Getting Cut from the Baseball Team

[DawnCt]

My DS's are good baseball players. This is the first year however that my youngest DS has experienced JV try outs as a freshman. He will not be cut but he is now seeing the pain first hand that these cuts inflict. A H.S junior LOVES baseball but the sad part is, he can't play. He worked very hard during try outs, the other kids worked with him but bottom line is; he can't catch, he is afraid of the ball, he can't throw the ball more than 20 feet and he can't run. No, he can't hit either. The coach had no choice but to cut him. He will be one of four. The sad part is, the other players who will be cut do not put their heart and soul into it. They don't try that hard. Patrick came home very sad. He said that it was painful for the coach to do it but there was no choice.
There should be a "job", manager,etc for these kids who would love to be part of the team but just don't have the skills. He knows the game inside and out. He just can't play.

 

[Deb in IA]

Maybe he can play in a recreational league . . .

 

[DawnCt]

Originally posted by Deb in IA
Maybe he can play in a recreational league . . .

I think that is a good idea, except in our town, baseball is really big and he hasn't played on an organized team ever. Little League is very competative where we live. All of my kids started playing baseball at 6 and are quite skilled but a boy who has never had that experience really has a hard time breaking into a sport with no skills. I am not sure that there is an answer to it. I am glad that my DS is sensitive to the feelings of others. I know that he was going to go to the coach and suggest a supportive role for this boy. I feel lucky in many ways that we live in a nice town. The boy in question is overweight and doesn't fit the "athletic profile", but all of the kids like him and are nice to him.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Growing up, being a kid, Dawn, can be so tough at times. Being a mom or dad can be so very tough too, I hear it in your 'voice'. A big {hug} for you, one for that boy of yours also. He'll be okay, but it is so darn tough seeing our kids hurting like that, we've been there too. My best to you both.

 

[Disney Debbie]

I'm confused!! Is it your older son that was cut? Or another boy? I thought it was another boy but Dan's post makes me think maybe it's your son.

Either way - High school is TOUGH! And even though we can look back as adults and realize they aren't the biggest problems in the world - they sure do feel like it when you're going through them. My DD missed the second round of her Public Speaking competition by ONE point! It's made her determined to have her entire speech completely memorized for next year though.

When I was in school they did have a manager job for the football team (I wasn't interested in baseball then but I assume they had the same thing) Our local football team has water girls and boys - but they seem to pretty much be the coaches kids

 

[Disneycrazymom]

It is so hard to know how to comfort the kids. My neice was one of the last 4 cut from freshmen cheerleading last week. She was so upset. So were my sister and I. I just wanted to make it ok for her, but I know that she has to learn about dissappointment in life. But I sure wish none of the kids had to learn that!

 

[Tinkbell]

The sad part is that some of the players who make the team don't appreciate it. Unfortunately, at the HS level making the team is almost entirely based on skill, not heart.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Yep, you are correct there, Debbie. I reread Dawn's post and see it is another boy. And as you said, Debbie, it is tough when going through it.

 

[Kallison]

Usually there is a manager position or scorekeeper needed. He should talk to the coach. It's tough but at that level he could get seriously hurt if he doesn't know what he is doing.

 

[NHAnn]

It's SO tough seeing kids dealing with disappointment like that...some DISers might remember my posts late last summer about my DD's HS soccer tryouts when she was passed over for varsity for a sophomore and played a third year in JV as a junior. And truth be told, SHE handled the disappointment a bit better than I did...(I didn't let her know how strongly I felt that both the decision itself and the way it was handled and communicated to the players involved was totally inappropriate and unfair). Somehow, things have a way of working out for the best.......she ended up having a fun and very successful (more so than the varsity ) season on JV, as a co-captain.
There were girls cut completely from the program and one, a sophomore, decided to stay involved and helped "manage" the JV team. She was a big help keeping stats and helping with equipment and such. The coach (and the girls) treated her as part of the team. Good for your son for suggesting such a role for his friend to the coach. That's a great way for someone to stay involved, and I hope your son's coach is as sensitive and supportive of the young people as my DD's JV coach has been!

 

[slimplaw]

He could be the statistician for the team. My DS was injured one season in high school and the coach had him keep the statistics for the team. Apparently good statisticians are used for high school and college teams. He could have even earned a letter for the position.

 

[Disney Dee]

It would be worse if he made the team and contributed nothing. How upset and embaressed would he be if he lost games for the team? At that age, competion and having a winning team is important to the school and the kids! Its no longer a learning eperience like in Little league. Those kids who made the grade because of talent and alot of hard work, deserve a winning team! Besides, if the untalented kids made the team, where would the talented kids play? A field only plays 9 players, and that means even the talented kids have to sit out sometimes, would it be fair that a kid who can't even catch a ball take his place? I say no! My DS worked hard to make the team, he shouldn't have to sit out more then an inning or 2, when his playing can give the school a victory!

 

[amid chaos]

The school that Norah attends and Bob will too in the fall does things a little differently.

Every kid makes the team....if they want to play, they play. Yes, it's a small school but 75% of the kids are involved in sports.

Fall is soccer, winter is basketball and spring is lacrosse.

They win many, many championships and usually win the referees award for good sportsmanship.

So, including everyone can be done. It just takes the right program.

 

[glo]

I am not sure I want my child to believe that they can only try things if they are the absolute best. I am not one who believes that everyone needs to be pampered all the time, but I also do not believe that we are teaching our children anything if they can only be on winning teams, with only the best. When do we teach them tollerance and kindness?

I think that sports is one area that really needs to learn this. I have this friend who coaches a basketball team. Parent's are so involved in how much time their child should get and who plays that he can not coach effectively. It works both ways. The kids on his team could have won a few more games than they did, if parents had not been involved.

I guess, what I think is that this is not a perfect world. We need to learn to accept people as they are and to let them be part of our world, but we also have to know that sometimes we can't have that perfect world. I would never want my child to feel any differently than Dawn's kid. She should be proud of him

 

[Disney Dee]

I am not saying if your child cannot cut the mustard, he, she shouldn't play the sport, though I think everyone has a talent they should try to excel in, butas far as school teams, most schools can't pick everyone who tries out, so whats wrong with picking the best? There are other teams that are just for fun and the not so good players would probably feel better on a team that they can enjoy playing and also get more playing time without the fear of letting their school down. JMHO. Its like being talented in say playing an instrument even those with a tin ear can play for fun, but not in a band, enjoy it, but leave the stage to the real musicians! JMHO.

Not everything is competive, but school sports is, thats just the way it is!

 

[glo]

I think that a child can only be taught to feel that they are letting "their school" down. School sport are competitive, but a child whether a star or the bench warner should never feel that they are letting anyone down as long as they are trying their very best. It is NOT about winning or being the very best all the time, but in how much effort and work you put into it. I think kids feel bad enough when you loose any game, but to feel like you are letting down others, like parents, or the school, is alot to put on any kids shoulders. Just not what I think is something we should teach our children, because even the stars have their off days.

It really is at that level about loving the game. If they are doing it for anything but that, then why bother.

 

[Disney Dee]

glo, I do see your point, and i agree a child should not feel he/she is letting their team down, but believe me, they themselves can be their worst enemy. Short story here.... My oldest ds was on a team many yrs ago. My ex was his teams coach, and a good one I must admit. There was a child on the team, it was LL so every child made a team, it was a mixture of good and not so good player. This child BEGGED to sit the bench if he was up at a crucial point in the game. My ex would never allow the other kids to groan or moan about letting this boy take his turn, if he was due up, or in the field, he stayed! But the child actually asked to be taken out because he said he wanted the team to win! So the poor child would try, and sure enough strike out, or miss the catch! No one made fun of him or blamed him, he was his own worse enemy.

He was a tall boy, and decided baseball wasn't for him so he tried out for the basketball team, and ended up leading his team to a championship! He found his nitch, and found out he wasn't a failure after all!

 

[Disney Debbie]

I don't think anyone thinks the boy wasn't treated fairly. Just that it hurts - being fair doesn't mean it doesn't hurt!! I tried out for majorette when I was in the 8th grade(for my 9th grade year) and didn't make it. I was very "mature" physically for my age and a friend of mine who had the body of a 4th grader made it. A lot of my friends were all "I can't believe she made it and you didn't, blah, blah" I got really mad at them! I felt bad enough already - but she did better at TWIRLING - and she made it fair and square. That didn't mean I didn't cry and feel AWFUL about it!

I would HATE to be a coach or a director or anyone that has to choose one person over another!! (Oops - I guess I am - I'm an employer! And I HATE having to tell someone they didn't get the job!)


(I made it the next year )

 

[Tiggeroo]

I would definitely look at some alternate places to play. Rec leagues are good. But perhaps better for learning skills would be a church softball/baseball league. All of our area churches have these. And the men/teens can play both on softball and baseball. The danger with highschool baseball is the speed. Pitchers pitch at least 60mph, and I can't even guess how fast the ball is hit. If you are not good you really could get hurt. A year in a place like this would give him at least the minimal skills to play for the high school. Our high schools have A, B, and C leagues depending on your skill level. Unless turn out is huge you don't get cut. The only sport I see them cutting at our school is basketball. I had a son who took up football and wrestling for the first time in hs. It was tough but he is doing great and making great memories.