feeling very mortal tonite

[muffyn]

I know many members here have used this board for a sounding board, & I am feeling tonight like I just have to write somewhere.
so you can ignore this if you want. & sorry if I am wasting space for others.

someone who I know, her husband has been declared brain dead & will have his life terminated in the next day or so.
he went in hospital a week ago, with problems of blood pressure, they determined he had a silent major heart attack recently & he went downhill fast,, needing a heart transplant, & then getting a heart pump implanted ( while waiting) & then probably having a stroke during that ( I don't know al lthe details).
someone else we knew husband finally succumbed to a rare brain bleed.

my husband just had a stroke 2 weeks ago, but was EXTREMELY lucky that he had only lasting effects of a numb cheek ( still doing therapy on that). I don't know if/when I will stop worrying now if he will get another ( %'s say he will).
my husbands younger brother died this past winter from cancer .
(my brother died from cancer when he was only 47)

someone we know also had a stroke recently , & he cannot walk.

I just feel so , well, mortal tonight. I KNOW we are all going to die sometime, but I have just ignored that fact. thinking I (we) must have several dozen good years left,,, but with all these medical events around us recently I have gotten into this deep funk!
even planning for our upcoming diz trip is not helping.

ok,, thanks for listening.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Oh I am sorry

We had a string of friends and family dies young a couple years back and it does really knock you for a loop and make you wonder who is next. The feeling will subside eventually though (it did for us anyway).

I hope everyone else remains healthy and safe and you can start enjoying the LIFE you have now.

 

[minniebeth]

to you tonite. It seems like so much illness surrounds all of us in one way or another. It hurts to see the ones we know and love deal with all of it and I'm sure it's pretty natural that we start lookin inward. It's like there is 0 degrees of separation anymore! That's why every minute is precious and we should live to the fullest. Love much and laugh often. I hope that all the ones you love, especially your DH can find healing and wonderful moments full of life. Enjoy planning your trip, it definately can be one of life's sweet things!

 

[S. C.]

 

[southernsam]

So sorry to read of your troubles, I am sending you best wishes from England that you will get through this difficult time

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

You are not wasting space!

Sometimes the reality of our short time here on earth is hard to ignore. We all tend to move through life expecting it to last forever, don't we?

When we are faced with instance after instance of the true brief nature of life, it forces us to re-evaluate and view the world differently.

I hope you find peace in your understanding, and go on to have each day be meaningful to you and be the treasure that it is.

Best wishes for your DH's full recovery.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[a1tinkfans]

OP:
so sorry you are dealing with this deluge of situations. The boards are For times when you need to vent or seek compassion or express joy,

I wish you strength to deal with lifes difficulties and tragedies! Its times like these that make you Slow down and realize how very precious each and every moment is each and every day. Best of luck and a speedy recovery to your dh! Hang in there, look for the "glimpses" of goodness around you!

we are here for you, so feel free to keep us posted!

 

[Kit'smommy]

I had a friend in her early 40's die from complications following pretty extensive surgery on her hand a few years back. That shook me up pretty badly, as it was so unexpected.

I will keep your friend and her family in my thoughts and prayers over the next few days.

 

[Darsa]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that I can totally relate; as long as I live I'll never forget when my mom was declared unable to be saved, how she lay there unresponsive to anything we said and her eyes just tracked back and forth, back and forth... the feeling of mortality, I TOTALLY understand. Keeping him alive and on machines, though, is something I'm sure he wouldn't be interested in (as we knew my mom wouldn't be), hopefully your friends can find comfort and strength in the fact that he won't be suffering anymore; having friends like you around them, I'm sure, is an amazing source of comfort.

 

[Disneefun]

We went through something similar a few years ago with health problems left and right for us and loved ones. Deaths, too. I feel for you.

I, like you, started feeling very mortal. But you know what? It worked out to the good in at least one way. It made me reevaluate my life and really look at my limited time here and what I'm doing with it. I live a little differently these days. Not completely like, "I'm gonna live for today so d@#$ the consequences," but more like, "Am I doing something today that's meaningful and special, or am I just going through the motions?" I makes me more aware that I need to spend time with loved ones doing things together, even if it's just curling up on the couch watching a movie with DH. It makes me remember that you need to say you love people when you have a chance. It makes me, in general, a kinder, gentler, more positive person. I even found a new line of work that I enjoy more so I don't waste my time on something miserable.

Maybe this pain isn't there just to make you miserable, but to make you really look at an appreciate your time here.

 

[minkydog]

I'm so sorry that everything is piling up on ya'll. You're so young. It's hard enough when our elders get sick and pass on, but when it's people of our own generation, in our inner circle, well its nigh unbearable.

I don't know how long it takes for someone to get to the point that they stop "waiting for the other shoe to drop." It hasn't happened for me yet. We have have crisis after crisis after crisis in the last 15 years. I have all but stopped planning into the future because the future is scary. All we really have is today. So that's what we focus on, today. And today generally isn't so scary as compared to yesterday

 

[lucas]

 

[M&N]

Troubles can be lighter when shared with friends...mortality is tough to face...try and think positive thoughts...

 

[Micca]

Sounds like a rough patch, sorry to hear it. We all must face our own mortality, but I think we get better at it over time. No need to dwell on it.
Hang in there.