Gap year suggestions

Costac

Earning My Ears
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Looking for ideas.

We have a senior. Graduating high school May 2020.

She is smart, makes As, AP, dual enrollment, NHS, etc. However, as we get into senior year she is retrogressing.

Always complaining, acts entitled, becoming lazy with school work, everything is a battle with her. What she wants is not a battle but chores & academics is a Battle.

It is exhausting. At this point I do not believe going straight into college will work. With no one to check on her, it could be disastrous.

She could get into good colleges but with no effort in this phase, it looks dismal.

I sometimes take on the work to research and remind her to apply for scholarships, but where does my role end and where does her part begin? Is this too much handholding?

She can tell you the A to Z of celebrities but when we discuss school, it becomes a calculus problem.

She may need a gap year to figure out what next.

Would prefer something Faraway from home so she does not assume we will constantly pick up after her.

Any suggestions on how to go about this? If she could just save this drama for June 2020 after she graduates it would help her and us.

What can we do?

Can anyone share?

Yes there are those with the great best situations with their kids, lucky you, l am hoping for anyone who has faced this to tell me how it all played out.
 

DisOrBust

<font color=CC66CC>Tag Fairy does tags only, the A
Joined
Jan 12, 2000
I agree a gap year. College is too expensive not to go in it with her head in the game. My oldest had wished she took a gap year because she feels it would have helped making a decision on what major and not waste time and effort on classes she didn't need. What about her friends? Are they not applying working on their applications? Is the a boyfriend who is being a distraction?

Does she have any idea what she wants to pursue? Maybe work in the area she has an interest as a career, for example Nursing. She could work fora year as a CNA, and see if it is really for her.

Americorps also has opportunities I believe where you work for a year and get some type of scholarship. I work with someone who did this and she said it was a life changer for her.

IT really is a tough situation and sounds like seinoritis maybe when school start again she will straighten out.
I am blessed that my kids were/are warriors when it can to school, we also had financial pressures so that made them take school very seriously. Both were RA'a for 2 years and saw some kids who were bright just self implode.

Good luck!
 

Costac

Earning My Ears
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
I agree a gap year. College is too expensive not to go in it with her head in the game. My oldest had wished she took a gap year because she feels it would have helped making a decision on what major and not waste time and effort on classes she didn't need. What about her friends? Are they not applying working on their applications? Is the a boyfriend who is being a distraction?

Does she have any idea what she wants to pursue? Maybe work in the area she has an interest as a career, for example Nursing. She could work fora year as a CNA, and see if it is really for her.

Americorps also has opportunities I believe where you work for a year and get some type of scholarship. I work with someone who did this and she said it was a life changer for her.

IT really is a tough situation and sounds like seinoritis maybe when school start again she will straighten out.
I am blessed that my kids were/are warriors when it can to school, we also had financial pressures so that made them take school very seriously. Both were RA'a for 2 years and saw some kids who were bright just self implode.

Good luck!
I appreciate this.

I think our household is dealing with both Senioritis & an early implosion. Maybe it is good it is happening now before she leaves for college.

We are looking into Americorps now.
 

Welsh_Dragon

Mouseketeer
Joined
Feb 23, 2019
Looking for ideas.

We have a senior. Graduating high school May 2020.

She is smart, makes As, AP, dual enrollment, NHS, etc. However, as we get into senior year she is retrogressing.

Always complaining, acts entitled, becoming lazy with school work, everything is a battle with her. What she wants is not a battle but chores & academics is a Battle.

It is exhausting. At this point I do not believe going straight into college will work. With no one to check on her, it could be disastrous.

She could get into good colleges but with no effort in this phase, it looks dismal.

I sometimes take on the work to research and remind her to apply for scholarships, but where does my role end and where does her part begin? Is this too much handholding?

She can tell you the A to Z of celebrities but when we discuss school, it becomes a calculus problem.

She may need a gap year to figure out what next.

Would prefer something Faraway from home so she does not assume we will constantly pick up after her.

Any suggestions on how to go about this? If she could just save this drama for June 2020 after she graduates it would help her and us.

What can we do?

Can anyone share?

Yes there are those with the great best situations with their kids, lucky you, l am hoping for anyone who has faced this to tell me how it all played out.
I think that there comes a time when you have to step back and let them be responsible for their own studies, life path. I know that it is hard. By ‘handholding’ and doing research, form filling etc you are taking the responsibility from her and disempowering her. As you said, she is an intelligent girl and she will quickly work out that if she wants to go to University she will have to jump through certain hoops to get there. Similarly it should be her choice whether or not to have a gap year.
If she is keen to have a gap year maybe suggest that she looks at Raleigh International and Lattitude.org. British charities working overseas but they accept young people from all over the world.
 

tguz

Mouseketeer
Joined
Feb 6, 2018
I personally am not a fan of the gap year unless you are committed to something worth while such as ministry or helping others in some way. But just to take a year off, I have seen too many kids do that or say they are starting at semester and they never go or go and drop out because they were used to doing nothing and liked it.
 

Mommb

DIS Veteran
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
My son was very unmotivated his senior year of high school. He finished college applications at the last minute, didn't ask anyone to even look over his essays, and was then surprised when he didn't get into his top choices of schools. However, after he started at his "safely" school, he blossomed -- he found a major he really enjoyed, got more involved in extracurriculars than he had been in high school, and (completely on his own) applied for and landed a great job after college graduation. He explained to me during college that he was just bored in high school, so he didn't care.

Your daughter may be in a similar situation, or her issues may be completely different. Either way, though, you need to follow her lead on next steps. If she indicates an interest in a gap year program and you find ideas that you think would be good for her, by all means provide her with information about them, but she needs to make the decision whether or not to pursue them. If she wants to apply to colleges and believes she can succeed in a year, let her try (or at least send applications -- if you're paying for college and truly don't think she's ready next spring, that's another discussion). If she applies to colleges but then decides she needs/wants to do something else for a year, many colleges will let her delay enrollment for a year.

As tguz mentioned above, if she doesn't make plans now for next year, she may lose the initiative to apply and enroll in college or other programs later.
 

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