For those who like to read other people's family drama's UPDATE

[Disney1fan2002]

I am cutting my brother out of my life. It kills me to do it, he and I have always been close. But he has burned me one to many times financially, and now, after what he has done, I realize he needs help and I can't get it for him.

I wrote a check on his behalf for a NON REFUNDABLE security deposit on a cottage he is renting. I wrote it because he promised he had the money back in CA and he would send it to me before the post dated check was cashed. (Friday).

As of Wedsnesday, he has ignored every voice mail, every e-mail. I begged him to tell me he would be sending the money. My mortgage needs to be paid and without the $950 in my account, I can't pay the mortgage.

What does he care? My pleas went unanswered, and he never sent me the money. The landlord cashed the check.

I am finished with him. I was going to report him missing, but then found a girlfriend that had talked to him Friday night(he was packing his stuff to come home, so he still plans on moving in to the cottage).

I called the landlord, and told him he can tell my brother the check bounced. He is a nice guy, and has someone else in mind for the cottage, if he can get him in there for March 1st, he will give me my money back. Please pray this happens.

As for my brother, he can fall off the face of the earth. He is a loser and a thief. You would not believe how many people he has burned when it comes to money.

I am all done. As much as I am angry, I am more hurt that he would do this to me! As far as he knows, I can't pay my mortgage (I can because I have emergency funds) and he doesn't care. Yet, he is in CA packing up his things, as if all is well.

I wonder what is is going to do when he gets here with all his stuff and finds he has no house to move into?

 

[AprilShowers]

I'm so sorry your brother is a jerk. My brother has done similar things to our family as well. I know exactly how you fee.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I'm so sorry. I know how worried you were this weekend about your brother. I don't have any siblings but have families memebers that would suck all the life out of you if they could.

 

[LBelle]

OMG!!!!! What a total cad!!!!!! I'm crossing my fingers AND my toes that the other folks get in there in time!!!! Hugs to you!!!!

 

[Sherri]

I'm glad your brother is safe and I am SO SORRY he put you through this. Do you mind me asking how old he is?

 

[jonestavern]

Jean

 

[robinb]

I'm sorry that your brother is a jerk . Does he have friends or other family in the area? He might end up on your doorstep with all his stuff!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

But he has burned me one to many times financially, and now, after what he has done, I realize he needs help and I can't get it for him.

___________________________________________________________

As of Wedsnesday, he has ignored every voice mail, every e-mail. I begged him to tell me he would be sending the money. My mortgage needs to be paid and without the $950 in my account, I can't pay the mortgage.

Since he has burned you in the past, why did you think this time would be any different? You took a HUGE risk giving him money you could have used towards your mortgage.

 

[Mickey02]

Sorry about your brother. I hope there is a good explaination for his behavior.

 

[sugarpie]

Are we sharing the same brother, somehow???

I haven't reached the point you are at, but I know where you're coming from.

 

[Andy B]

OMG!!!!! What a total cad!!!!!! I'm crossing my fingers AND my toes that the other folks get in there in time!!!! Hugs to you!!!!

Great to see someone using the word Cad! Terry Thomas would be proud of you. (Look him up)

 

[LindaR]

I agree with another poster. Why on earth would you put yourself at risk by loaning him money? If you had extra money in a savings account, that would be one thing.....but to send him YOUR mortgage money???? That sounds pretty irresponsible on your part!

I know you are angry with him AND you have every right to be....BUT, you are equally responsible for the mess you are in now.

 

[N&B'smom]

Oh my gosh!! That is so hurtful of him. I REALLY hope the other people get the cottage and you get your money back. I think having your bro pack up his stuff and show up expecting to move in to an already occupied cottage will definitely get your point across. You simply must keep us posted on this one!!!

Shelby

 

[N&B'smom]

I just have to say only on these types of boards would someone who has basically had her money stolen by her bro be told it was her fault. How about a little support!?!??!

Shelby

 

[LindaR]

The money was not stolen, it was given.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I just have to say only on these types of boards would someone who has basically had her money stolen by her bro be told it was her fault. How about a little support!?!??!

Shelby

I'm not saying it's her fault. At my house, mortgage money is mortgage money. No discussion. I would never lend someone who had financially burned me in the past my mortgage money on the condition they would pay me back. I can't make my mortgage payment now. I knew what I was getting into.

Is personal responsibility, not assigning blame.

 

[LBelle]

I am all done. As much as I am angry, I am more hurt that he would do this to me! As far as he knows, I can't pay my mortgage (I can because I have emergency funds) and he doesn't care. Yet, he is in CA packing up his things, as if all is well.

I wonder what is is going to do when he gets here with all his stuff and finds he has no house to move into?

I agree with another poster. Why on earth would you put yourself at risk by loaning him money? If you had extra money in a savings account, that would be one thing.....but to send him YOUR mortgage money???? That sounds pretty irresponsible on your part!

I know you are angry with him AND you have every right to be....BUT, you are equally responsible for the mess you are in now.

Hmmmmm.......you probably should have read the OP's post entirely!!!!

As for the 2nd statement......nice!!!!

 

[LBelle]

I just have to say only on these types of boards would someone who has basically had her money stolen by her bro be told it was her fault. How about a little support!?!??!

Shelby

Exactly!!!!!

The money was not stolen, it was given.

Wow!!!! Just wow!!!!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

My mortgage needs to be paid and without the $950 in my account, I can't pay the mortgage.

As far as he knows, I can't pay my mortgage (I can because I have emergency funds) and he doesn't care.

Not flaming you, but which is it? Either you can pay your mortgage with emergency funds, or you can't pay your mortgage without the $950 in your account.

 

[Abbie]

Since he has burned you in the past, why did you think this time would be any different? You took a HUGE risk giving him money you could have used towards your mortgage.

It's called "hope". Hope that "this time" things would be different, hope that her brother was making the changes in his life that he said he was, hope that things were turning around. And trusting once more that he meant what he said.

I don't think the OP's post has all that much to do with the money and I'm sure she's angry with herself as much as she's angry with her brother for risking such a large amount. But it sounded like (to me) that she was more sad and disappointed that her brother would take advantage of his own sister and abuse the trust she placed in him. If you saw her post earlier, she was terrified that something had happened to him. Now she finds out that he's perfectly fine, but ignoring her and letting her worry AND seems to have no intention of repaying the money.

To the OP, I hope you will stick to your guns about not lending your brother any more money since he's made it clear he can't/won't repay. But it sounds like you do love him (family relationships can be so complicated!) so I hope you find a way to love him without having to necessarily trust or rely on him, just for your own peace of mind if nothing else. Good luck.