I think you've found most of your answer but I'll chime in
My bf went on a cruise over spring break and for our 6 month anniversary. The kids were never a problem and they do a great job seperating adult and kid areas. We hung out at the adult pool, the adult clubs, and the adult restaurants. We also had the second dinner seating which kept the younger kids away even at dinner.
as far as the gay thing, we never encountered a problem. The cast was fantastic. They gave us an anniversary cake and on our way out the head waiter made a comment like "don't have too much fun with that cake in your room"

That really floored me and helped my bf realize just how accepting Disney is.
you will have a great time and there is no better place to be a gay couple than at Disney or on
DCL