Family Vent

[pigletgirl]

It seems whenever there is a family affair on the horizon, it brings the worst out of people. It seems like everyone is complaining about something, about my wedding!

I.E -- It isn't convienent -- My cousin is expecting and is due in early May. She's upset that we planned our day too close to her due date. It's so silly because we've had this date picked out prior to her getting pregnant. If anything, its her own deal.

No kids at the reception! -- The wedding is in the early evening, and the reception probably won't even begin until 730ish because of pictures, ect. I've already set up people to watch the little ones. Plus they're invited to the ceremony. I sent an email out to the families will little kids and they all thought it was fine, at least then they did. Why did it have to change now?

Ugh, and it goes on and on. It also doesn't help that my future MIL is super nit picky and nothing is ever "good enough" for her son. I can only imagine what its going to be like in the future when we have children.

 

[Brit17]

It seems whenever there is a family affair on the horizon, it brings the worst out of people. It seems like everyone is complaining about something, about my wedding!

I.E -- It isn't convienent -- My cousin is expecting and is due in early May. She's upset that we planned our day too close to her due date. It's so silly because we've had this date picked out prior to her getting pregnant. If anything, its her own deal.

No kids at the reception! -- The wedding is in the early evening, and the reception probably won't even begin until 730ish because of pictures, ect. I've already set up people to watch the little ones. Plus they're invited to the ceremony. I sent an email out to the families will little kids and they all thought it was fine, at least then they did. Why did it have to change now?

Ugh, and it goes on and on. It also doesn't help that my future MIL is super nit picky and nothing is ever "good enough" for her son. I can only imagine what its going to be like in the future when we have children.

... Just try and realize that no matter how hard you try, it is simply impossible to always make everybody happy ... someone, somewhere, is always going to have a problem with something ... so on that note, remember - It's your Day, do it your Way, and just be Happy ...

Congratulations on your upcoming Wedding! ... I wish you a Magical Day! ...

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Do what makes you happy and don't stress about everyone else. As for the setting up babysitting- they may have been okay with it because they didn't know how to tell you that they would not leave their kids with the person you chose. No big deal. They can leave the kids home if they want to come. We have a child free wedding. I think it is up to the bride and groom. Enjoy your day and just remember the ceremony is the most important part. The rest is just the most expensive party you will every throw!

 

[RangerPooh]

Don't attempt to make everyone happy, in the long run it'll drive you nuts. Been there, done that. My parents made us feel so guilty about my brother not being able to attend our wedding because he was in the Army that we considered multiple dates and eventually said that there's no guarantee that he'd even get leave, so we went with our own date. Just do what makes you happy.

Your guests have plenty of notice about a child free reception, if they don't want to use the childcare that you have so thoughtfully provided then they can either leave the kids with their own sitter, or not attend the reception. You cousin needs to realize that things are not all about her. She might be in that mindset, but point out that your date has been set longer that the 6 months or so that she's been pregnant. If she still has issues remind her that while her presence is requested it is not mandatory. Maybe then she'll stop complaining as will everyone else.

 

[bumbershoot]

As long as you understand that your choice will cause some people to not attend at all, and as long as you will be gracious about it, continue on.

However...

it brings the worst out of people. It seems like everyone is complaining about something, about my wedding!

You are complaining about your loved ones and THEIR feelings and possible decisions...so do recognize that while you think about how they are complaining.



Your cousin might not be able to be there, know that. I stupidly went forward with being a b'maid when I had a 9 week old. WORST decision ever of mine. I shouldn't have even attended. It was too exhausting. And she made an exception for me, and allowed me to bring him, though she had a "no kids" policy except for the flower girl and ring bearer. So even with him with me, and hubby to help, it was just awful for me.

If I'd still been pregnant or DS had been younger, there would have been absolutely no way. In fact I did turn down two weddings b/c of the pregnancy, and mine was normal. I just didn't feel comfortable flying AT ALL.

 

[marlynnp]

"I understand that you may not be able to attend."

That's what I started saying. It shut nearly everyone up and most figured out their issue and attended, lol!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm confused.

Is the pregnancy keeping this woman from attending your wedding? (Travel?)

So what if she is pregnant for your wedding. Too bad, so sad--she planned her family to coincide with your anniversary. Not your problem.

I was a matron of honor at 8 months pregnant. Still had a good time. Looked like a sea cow and hated my photos--but the wedding was fun for me. (Except for the part where folks kept thinking that I was endangering myself by dancing. They probably would have felt more comfortable with the reception in the labor and delivery unit. )

As for the kids. You gave notice. Them being shocked is their issue to deal with.

 

[Pigeon]

I agree you won't make everyone happy.

Just keep in mind that you are inviting people to an event. You get to set the parameters of the event and decide who to invite.

The guests get to decide whether or not they will attend.

We don't do child-free weddings. I couldn't care less if people want to have them. Their party, their decision. We decline politely, send a gift, wish them well, etc., but we don't go.

It's not polite for other people to complain about the parameters of your wedding, but it's not polite for you to complain if the don't attend.