Funny Advice You've Gotten...or learned the hard way

[TigerCheer2009]

*Never put the name of your crush on your Yahoo Messenger

*German plus cello does not equal violin

*Talking trees never move

*Government class at my school is a riot. I mean seriously, we have a LOT of fun and laugh a lot...Disney characters are Teamsters, there's nuclear pee, communist Girl Scouts...and Walmart/McDonalds/cockroaches/the scary fish looking guidance councelor are going to take over the world some day. Our teacher is hilarious. He plans on running for Congress (seriously!!!).

 

[sleepyone]

Ummm....after having a baby, bring larger bras to wear home from the hospital.....learned the hard way.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Ummm....after having a baby, bring larger bras to wear home from the hospital.....learned the hard way.

And right at THAT time--not the best time to buy a new bra. Wait a day or two to get the right size. Learned the hard way.

 

[denisem]

Lesson learned yesterday:

Never own more than one pair of Crocs and get dressed in the dark for a drs. appt. You think they look goofy when they're the same color? Try one black and one navy blue...

Denise < --- office staff wants me to wear the "matching pair I have at home" for the next appt.

 

[sleepyone]

Lesson learned yesterday:

Never own more than one pair of Crocs and get dressed in the dark for a drs. appt. You think they look goofy when they're the same color? Try one black and one navy blue...

Denise < --- office staff wants me to wear the "matching pair I have at home" for the next appt.

That's funny!

 

[becjlek]

One Sat. I had gotten dressed in the dark so I wouldn't wake up DH to do some overtime at work. When I got to work I found out my tshirt was inside out.

 

[Texan Mouseketeer]

Feed your one year old daughter breakfast BEFORE you get dressed for work!!

 

[shannon1219]

Always do a last minute wardrobe check before you appear in the christmas parade in front of the whole entire town. I always wanted to be a shining star, just not in that way.

 

[Sparx]

If in doubt, ask. People won't tell you your shirt is on inside out. Trust me I know. I went through 7 classes, lunch, adn I ran a mile. Not ONE person told me my shirt was on inside out. not one.

 

[daisyduck123]

I can't think of any hilarious advice, here's my best I can remember:

Bofore I got married, someone (can't remember who) told me "Don't start doing his laundry, or you'll forever be stuck with it". Well, over a dozen years later....I'm still not doing it.

 

[Sthronds]

Lessons I learned the hard way:

Never sit on silly putty on shag carpet

When in busy traffic and your friend yells "look": DONT LOOK!

Don't feed your Baby Alive doll cheese

 

[taximomfor4]

Let me try...

"You can't tell some people anything"...but have fun trying.

"Don't eat yellow snow"

"If you don't like the sounds children make, don't have any."

 

[becjlek]

always diaper baby boys quickly

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Don't feed cats cheese.

I fed my Baby Alive doll lemon ice cream once!! That didn't turn out too well...

And also I used to sleep with a can of Ninja Turtle Spaghettios.

 

[TinkerBess_SnowTori]

You can't make hot chocolate in the coffee maker

If the children are quiet - you better check on the cat

Never sit by my brother during chuch communion

 

[DarkSideMoon]

Never ask disers if they can take a stab at what sickness you have without specifing a gender....

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?p=10784293#post10784293

 

[Talking Hands]

Don't let someone distract you from the door at lunch or end of the day dismissal or some students will go AWOL

 

[AnaheimGirl]

Never own more than one pair of Crocs and get dressed in the dark for a drs. appt. You think they look goofy when they're the same color? Try one black and one navy blue...

LOL! On a similar note, never own more than one pair of any shoes and get dressed in the dark. I once went to work wearing a nice gray and black outfit, complete with a pair of navy blue pumps. I hid behind my desk all day.

 

[castleview]

Never use regualar dish detergent in the dishwasher. Sudsy, sudsy, sudsy.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

always diaper baby boys quickly

Yes..I learned that the hard way too. I got 'baptized' several times before I learned how to diaper him fast enough.

Clean TV sets are magnets for little handprints.

Cats are very,very funny to toddlers.

Throwing food is WAY more fun than eating it, although cleaning it up is not much fun at all if you're the adult in the situation.

Kids make the FUNNIEST faces when you feed them new food.

Boxes are more fun than the toys that came in them.

Diapers,schmipers...who need's a diaper? Unless you're the one having to clean up the mess when your newly walking child decides to pee on the carpet.

Little girls freak out if they get dirty. Little boys freak out if they DON"T get dirty.

Tis a far better thing to be yourself than to be Bang the Monkey (NOT my LJ btw..although I do find mom_almighty rather hilarious )

TOV