For Divorced Parents:

[NMAmy]

In NMAmy World, Christmas is next Sunday.

Do you have your kids for the holiday this year? If not, what do you do to celebrate?

Last year, we had dd for Christmas--we went to WDW for 2 weeks. It's going to be impossible to top that so we're going the traditional Christmas route this year.

DD leaves for her dad's on the 23rd. Which means I totally recreate Christmas this Sunday. Saturday will be Christmas Eve with Christmas movies and a nice dinner. Sunday, Santa will have come and we'll open our gifts and DH will make a huge breakfast. Later in the day, we'll probably go to a movie. I'm pushing for dinner out this year instead of cooking a big meal at home. We had Christmas with the extended family last Saturday and it was a blast.

The nice thing about this is that as of Sunday, I'm done. No more shopping. No more baking. No more wrapping. The bad part is that this week, in addition to working full-time, I'm baking, shopping and wrapping! I'm off work from the 24th through the 3rd so I can just relax and take it easy--dh and I will take in some movies and do some projects around the house, take down the trees, and just relax and enjoy each other's company. I'm really looking forward to that week right about now!

And since I recreate the holiday so well, none of us feel like we've missed out.

How about you?

 

[PrincessDeb]

My husband's ex is a nurse so she always has to work either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Her work schedule is usually the opposite of my son's custody schedule with my ex. My husband and I used to gripe about it, but now we love it. This year, my son will be with me on Christmas Eve and then will go to his dad's around noon or so on Christmas. Around the same time, my two stepdaughters will come over from their mom's and spend the rest of the day with us including eating a big supper. Next year will be the opposite. We usually "do" Christmas in our families and everyone comes over and spends the day so they can see all the kids. This way, we have kids unwrapping presents all day! It certainly keeps us festive...
Deb

 

[4greatboys]

My 2 oldest boys have gone to their dads when they get out of school for the holidays and stayed til late Christmas Eve then always have been with me for Christmas day. When we divorced they were 3 and 7 so they still believed in Santa and I always the Santa stuff. Now they are older 18 and 15 and have gone the past couple of years when they wanted to and come home when they wanted to though they have always spent Christmas day with me.

 

[BabyTigger99]

This year we will pick up DSD about noon on Christmas Eve, after she is done with her mom's house, and do a typical Christmas morning at our house on the 25th.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

DD is with her father all christmas weekend. I don't really celebrate christmas, so it doesn't bother me.

 

[mudnuri]

They'll be with me christmas eve, overnight and back at their dads christmas morning around 10is. It's his weekend, butmy family has always done christmas eve, and his christmas day, so it works this way

Brandy

 

[bsnyder]

We live just minutes away from my ex and all his family, so we've always "shared" Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Since I'm remarried, we also have DH's family in the mix. On Christmas Eve the boys go to Mass with their dad's family, and then to my family's Christmas Eve party and then to their dad's family's Christmas Eve party. On Christmas morning, they'll open gifts with us, then head to my former in-laws for brunch and presents with their dad, and then to DH's parents house for a late lunch and more present opening. It's a lot of bouncing around for them, but they've never seemed to mind.

In the early days of our divorce, the boys were little (2 and 3) and my ex used to come over early on Christmas morning to do the stockings, marvel at the stuff Santa brought and watch them open their gifts.

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

In the early days of our divorce, the boys were little (2 and 3) and my ex used to come over early on Christmas morning to do the stockings, marvel at the stuff Santa brought and watch them open their gifts.

:thewave:

I was looking for an applause smiley--but could not find one. What a truly selfless gift, and one I know many children of divorce would appreciate--even the older ones.

 

[F1Julie]

DD will spend Christmas Eve from 9AM to 9AM on Christmas Day with her dad and then I'll pick her up at 9 on Christmas morning. That's the way its divided out in our custody agreement. It makes it really easy for Santa to come to our house

 

[NMAmy]

We used to do some of the same variations that you all do but since I now live about 2000 miles away from my ex--one or the other of us just has dd for the whole Christmas break. Since she's 15, it's not such a big issue and we don't have any worries about Santa arriving at one house a week early.

I'm so good at recreating the holiday that when my dad had a stroke on 12/22 three years ago, the nurse kept insisting that Christmas was coming and he kept telling her no, we'd already celebrated it. She thought he was confused on the date until I pointed out that he was absolutely right.

 

[momof3disneyholics]

My kids are always with me on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Their Dad comes over about 10:00am on Christmas morning (just in time to help clean up the sea of wrapping paper) and spends the day with us and has Christmas Dinner with us too. This year he'll be over for a few hours on Christmas Eve too.

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

My kids are always with me on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Their Dad comes over about 10:00am on Christmas morning (just in time to help clean up the sea of wrapping paper) and spends the day with us and has Christmas Dinner with us too. This year he'll be over for a few hours on Christmas Eve too.

:thewave:

A big round of applause to you too. That is awesome.

 

[momof3disneyholics]

Thanks! Alot of people think it is strange that we have such a good relationship, but I don't see the point in NOT being friends. We had 10 years together and 3 kids, so why not try to get along. He actually gets along great with my DH and they have actually done things like going to the movies or going shopping together.

 

[christinadei]

We alternate weeks. DS is out of school for 2 weeks. This year I get him the first 1/2 and Christmas Day. His father is supposed to get him from 2-6 Christmas day, but we made an agreement that the parent who doesn't have him, gets to pick him up at 2 for the next week. So I'll have him until 2 Christmas day and his father will have him from 2 Christmas day until the following weekend. We alternate like this, next year he'll get him the first week and until 2 Christmas day.

 

[TnKrBeLlA012]

This is just an observation. I really think how lucky I have been. My parents were not divorced. We never had to rotate holidays with a parent. I'm also glad I'm not divorced. My kids never have to spend holidays deciding who's turn is it this year. It just seems to be so many divorced people out there. It makes me wonder how kids handle all the rotating?

 

[NMAmy]

This is just an observation. I really think how lucky I have been. My parents were not divorced. We never had to rotate holidays with a parent. I'm also glad I'm not divorced. My kids never have to spend holidays deciding who's turn is it this year. It just seems to be so many divorced people out there. It makes me wonder how kids handle all the rotating?

Well, yes, you're lucky and your kids are lucky. I never thought I'd get divorced, either, but things happen that you can't always control.

As you can see on this thread--I'm really the only divorced parent whose child doesn't spend at least part of Christmas Day with both parents. Divorced parents can work really hard to try to act in the best interest of their child. My ex and I are a long way apart so dd spends the entire school break with one or the other of us.

She's 15 and she does enjoy having two Christmases. She spends time with DH and I and her extended family here and then with my ex and his extended family in New Mexico or else they go to South Dakota. She gets in a lot of family time with both sides of her family.

I'll tell you what I told dd when she was young--Life is what you make of it. You make lemonade out of lemons. I can recreate Christmas with all the traditions she is used to having and we have a fabulous time--then she spends time with her dad and his family and they have a great time. It doesn't have to be a wretched situation unless you choose to make it so. No one has a perfect life and you just work with what you've got.

 

[bsnyder]

It doesn't have to be a wretched situation unless you choose to make it so. No one has a perfect life and you just work with what you've got.

Here, here! ITA!

 

[TEENEE]

Our normal Christmas routine is my kids go to their dads Christmas eve and I get them back around 2:00 Christmas day. This year will be different. My DH wants to go to Ohio to spend Christmas with his dad. My ex agreed to let the kids go to Ohio with us. So my kids will have Christmas with their dad on the 21st. I'm kind of anxious about the whole change. I've never been away from my family for Christmas. My in laws are great so there is no problem with that whole aspect. Our holiday will just be different and more relaxed then we are used to. Wish us luck.

 

[TEENEE]

oops, double post

 

[Cindyluwho]

This is just an observation. I really think how lucky I have been. My parents were not divorced. We never had to rotate holidays with a parent. I'm also glad I'm not divorced. My kids never have to spend holidays deciding who's turn is it this year. It just seems to be so many divorced people out there. It makes me wonder how kids handle all the rotating?

Maybe this will help you understand. MY parents divorced when I was 5 yo. The best time of the year was Christmas! We celebrated Christmas twice! Once on Christmas Eve with my Dad and that side of the family and Christmas day was spent with my mother and her husband. Not only do you get wayyy more presents, but you actually work your parents against each other and get almost anything you wanted! Now, please understand, I'm being somewhat "tongue in cheek" here, but it really doesn't have to be traumatic. My best memories are of spending Christmas Eve with my cousins, Grandparents etc from my Dad's side of the family. I'm definately not a cheerleader for divorce, by any means, but if counseling, etc doesn't work and there's violence or something involved...well, sometimes divorce is the answer.