For those who have spouses who work out of town

[grinningghost]

DH now works for the railroad and is out of town frequently. So far, I'm handling it fine, but I'm wondering if it gets easier or harder as time goes by?

 

[DCLuvinit]

My DH is out of town 3 weeks a month!! It was hard at first, but now I'm getting used to it - which makes me feel bad to say....He is coming home TODAY though! What usually happens is it takes a few days for us to re-adjust to being together, then by the time he has to leave we are comfortable again and we have to start the cycle all over . We talk on the phone a lot though - thank goodness he has unlimited minutes on his cell phone!

 

[mickeyfan1]

My DH travels about 70% of the month. He has done it off and on for the last 11 years. I have never minded, when he first started I had my high school aged DS for company (?), and then I just got used to it. I think the hardest adjustment was that I got into a routine of what I have to do, and when he was at home (working from home), it would foul up my routine. Now he travels usually only M-F, and I don't work, so it's just me and the dogs during the week, and my routine is good. He calls usually once a trip, just to check in.

For some people, there is never an adjustment, but I hope it gets better for you.

 

[Planogirl]

Mine travels a lot and I'm pretty used to it now. The only annoying thing is when he pops in unexpected or leaves town at the last minute. His travel days are very inconsistent.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

My dad is often away on business and though I can't say for sure since I live kind of far from my parent's house, my mom seems to get along fine.

 

[grinningghost]

Since DH has an "on call" job, it's very hard to plan anything together. I think that's the most difficult part. I agree that my routine gets messed up because of that. I think DD likes that he's away so often - because he's the stricter of us.

 

[Allie322]

I found it harder when my kids were younger. Until they got to be school age, it was tough not having that relief at night when DH would come home, and I could have 10 minutes of peace. Now that the kids are in school, we don't have a problem with DH traveling.

 

[kasar]

I agree with Allie. It's very hard with small children - you're basically stuck in the house at night when they go to sleep. I felt like I was a single parent most of the time (I have GREAT respect for single parents now!).

Now that they're getting older, it's getting easier. In the next few years I'll be able to leave my kids home alone and then it will be much better. But at least they're in school during the day so I can get things done and I usually don't have to run out at night.

In some ways it stinks but in others it's fine - I pretty much do what I want and I get to make the decisions and there isn't that "but Dad said I could" stuff. DH doesn't travel as much as he used to but still works late hours so it's pretty much the same thing as far as the kids are concerned.

 

[Simba's Mom]

At least I know I'm not alone here. DH travels alot for business. VERY frequent flier! When he first started we had 2 young kids, and that was hard to deal with. Now that they're grown, it's not so bad most of the time, except sometimes I miss having someone around to do "male"-type things (plumbing, car repair, lawn-work, etc. Yes, I know this sounds sexist). The only thing that's gotten much worse in the last few years is that he travels alot internationally, and with all that's going on in the world, I get very nervous. Like he went to China during the SARS epidemic, he had a trip to Morocco cancelled at the last minute when company security called him saying it was unsafe, he was in Italy when the terrorists took Italians hostage recently. Although the incident happened in Iraq, all I heard on the quick news blurb was "terrorists take 6 (?)Italians hostage". So generally, it does get better if you don't have young kids, but not if your DH is an international flier.