Georgia School Votes “Cousins-Only” Prom (Satire)


<font color=red>Liberal and proud of it<br><font c
Aug 21, 2001
NewsHax wire -- Apparently inspired by the example of other schools voting for segregated junior-senior proms, the junior class at Turkey Gullet Consolidated High School, in Crania Hollow, Georgia, has voted to limit its Spring prom to students dating or, in some cases, married to their cousins.

“We’ve tried in the past to have dances that are open to everyone, including people who for some reason can’t get dates in their own family, ” said Class President Glenda Wood, “But most of us just don’t feel comfortable at those things. You know, it’s just not natural. We always wind up with our cousins anyway, so why bother to have the other people there at all? Besides, this was good enough for our parents”

The theme of the Turkey Gullet prom this year is, not unexpectedly, “Kissin’ Cousins.” Although the theme has been used frequently in the past, this year’s prom is believed to be the first that has made it a matter of official school policy.

The number of students who will be excluded from attending is somewhat difficult to ascertain, in part because, in an area where intra-family marriages are relatively common, many students are reluctant to admit that they or their parents have had to find partners elsewhere.

According to one senior, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, “If you don’t look like the product of recessive genes, you really stick out around here. Most of us just end up faking imbecility. Still, the school has a really tall basketball team, so things aren’t all that bad.”

School officials denied rumors that they have uncovered a forgery ring of students producing fake family trees for use in getting into the dance. “We intend to go on the honor system,” said Principal Calvin Johnson. “If a couple says they’re related, they get it. If we later find out they’re lying, well, around here we have what we call the “Deliverance Disciplinary System,” and it’s not too pretty, let me tell you.”

The music for the dance will be provided by Wilt & Wilma’s Family Values Banjo Band. Tickets per couple are $25 in advance, $35 at the door.
Gee hope everyone from Georgia on these boards has a sense of humor.

:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :eek: :eek: :eek: :confused: :confused: :confused:
That is funny, and I am not afraid to say so. :teeth:

Peeks around corner looking for the PC police.

Hehehe, I'm just glad Alabama wasn't the state mentioned in the satire.:)
I just have one question: If a couple from Georgia (substitute another state here if you prefer,) gets divorced, are they still brother and sister?


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