FL Surrogate Wants To Keep Baby AND Get Child Support

[jayssababy]

I did my surrogacy through IVF, so the intended parents didn't want to have to spend another $16,000 approximately for that plus my expenses. I also had some life threatening complications during my pregnancy (placenta previa) and nearly bleed to death. I had to have an emergency c-section, which was never required with my own four children.

In response to the person that asked, why we didn't use an attonery. The contracts were drafted and signed and the only thing the parents had to do was a step parent adoption for the mother. This was done very easily without an attorney. So I guess the answer is "trust". That is the key to all surrogacy arrangements. It doesn't matter how many ends you cover and how many precaustions you take, you must trust one another.

In some cases it just doesnt work out but it the vast majority it does and there are thousands of happy families and surrogates all over the world.

In the article metioned on surromomsonline.com, back in February, I think, she was already saying that she was going to keep the baby then she said she wasnt going to and sent a long email staing that she did intend to relinquish all parental rights and give the baby to the intended parents.

Then she changed her mind once more. The parents deided to proceed with the nursey and cribs etc, since they had high hopes. And no matter what, this child will have time with her father, so they'll need all of these things anyway. The surrogate cannot keep him from the baby for much longer because the court will enforce his parental rights to isitation if not shared of full custody.

There are many circumstances under investigation in this case that very well may show this women to be unfit, fraudulent and even a repeat offender int his matter. She has a child that she admits is from a gestational surrogacy but she claims she carried this child for her lesbian lover. How daoes that make any sense, so we feel that there may be another victim out there.

Thank you for the positive thoughts and well wishes.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

ITA

The birth mother is the biological mother and thus has those rights. The contract not being signed is a big big problem. I think they will end up paying child support for the kid.

Agree.

Why the people did this so sloppily is beyond me.

How sad for the baby.

 

[ducklite]

I wonder though if this could happen if the surrogate's egg wasn't used. I would think there could be no legal way a surrogate could keep the baby if it wasn't biologically hers. Anyone know about this?

The way I understand it, had it been a donated egg and the surrogate was simply providing a womb, she would have no legal claim to it, as she would not be the bio mother.

Anne

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The way I understand it, had it been a donated egg and the surrogate was simply providing a womb, she would have no legal claim to it, as she would not be the bio mother.

Anne

Right, legally she is the bio mother and she never signed the papers on top of that.
What kind of lawyer did they have? Degree from CrackerJack Box?
I am not a lawyer but the parents seem really stupid.

 

[TDC Nala]

I bolded the two parts that cause the major issue with me, they should have used donor eggs, instead they have a birth mother with a biological child and the husband is the father. They also should have made sure the contract was signed prior to the insemination.

true. Now she has the biological right to the child, and no obvious contract. The contractual relationship will have to be inferred.

If he's the father, he'd have some sort of biological right as well...a court could at the least order visitation.

Sounds to me like the contracting parents didn't have a lawyer because I'd guess any lawyer would tell them not to be so darned trusting in what is essentially a business arrangement.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Oh so they didn't have a lawyer? They deserve what they get.

However it is the kid that sufferers from their stupidity.

 

[poohandwendy]

So I guess the answer is "trust". That is the key to all surrogacy arrangements. It doesn't matter how many ends you cover and how many precaustions you take, you must trust one another.

See, now that makes no sense.

It should read, "No matter how much you trust, the key to surrogacy arrangements is how many ends you cover and how many precautions you take", just like any other transaction that requires a contract. It surprises me to hear someone with your background not seeing it that way.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I have not read the thread... Just this last page here.

In actuality, it does not matter how many lawyers and contracts there are between the two. In most every State, a woman cannot relinquish her maternal rights until AFTER the child is born. And, even then, there is usually a waiting period in which she can rescind her signature.

It also does not matter, contractually, how much money has been payed to a surrogate mother. Money for a baby is 'baby-selling' and would be illegal.

So, in this case, any person who hires a surrogate mother is in limbo from the time she becomes pregnant, until the time that she willingly signs the paper relinquishing her maternal rights.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So, in this case, any person who hires a surrogate mother is in limbo from the time she becomes pregnant, until the time that she willingly signs the paper relinquishing her maternal rights.

Good point.
However using the surrogates own egg was foolish.

 

[Wishing on a star]

True!!!!

That is the easier route... since egg donation and IVF are very very expensive.
And, remember, only in the last few years have doner-egg and IVF had an acceptable success rate. I don't know what the legal precedent is, but in the past, most all surrogates were simply impregnated with the fathers sperm donation.

However, donor egg or not, the birth mother could still put the couple thru this in court. The couple would simply have a better chance at winning custody if it were proven that the surrogate had no biological link to the child.

In no way is the prospective couple ever guaranteed to simply walk out of that hospital nursery with the baby. They may not like to think about that. But, it is the reality that should be considered.

 

[Beth76]

See, now that makes no sense.

It should read, "No matter how much you trust, the key to surrogacy arrangements is how many ends you cover and how many precautions you take", just like any other transaction that requires a contract. It surprises me to hear someone with your background not seeing it that way.

Thank you for saying that. I was thinking the exact same thing.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

In no way is the prospective couple ever guaranteed to simply walk out of that hospital nursery with the baby. They may not like to think about that. But, it is the reality that should be considered.

I don't think that is completely true, If the egg and sperm belong to the couple, they do have the right to "walk out" of the nursery with the baby, because it is biologically theirs. In this case the surrogate has no rights to the baby. Couples are using their own embryos more and more, because of things like this happening. U.nless they are like this couple and are trying to "cut corners", and this is certainly not where I would cut corners.

Suzanne

 

[happygirl]

That is truly an evil woman

 

[va32h]

I did my surrogacy through IVF, so the intended parents didn't want to have to spend another $16,000 approximately for that plus my expenses.

So how much were they planning to on paying this woman? Less than $16,000 - it would have to be substantially less to justify not using you, right? I mean, they wouldn't ditch a trusted surrogate to save five bucks.

And you didn't even phrase it as "they couldn't afford" so apparently it's just a matter of being to cheap to pay the going rate for surrogacy.

So they tried to cut corners and find someone on the internet and not use lawyers, just to save a few bucks, and now they are whining because it didn't work out?

I'm sure the child will be happy to find out one day that she was the bargain basement baby.

 

[SomeonesPawPaw]

My name is Rebekah and I live near Tampa. If any of you are in the listening area of 93.3 (Tampa, St. Louis and Jacksonville), i was just on there show this morning about this. I found this online when I googled the situation. Who cares if you don't believe me, the facts are what they are anyway. You'll see me on the news at some point in the future. In fact I am hear witht the family today with two of my children about to do an interview for CBS News. Why would I take the time to point out all of this stuff if I wasn't there surrogate.

And this is not "the only place in the world discussing this". I will continue to find this topic and defend it because I am involved and I am tired of people bashing surrogacy and those involved.

Rebekah

I personally know the surrogate MOM in question and have known this woman for well over 10 years now. I also know a whole lot more about this situation than what is being played in the media right now. Let me just say this and I will be done with this whole thing. There are 2 sides to every story and right now you are only getting one side "The Tom and Gwyn Lamintina Side". I think when you get to finally here the other side of the STORY you all will be saying OMG WE ARE SO SORRY, You were right in NOT giving them that baby, we are really and truely sorry what can we do to help you. All of you can sit here and say this and say that and what about this and what about that, well what if this and what if that. Let the courts do there job and we will all get to see what the final outcome is. Lets all not be so quick to JUDGE anyone for what they think is the RIGHT CHOICE.

 

[ducklite]

I personally know the surrogate MOM in question and have known this woman for well over 10 years now. I also know a whole lot more about this situation than what is being played in the media right now. Let me just say this and I will be done with this whole thing. There are 2 sides to every story and right now you are only getting one side "The Tom and Gwyn Lamintina Side". I think when you get to finally here the other side of the STORY you all will be saying OMG WE ARE SO SORRY, You were right in NOT giving them that baby, we are really and truely sorry what can we do to help you. All of you can sit here and say this and say that and what about this and what about that, well what if this and what if that. Let the courts do there job and we will all get to see what the final outcome is. Lets all not be so quick to JUDGE anyone for what they think is the RIGHT CHOICE.

Another interesting first post on this thread. If the borth mother is so credible, why isn't she speaking to the press, at least through her attorney.

Anne

 

[SomeonesPawPaw]

Another interesting first post on this thread. If the borth mother is so credible, why isn't she speaking to the press, at least through her attorney.

Anne

Because under the advice of the attorney she has been told not to say anything.(that is why we pay them so much money, "Advice") I will tell you to look for a statement to be released soon in this whole matter. The lawyer has to make sure that all the law suits that are going to be required are filed. And at the rate of all this negative talk from everyone you are all judge and jury and have convicted this woman in your own minds and she may never get them all filed.

 

[ducklite]

Because under the advice of the attorney she has been told not to say anything.(that is why we pay them so much money, "Advice") I will tell you to look for a statement to be released soon in this whole matter. The lawyer has to make sure that all the law suits that are going to be required are filed. And at the rate of all this negative talk from everyone you are all judge and jury and have convicted this woman in your own minds and she may never get them all filed.

How on earth would chatter on an Internet board preclude a plaintiff from filing a lawsuit?

Anne

 

[va32h]

Well I've been looking for updates on this story -- nothing in the news, but I did find the case being discussed on a board for surrogate moms...interestingly, one woman came forward and said that she had spoken with the couple about being their surrogate but declined "for very specific reasons" but she wouldn't go into detail.

Another woman said she'd talked to the couple years ago, and at that time they claimed to be married although they later admitted that they weren't and they wanted her to enter into a "co-parenting" agreement in which she actually would share custody of the baby, and not a traditional surrogacy.

Of course you have to take everything online with a grain of salt...

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Originally Posted by SomeonesPawPaw
I think when you get to finally here the other side of the STORY you all will be saying OMG WE ARE SO SORRY, You were right in NOT giving them that baby, we are really and truely sorry what can we do to help you.

I don't think I'll be saying that.

But here's a link for you:

http://www.m-w.com/