I hear what you're saying, but I can understand this from the OP's perspective, as well. I don't get the impression that the OP is sitting around, waiting for handouts from her parents/IL's. But, all it takes is one sibling/IL, who decides that they're entitled, and they can make the OP's life miserable. If the OP decides to take the ski trip, she may well be subjected to a whole lot of grief at every family gathering for years to come. For some people, it might be worth that grief, to stand on principle. For others, keeping the family harmony is the better option. And the grandparents may be willing to shell out this money, so that they can have their entire family together--I can understand that, as well. It looks a lot simpler from the outside, but family dynamics can get complicated.