain experiences. Does anyone have any advice on how to get over stuff like that?

You can't miss what you haven't experienced. Look at it that way.

 

[browneyes106]

You can't miss what you haven't experienced. Look at it that way.

I do try to look at it that way. But it's sort of hard because most of my friends and relatives are always getting asked to be in weddings and similar events. My boyfriend has already been in 5 weddings and he will be in 3 weddings this year. The first wedding will be on April 24th. It's hard when to hear him always tell me about what's going on with the wedding parties. I kind of don't want to go to the weddings because I will probably feel down and I don't know a lot of his friends.

 

[browneyes106]

Also thank you for the hugs Carly.

 

[MomRN]

It's obvious that this bothers you. Are you having close friends getting married and having babies?

Personally, I'm just the opposite. I don't like weddings, baby showers, etc. I've never been to a baptism, so I can't really say I wouldn't like it... but I wouldn't like it. I'll send you a card, give you a hi-five when I find out, but you have to be pretty close to me for me to attend, really, really close for me not to bail out early.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

How old are you? If you are in your 90's I would say pretty much I don't think you will ever be apart of that BUT I am ASSUMING your younger (early to mid 20's???) and I bet you will be invited to them.

 

[NMAmy]

I'm sorry you're feeling badly about this. Frankly, I would thank my lucky stars if I had never had to be part of the wedding party. It's REALLY overrated.

 

[browneyes106]

How old are you? If you are in your 90's I would say pretty much I don't think you will ever be apart of that BUT I am ASSUMING your younger (early to mid 20's???) and I bet you will be invited to them.

I'll be 25 next week. I don't think I'll ever be asked to be apart of those things. I do get invited to them but I just don't get asked to be apart of them.

 

[dislaney]

I'm sorry you're feeling badly about this. Frankly, I would thank my lucky stars if I had never had to be part of the wedding party. It's REALLY overrated.

I agree. Unless it is someone you are extremely close with - it is kinda a pain in the neck. I know it hurts when you feel like your being left out though.

 

[browneyes106]

I'm sorry you're feeling badly about this. Frankly, I would thank my lucky stars if I had never had to be part of the wedding party. It's REALLY overrated.

I have heard a few people say that. But with my boyfriend and most of my friends it seems like they always have fun being in weddings.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Are these people very close friends of yours? Unless you are a best friend or relative you most likely wouldn't be included- although to me being invited is being included- in these events. We don't pick friends to be Godparents and I only had my sister as my maid of honor. I wanted things simple and for me she is way more important to me than a friend.
Is your BFF getting married? If it was just people I was friends with but not superclose I wouldn't care. Personally I would rather be a guest. I love picking out my own dress/shoes/hair. I also have a better time.
I wouldn't let it bother you. Go to the weddings and have a good time. If you are already saying to your bf that you probably won't have a good time because you hardly know anyone you will then become the girlfriend that is too dependent. Not trying to be mean but if he is spending all day worrying if you are okay then it is not fair.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I'll be 25 next week. I don't think I'll ever be asked to be apart of those things. I do get invited to them but I just don't get asked to be apart of them.

Give it time I don't think I was actually in my wedding until about 3 years ago. Plus people start marring and having babies around the age you are now. SO your close friends may start asking you.

 

[browneyes106]

Are these people very close friends of yours? Unless you are a best friend or relative you most likely wouldn't be included- although to me being invited is being included- in these events. We don't pick friends to be Godparents and I only had my sister as my maid of honor. I wanted things simple and for me she is way more important to me than a friend.
Is your BFF getting married? If it was just people I was friends with but not superclose I wouldn't care. Personally I would rather be a guest. I love picking out my own dress/shoes/hair. I also have a better time.
I wouldn't let it bother you. Go to the weddings and have a good time. If you are already saying to your bf that you probably won't have a good time because you hardly know anyone you will then become the girlfriend that is too dependent. Not trying to be mean but if he is spending all day worrying if you are okay then it is not fair.

I'm close friends or related to all of these people. My bff already got married. But they had a small wedding and her sister was her maid of honor which I understood because her and her husband had been living together and had two kids together before they got married. I haven't said anything to my bf about not wanting to go to the wedding. He talks a lot about how weddings are and how he is going to have fun and how it feels to be honored by his friends. Hearing that stuff brings me down.

 

[RitaE]

Well, I'm sorry you are feeling bad about this but I'm having a hard time empathizing to be honest. In my book "life experiences" are things you accomplish or experience yourself. Completing an education, taking a European tour - finding your dream job. I really don't even consider my own wedding a life experience. The marriage yes...the wedding itself - nope.

But really what you are describing to me is wanting to take part of somebody else's life experience, not have your own.

I'm just not a wedding, baptism, whatever party kind of gal to tell you the truth. I don't even like to go to weddings much less participate in them. Whenever I get an invitation my knee jerk reaction is "Can I get out of this?"

But given all the tv shows about weddings, that's probably just me.

 

[lspst8]

OP, I'm sorry that this makes you feel sad. I feel like the media talks about weddings/proms/baby stuff so much that if sometimes feels like everyone has been a bridesmaid 20 times and been asked to be a god parent to at least 5 different kids. But reality isn't like that.

I didn't go to any proms in high school and have only been a bridesmaid for one friend and MOH for my sister. (Although, most of my friends are really not the marrying type -- they'll buy a house with the BF, but feel like marriage is too big of a commitment! ). I do very rarely get in moods where I fell like I might have missed out on something, but you can't let thoughts of the past get you down. Does your BF know that all his bragging bothers you?

And really, being a bridesmaid isn't that fun. My sister's wedding was great, but my other bridesmaid experience was expensive and boring.

 

[KandD]

OP I kind of know how you feel, before this year I have never been to a shower (except for ones thrown by work for coworkers) and I have never been in a wedding. But now I have FOUR upcoming weddings and I am in two of them, they are expensive, time consuming, and really not all they are cracked up to be! It is nice to share the experience with a good friend but it really is not something that you are missing out on.

 

[waltskids]

Although DH and I have been to tons of weddings,I was never even in a wedding until my own! BFF died 6 months after she was maid of honor in our wedding , and my other BFF had a small wedding with no bridal party. And since have only been a bridesmaid once in another friend's wedding. Many of our friends have had smaller weddings with no bridal party, but DH has been in many weddings before we got married. I'm an only child so it doesn't bother me much. We both aren't Godparents either, but loved both of our children's baptisms and were obviously very much a part of those. We had big parties for each of those and both sides of the family attended. I don't really think too much about the weddings since they are alot of work (and money)!

 

[Mrs. Charming]

A LOT of these big hubub events are a big pain in the butt to be a part of, sometimes it's just easier to be a guest. I'm not normally invited to be a part of these things either.

In fact, I was a little hurt to not be a part of SIL's wedding, but DH was. Besides the bachelor party money, the tux, the "events", the new (stupid) shoes he had to buy, and all the other stuff, I saw how much of a PITA it is. Not I'm not feeling so left out.