Family may bail - what should I do?

[TonyS20]

My DH decided it would be nice to invite his DB, his GF and their DD6 to join us for a portion of our trip next October. The first 5 nights (Sun. - Thurs., of course ) we would stay in a 2 BR at SSR (our home). Then we would transfer to a 1 BR for the remaining 8 nights of our stay.

Last weekend, my BIL and his GF had a fight and have separated. For now, she is staying in the house and he has moved in with his parents. Their DD is splitting stays between the two. Last night, my BIL called to talk to my DH and told him that when his GF has saved enough money, she is moving into her own apartment.

To be honest, they do this type of thing frequently. Not to the point of moving out, but they have their little fights. The weekend before all of this happened, she was angry at her BF because him and my DH rode their 4 wheelers and camped by their parents house. They got back to his place around 6 am and she was crying and upset and told him that she was scared something bad had happened to him and that she was going to be alone. Seven days later she decides she doesn't want to be together anymore.

That's the background. My question is this: How should I handle the reservations? I'm unsure that my BIL would want to travel with his DD alone. Should I book the original plan (2BR then 1 BR) and then wait until the 7 month mark to see how things stand? We were planning to split our stay between SSR and BCV, but with them coming along, it would take too many points. How difficult do you think it would be to change from a 2 BR to a 1 BR at the end of October? Any advice would be helpful!

 

[Chuck S]

Well, you may wind up spending more points...but...

Assuming you would want a one bedroom for your immediate family through out your stay, that is what I would book, and book BIL a seperate studio for those 5 nights that you can cancel if needed.

 

[InstImpres]

I agree with Chuck. Just book them as lockoff's. Explain to the CM your situation. Than before 30 days out you can either cancel the studio or convert to 2br to save the points. (Hopefully that won't put you in a banking bind - look at that and make yourself a "drop ded" date to convert to 2 BR)

Good luck
Sandy

 

[dianeschlicht]

I would do it a bit differently. I would book a 2 bedroom lock off specificallly, so you could easily drop down to the 1 bedroom if you need to. Either that, or rent out the studio portion. A lot of folks who own Hawaii timeshares that are 2 bedroom lock offs do that. I guess you said you would be spending part of your time at BCV. If that would be the later part of the trip, you wouldn't have to change that part.

 

[chris1gill]

I just wanted to say, that October is becoming very popular... The past two octobers have found limited availability after like the May timeframe... Whatever you decide to do, whether a lock off or otherwise, keep in mind it may be difficult to change your accomodations after May...

 

[dyingtodisney]

Even if they do make up are you sure you'd want to share a 2bdr if they tend to fight a lot? I'd go for the one bdr and studio!

 

[dianeschlicht]

Originally posted by dyingtodisney
Even if they do make up are you sure you'd want to share a 2bdr if they tend to fight a lot? I'd go for the one bdr and studio!

With the 2 bedroom lock off, that is basically what you have for less points.

 

[gopherit]

This may be an even less feasible idea, but since you asked for suggestions -- what the hey.

How about getting the 1BR that YOUR FAMILY wants -- for YOUR vacation -- and then make a cash ressie for a studio? At least then you won't be left with potentially unbankable points. I think too that when family hears points, their eyes glaze over and they think it's no big whoop. CASH, on the other hand -- and the dollar amount -- usually grabs their attention!! And with a cash ressie, you could drop it if needed without having to rearrange YOUR schedule.

I'm in a very similar situation -- we invited dh's brother and his family, but they are having a 2nd baby. We gave them every opportunity to back out and plan on another year (after all, they knew about the baby well before even the 11 mos trip planning/ressie window!) But nnoooooooo... they want to still go (baby will be 8 mos old -- we're going in AUGUST. I took my youngest at 8 mos too -- but it was January, NOT in August! And they went with us in August 2002, so they KNOW how hot/humid it will be!) As long as it was a pts deal, they just had no clue. When we started talking cash, they said, sure -- ok -- what can we pay for? You should have seen their faces at the price of just the studio for a week. The dawn of realization.

So we've got our plans set -- but I've got a wager with DH that they back out (or that 2 of them back out -- baby plus one parent). They have totally forgotten what babies are like -- and they never traveled with the first one much because he was so "difficult" (screamed in car, etc). Should be interesting.

When it comes to guests, my new rule is PLEASE YOURSELF FIRST... then, if they (guests) can be accomodated without wrecking your plans, go for it. Otherwise, if the deal sours, you'll be filled with bitter feelings of, "BUt we changed our plans for youuuuu", or "IF we had KNOWN, we would have done such and such instead." And if it works out -- hey , great, it's like a BLue Light Special.

Good Luck!

 

[Dean]

Originally posted by dianeschlicht
With the 2 bedroom lock off, that is basically what you have for less points.

Not quite, you can't just drop the portion you don't want unless there is availability anyway. You'd actually be canccelling the 2 BR and scheduling a 1 BR.

 

[msdis]

Next Oct. is a long ways away. If you really like these people and if at least brother and daughter would go just the same then don't change just yet. Think long and hard about staying with these people for 5 nights either in your room or another and sharing your vacation with them and how you will feel about differences with regards to meals and activities you will be doing. Will they be able to afford to keep up or will you be guilted into paying for things you didn't plan to pay for.Paying and/or using points for the room is the least of it. We did this for family this year and regret every bit of it. Never again for us.

 

[Desperado]

Use this situation to get out while you can. Doesn't sound like the makings of a successful trip.

 

[joepoe]

...inviting relatives can be a royal pain in the a@@.

I would uninvite them and make my own plans for my own vacation. I can't tell you how many times I have read on these boards how invited relatives end up screwing up vacation plans. You are not alone. Make sure YOU have a good time and don't worry about them. It's YOUR timeshare and your vacation, too.

 

[donald@home]

I would ask them what they think they might want to do (in the hopes that they would back-out). I would tell them that you need to make reservations and want to know if there is a chance that they might still go with you, or if you should just make the reservation for your and your DH.

 

[kathleena]

I would book the 1br and the studio separate and tell BIL that I will keep it reserved for him until "insert date here" and then let their chips fall where they may. Why should you have to worry about their relationship?

And from the sounds of it, I would hope that if GF does come along, the studio is in another resort!

 

[crisi]

Is there the possibility that if your brother and his girlfriend break up that he will still want to go with his daughter?

Level with him. Explain the situation. Get his honest opinion. And then think of the "ifs." How many family members are you traveling with yourself? If you have kids and he doesn't come, they won't have to sleep on the hideabed. If you don't have kids and he decides not to come, you have good friends who'd like to join you at the last minute. If he doesn't join you and you end up wasting the points, you will hate him forever or alternately, chalk it up to "oh, well."

If you do rent him a seperate studio, you will at least have the option of renting it to cover your dues if he doesn't use it.

 

[tjkraz]

You've gotten a lot of good advice so far. I suspect that knowing the individuals involved, you probably have some idea of how to proceed from here.

If it were me, here's what I would probably do. It sounds like you've got a pretty unstable situation on your hands. Even if they do reconcile, who's to say that there won't be another blow-months, weeks or days before the actual trip. Heck, what if they get into a fight the night before?!?!

Anyway, you've got 50 years worth of trips coming through DVC. Personally, I would level with your BIL and explain your concerns to him. Someone else had a good idea about discussing the value of the room in real dollars instead of points. Make him understand that his studio would be costing you the DVC equivalent of $250 (or whatever the actual amount is) per night. Also, without going into details, make sure that he understands that you are limited in your abiliies to cancel and recoup all of your investment once the reservations have been made.

With all of that said, I would suggest that perhaps it would be better to wait another year before planning a trip together. You and your family should be able to enjoy your first trip "Home" without worrying about these sorts of things.

If you do end up offering to let your BIL and his daughter go with or without the girlfriend, establish up front that your family isn't there to be his dedicated babysitter for a week.

 

[robinb]

The LAST thing your BIL needs now is you fretting over a vacation that is over 11 months away. He just won't give a rip one way or another. His relationship just went "south" and he needs to deal with the emotions of his (maybe ex) GF and his daughter whose mother just left her father.

Don't say anything to him now. Just chill out for a few months and see how things shake out.

In the meantime, I like the idea of the 2BR lock-off. If you're lucky you would be able to convert it to a 1BR. If worse comes to worse, you can always rent the Studio portion of the unit and you are not out anything. Either way, the space is still there for your BIL's family.

 

[mikesmom]

I agree that you probably can't have a discussion right now with these upset people. However, to protect yourselves, you should probably make the separate ressies suggested earlier - the 1 bdr and the separate studio. As Dean said earlier you can NOT take a 2 bdr and just step it down to a 1 bdrm by asking them to lock it off (I've tried it). You will have to cancel the whole reservation and make a new one. Also, your odds of cancelling and getting a new ressie (if things blow up) at BCV at the end of October are very poor (I've tried that, too). That's when the Food & Wine Fest is on at Epcot and the Epcot resorts completely sell out. For that matter, for some time periods during that fest, ALL the DVC resorts sell out.

 

[TonyS20]

Everyone offered some really sound advice! I know that the last thing in my BIL's mind is our vacation in October. I agree that now is not really the time to discuss it since their future seems to be up in the air. Additionally, I agree that even if they get back together it could happen again. You all provided lots of really great points that I need to consider.

I was trying to come up with the most discreet way to place the reservations. We had told them the "drop dead" date was Dec. 1 since that is when I could make reservations. They had to know by that point if they wanted to go (we presented them with the budget they would need in order to go, so that was a stipulation as well). For the trip, we basically have 2 options: they go and we spend the entire trip at SSR (5 nights 2 BR, 8 nights 1 BR) OR they don't go and we spend the entire trip in a 1 BR (possibly spending some time at BCV based on availability).

Right now, I told my DH that they would have to let us know by March. I will call MS on Dec. 1 and decide what is the best thing to do (1BR + studio if we can be close OR a 2 BR). Worse case, we will have a 2 BR to ourselves or will find another couple to take the extra room. Of course, my BIL and his DD can come alone, but I would not play babysitter the time they are there (excellent point, tjkraz!). It would be a "family" vacation and he would be responsible for his DD at all times. My DH and I have been discussing this and we don't want it to be more problems than it is worth.

While I would love to back out, I don't think my DH will do that. Since it his family and he wanted to extend the offer, I am letting him handle it. I just wanted to know what options I have available. They have to be willing to work within my timeframes. I don't want to lose out on points because they can't decide!

Thanks again for all the great advice!