? for hockey parents

[Disneycrazymom]

Hi guys, I know some of you are out there!!
Help me decide how much is too much please. My Ds 11 has just started this year. We didn't know that they start before birth with the training. Anyway he is doing well but is very behind his peer group. The coach suggested that we use the off season to improve his skills with extra ice time/ camps. No problem, we love the kid so we'll sign him up. Well we got the reccommedation on Sat. and they are suggesting he do 4 different camps and join 2 teams (one is a just for fun leage and the other is a "real " team). This means he will be at the rink everyday. Like I said I love my son and want him to do well, so my question is should I really do this? Beside the expense we will miss a lot of lake time. Ds really wants to make a good team next season, but what if we do this and he still doesn't. Thanks for listening!

 

[Jeafl]

I know exactly what you are talking about! My 11-year old son son has been playing hockey since he was 3 years old. Actually, he started tot hockey lessons at three, but has been playing on a league team since he was 5. My husband also coaches his team.

If you want my honest opinion, I would sign him up for one or two of the camps, or maybe one (week-long) camp and the fun league and call it good. My son lives and breathes hockey for the most part, but I think 2 camps and 2 teams will burn your son out. The camps are really great for skill building, but they are a LOT of work. Your son will probably be exhausted when he gets home, and the last thing he'll probably want to do is go for more practice or a game with the team. Also, you may have a problem with 2 teams having games and practices that overlap.

If you want, I can call or email my husband at work and ask him his opinion. He's been coaching a long time, and has worked with kids that have been skating forever as well as kids just starting out. He has a pretty good handle on these kinds of things. Let me know if you need more info. Good luck to your son!

 

[damo]

Hello fellow hockey mom. I have a DS, 15, who is deep into rep hockey and has been for a while. Our lives are basically scheduled around him. It is very easy to turn a kid off hockey so my advice is not to overdo it. We saw the most improvement by enrolling him in weekly power skating. He did camps now and then but doesn't really like them since you don't actually spend a lot of time on the ice. I would suggest power skating and a shooting class. Or power skating and a fun league over the summer. Another thing that my son says really helps is playing the computer hockey games since the games teach the kids to see the play and learn to play without the puck.

Just don't rush him too much or he'll not want to play at all. We have hockey four days a week minimum. I would suggest two or three for a beginner.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

I am not a hockey mom... but I am a sports mom... does that count? LOL

My question is.... what does your son want to do??!?

 

[TarraLee]

Disneycrazymom,
My brother plays competitvely in the StL area, he's 15, and has played since 3. They do start young here. He lives and breathes hockey, playing year-round, he is always playing on two teams at once, although they are different summer than winter. He loves it!

He said the best preparation for him was stick and puck/open ice with a coach we knew drilling him. One-on-one, focused help, flexible schedule, etc. Maybe you could find a high-school/College age player that your sons looks up to, and use this to supplement a camp and fun league this summer.

Honestly, if your son is dedicated and willing to work hard, then I would give him every opportunity I could give him. Maybe it would help to ask the coach where his specific weaknesses are (skating/playing position/reading the play/puck handling/etc) and try to set up a summer schedule that focuses on those?

Best of luck to you, and to your son!

 

[nativetxn]

Ask your son what he wants to do. 4 camps seems like a lot.

My son played hockey from age 4 and until he graduated from high school. His Texas university had no ice rink much less a hockey team and he missed it very much.

He attended Michigan State University "camps" for hockey and they were not just fun and games. They worked them hard and he came home absolutely exhausted. He loved it though.

His camps were "sleep away" though. He lived on campus during those weeks and I didn't have to worry about transporting him back and forth.

Good luck with this.

 

[hockeymom7691]

Hello,

My 12 yr old has been playing hockey since he was 5. He plays on a travel team that is involved with two leagues. His team plays an average of 50 games + per season.

My opinion is to do one camp and the fun league or one camp and the "serious" league. Anytime on the ice will help with his skills.

My son has never played a spring league (for fun), bue he does attend one camp in June. Once his travel season (besides the camp in June) is over, it's on to baseball. This will be his first year of doing spring just for the fun of it. He wants to keep his hockey legs ready for the camp.

If you son loves hockey, he must love to roller blade. My son is usually outside on his roller blades playing hockey every chance he gets during the summer. This also helps especially if they use a ball instead of a puck.

Good Luck and remember that the most important thing is that he is having fun!

 

[damo]

You could look for a roller hockey league for the summer. It is similar to ice hockey but different. My DS plays both sports an prefers the roller hockey. There is no body contact and only 4 kids per side. It is great fun!!!!

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Thanks everyone,

My son would like to quit school and live at the rink, so he wants to do it all. When he is at home he is either watching hockey, playing roller hockey, or playing hockey on the computer. Can we say obsession!?

I am a bit worried about burn out, but more in the respect that he will not be able to play at the same level as the other players. We have sent off an e-mail to his coach for some better direction. All of your thoughts have helped me to sort of clarify where this is going for myself. DH and I feel badly that we made him wait so long to start, and want to do what we can to make up for the time lost as long as he still wants to do the work and thinks it will be fun.

TarraLee where does your brother play? We are with the Comets in Creve Coeur. I like the idea of one on one coaching. Maybe your brother would like a job!

 

[nativetxn]

My son lived in Creve Coeur for one summer while he worked as a scenic designer for Stages Repertory Theatre.

If he had known there was a hocky team there he would have volunteered to coach. He's in Houston now, though. He missed his chance.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

NativeTx it is a small world sometimes! I wish he was still here, I bet he's a great coach!

 

[padisneyfan]

As a long time hockey mom whose children are now young adults in college, I just have to add a few comments here. Our entire family has been involved in hockey for over 15 years, DH coaches, both sons played in youth hockey and DS#2 plays college club hockey, and I have served on BOD for our youth hockey organization, tournament coordinator and currently a VP in our High school league.

Always remember that hockey is a game meant for the children to enjoy. As parents many feel pressured to have their children keep up with other players that are more skilled or to be the best player on their team. I have seen tremendous pressure placed on some children to excel at each game. As a tournament director, I have gotten to see alot of behind the scene events that most people will not be exposed to. What is happening to these children in the long run is that they are burning out. You won't see it at the younger ages, but as they get into their teenage years it is being noticed more and more. These children have now been playing hockey for mutiple years on several teams all year round and they are just burned out from the game. Some of the most talented players are no longer playing the game.

When my children first started to play hockey, there was actually a season. It started in Mid Oct and ended in March. There were no rinks that were year round. Children did other sports. The best team that one of my sons played on and went to USA hockey National Championship for 17-U had players who did not participate in hockey year round. These players played varsity soccer, football, golf. track and field, baseball. It was hard to play games at the beginning of the hockey season because of so many conflicts with the other sports. Nearly everyone of these players went onto either Junior A, Division III hockey or college club hockey. So you can be successful and not spend 12 months a year at a rink.

My message to you, is let you child enjoy hockey. In most areas there are teams available for all levels of players to play from in house programs, B travel teams, and much more competetive A, AA and AAA travel programs. If you feel that your son isn't capable of playing on this team, you might be able to find a better match for him on another team. Our family has had wonderful experience through our hockey years and we look back fondly on those years. Just enjoy hockey for the fun of it.

Off my soapbox now.

Nancy

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Oh dear, I think you may have the wrong impression. I would be fine, happy, to have him play on the house team, continue indoor soccer, hang at the pool for the summer. That is exactly how we have got into this position of being behind. No one at our house believes this child will be a pro-player! My son would like to make a team, practice hard and be able to play for a high school team in 3 years. Those are his goals and I think are reasonable. He is the one that wants to take all the clinics and play on both teams. We are trying to figure the best "bang for our buck" in terms of time and money spent to help him reach his goal. If we are anything we are parents that are encouraging him NOT to play, definitly not pushing him to do more and more! Thank-you for the insight.

 

[dmfuru]

How well does your son skate? If he is behind in skating, I'd emphasize skating classes (power skating, as mentioned in above posts) above all. It's important that he be able to stop in either direction (left or right foot forward), turn in either direction, get up to speed from a standing start, etc. Have him go to public skate sessions to practice, practice, practice.
If his skating is good, then I'd concentrate on camps to improve hockey skills. Also, team practices can be very helpful.
Although the games are a lot of fun, they are probably the least important part of skills development. The coaches can't do a lot of teaching during a game--it's best to learn the skills (ie stick handling, shooting, backhands, checking--stick or body, positioning, passing, etc) in practices.

Note to the St Louis crew--My nephew lives in StL and played for a Spring team called Delta--you've probably heard of it. They had 2-3 practices a week for several weeks and didn't play an actual game til a tournament later on that Spring. The skills he developed were incredible--I couldn't believe the difference in his play.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Delta is one of the Spring teams suggested! It was a good experience? That is pretty much what we were told but it is so nice to hear someone confirm that skills were improved! Thank-you so much. I feel better just to hear that your nephew improved with this program. Thanks to everyone for all your help, I think we are starting to sort out what will work for us.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

I dug up this old thread to share the good news. DS made a house team!!!!!!!!!!!

We are so proud of him! He worked so hard all summer and did pretty good at the try outs. He is by far not the best player out there BUT he is so much better than when he started last fall.

To anyone who was a "late starter" in hockey don't give up it is possible to still play!

Thanks again for all the great advice.

 

[TarraLee]

Disneycrazymom,
Congrats to your son! Sending him some pixie dust for a great season!

 

[Jeafl]

Congratulations! Hope he has a fun season.

 

[FayeW]

We are in a similar situation, sort of. Our son, turning 8 next month, has just started hockey. All of his friends play, but he has been ambivalent about it until this year. He played soccer for the first time this past season, and we saw such growth in his confidence and ability from the beginning of the season until the end, that we thought that putting him on another team sport for the winter would be good for him.

The problem is that I have a real chip on my shoulder about this whole hockey thing. It seems like to put your child in a house league is to make a lifestyle choice for your family! It is so different from soccer, and it really frustrates me ( I knew from our friends it would be this way, which is why we didn't sign him up at 4 like everybody else.) In addition to the fees and the equipment, apparently we have to pay more for additional ice time for more practices, and then the 2 tournaments. My question is this: Why can't they just play what we paid for??? The registration is for 20 practices and 20 games over 20 weeks. Why do they need more, and why can't the extra time be paid for on an per use basis, i.e, if I don't want to send my son to more hockey than I originally paid for, why am I obligated? We have already made plans for March break, but apparently we are required to pay the extra cost of the tournament, even though A) I signed up for the 20 practices/20 games ONLY, and B) I've given them 6 months notice that we aren't going to be here.

Don't even get me started on the early morning weekend practices. Apparently, at some times, they will practice at 6:00 a.m, and it may be a the rink 5 mins from our house, or 20 mins, or even further. Is it possible that I am the only hockey parent in North America that thinks it is ludicrous to wake up an 8 yr old at 4:45, 2.5 hours before he would normally wake, for RECREATION?? Where do these people draw the line? Recreational hockey is supposed to be about kids having fun, getting out and getting some exercise instead of sitting in the house in front of the TV or computer. Games and practices at the crack of dawn ( and before!) are NOT meeting this need, and then you are left with a tired, cranky, sleep deprived child for the rest of the weekend. Do these hockey leagues understand that these children have families, and they other members of those families have other needs, responsibilities, and interests? The other hockey parents will all say " OH, but the kids really love it!" and I say, Yeah,they love alot of things; my kid really loves to play Nintendo, but I'm not waking him up at 5 o'clock in the morning to do it!! Why do you hockey parents allow this? It is like there is a hockey mafia out there and they can't be questioned or challenged.

I have a feeling that this will be his one and only season. He is enjoying it, but it is just too intrusive in our family life. Thanks for letting me vent. (Not that anybody had a choice!)

 

[damo]

Originally posted by FayeW
! It is so different from soccer, and it really frustrates me ( I knew from our friends it would be this way, which is why we didn't sign him up at 4 like everybody else.) In addition to the fees and the equipment, apparently we have to pay more for additional ice time for more practices, and then the 2 tournaments. My question is this: Why can't they just play what we paid for??? The registration is for 20 practices and 20 games over 20 weeks. Why do they need more, and why can't the extra time be paid for on an per use basis, i.e, if I don't want to send my son to more hockey than I originally paid for, why am I obligated? We have already made plans for March break, but apparently we are required to pay the extra cost of the tournament, even though A) I signed up for the 20 practices/20 games ONLY, and B) I've given them 6 months notice that we aren't going to be here.

Don't even get me started on the early morning weekend practices. Apparently, at some times, they will practice at 6:00 a.m, and it may be a the rink 5 mins from our house, or 20 mins, or even further. Is it possible that I am the only hockey parent in North America that thinks it is ludicrous to wake up an 8 yr old at 4:45, 2.5 hours before he would normally wake, for RECREATION?? Where do these people draw the line? Recreational hockey is supposed to be about kids having fun, getting out and getting some exercise instead of sitting in the house in front of the TV or computer. Games and practices at the crack of dawn ( and before!) are NOT meeting this need, and then you are left with a tired, cranky, sleep deprived child for the rest of the weekend. Do these hockey leagues understand that these children have families, and they other members of those families have other needs, responsibilities, and interests? The other hockey parents will all say " OH, but the kids really love it!" and I say, Yeah,they love alot of things; my kid really loves to play Nintendo, but I'm not waking him up at 5 o'clock in the morning to do it!! Why do you hockey parents allow this? It is like there is a hockey mafia out there and they can't be questioned or challenged.

I have a feeling that this will be his one and only season. He is enjoying it, but it is just too intrusive in our family life. Thanks for letting me vent. (Not that anybody had a choice!)

Well, first of all, ice is limited. If it wasn't, I'm sure little kids wouldn't be practising at 5am. We've been through it all for the past 8 years and I wouldn't trade it for the world. If you aren't going to be able to do it, then please remove your child from the team. Hockey is a committment to other players and families. If you do not intend on honouring the committment then you should not be there. The reason people do these things is because the children and the parents love the game and are willing to make sacrifices for it. Please, don't ruin it for the team if you are unwilling to meet the demands of the game. It sounds like the coach has laid out all the requirements in advance. This is done so that families who cannot make this requirements, choose another sport.