From my mind to your boards an Ed Original (be afraid)

[Raulandpinboy]

So I came home and was so tired I hit the bed, the TV was on and in my half awake half asleep world, I heard an OnStar commercial. Except my mind played it like this.

An actual phone call to OnStar, by an actual customer.

“OnStar may I help you”

“Hi there OnStar this is Mr Smith account code ****** I’m afraid I need your help”

“How can we help you Mr. Smith”

“Well I took my wife to dinner and a cute young thing walked by our table. Well I didn’t look, but my wife insisted I look at how pretty she was and how she was almost not wearing anything…you know what I mean”

“Yes sir how may we help you then”

“Well I looked and she got mad cause I agreed with her and said she was a cutie alright”

“Oh you did that huh”

“Well she got mad cause I looked, and now she’s locked herself in the car, she’s got the keys, and won’t let me in, it’s raining and I’m cold. Can you folks unlock the car for me please?”

“Sure thing Mr. Smith hold on a second” BLIIIPPP

“That’s got it, She’s open”

“Great sir glad we could help”

“OH! Dang she’s reached over and locked it again”

“Oh sorry to hear that sir”

“Well dang! Now she’s gone and shot me the bird… That’s just wrong” “Hold on a second OnStar. You wanna just quit that you evil Woman” “Well Dang!”

“What’s wrong sir”

“Oh she shot me the bird again… Can y’all try again”

“Sure thing sir hold on please” BLIIIPPP

“Yep that did it, but oh she’s locked it again”

“Well sir may we suggest a mild electric shock”

“A What?”
“A mild electric shock. It wont hurt her it will just put her to sleep.”

“Really! It wont kill her, or nothing like that huh?”

“No sir, just put her to sleep”

“Well swell. Hold on a second before you do it okay”

“Sure thing sir, just tell us when your ready”

“Okay…. Hey Honey!! Baby I love you, and I’m sorry I looked at that other girl, and just to prove I’m sorry I got something for ya, and here it is” “Okay OnStar go for it”

“Yes sir hold a second please” BERZApPPPPP

“YES SIR That’s got her! No wait she’s still moving around, and still giving me the finger. Do er again”

“You got it sir” BERZApPPPPP

“Yep she’s out cold, looks real harmless in that condition too”

“Now I’ll unlock the door for you sir” BLIIIPP

“Well that did it I’m in, Thank you OnStar”

“No problem sir that’s why we’re here. Take care”

OnStar for when your wife gets upetty and needs to be put in her place. Built by Canadians for a darn good reason.

 

[chef's wife]

And I thought that was just for wives to find their husbands around town when they were cheating!!!!!!!
I'll be!!!!!!!
Thank you Ed for that wonderful PSA, you know it's men like you that make men superior to the other species (women) and you do it with a sense of humor what else could a woman ask for?????

 

[Happy Birthday Cat]

This story wasn't based on an actual event, was it??

HBC

 

[chef's wife]

Donna said it was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Raulandpinboy]

She slept all the way home

 

[GotAnyPins]

I'm fine....really...it didn't affect me...affect me..aff

 

[bsbkmacgowan]

Oh, Eddieeeeee...

does that work on Mothers-in-law????







Sandy

 

[Raulandpinboy]

Originally posted by bsbkmacgowan
Oh, Eddieeeeee...

does that work on Mothers-in-law????

Now Sandy thats not very Christian like now is it.

 

[GotAnyPins]

I'll just bet it will!!!!

 

[bsbkmacgowan]

Now Sandy thats not very Christian like now is it.

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie...

and zapping Donna is ????



hee hee hee

couldn't resist...

me

 

[Raulandpinboy]

Justifiable and humane and sanctioned in every southern court I know of.

Y'all

 

[chef's wife]

I don't condone any of this but...................I can understand it!!!!

Wow, "justifiable, humane and, sanctioned in every Southern court".....it just has that Deliverance sound to it doesn't it??????


Squeal like a..........oh never mind....don't want to get Red all rowled up!!!!!!

Manny....not Michelle