Ever wonder why our kids drive us nuts?!

[Colleen A.]

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether
they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or
students ... here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take
comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence
did not extend to His own children

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam
and Eve.
And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why" "Because I am your Father and I said so!"
God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having
an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did to!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's
punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give
children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk.
Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to
sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing
your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat
their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you
shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children more
awful than your own.


6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still
getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY!

Be nice to your kids.

They will choose your nursing home.



AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A

HEADACHE, TAKE THE ADVICE ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"

You've gotta admit there's some wisdom here.

 

[fantasymagic]

And I'm going to forward it to my office pals.

Thanks!

 

[Robinrs]

LOL!! This is great!

Loved the one about the nursing home. We recently put my Dad in a nursing home and YES, since he is the best Dad in the world we drive the workers there INSANE! He's allowed to come home on the weekends but there is never a time during the week that he doesn't have a visitor. The nursing home administrator told me that she's never met a family like ours. You definitely reep what you sow!

 

[phins_jazy]

Thanks for the smile!

 

[Buz]

They will choose your nursing home.

My DS18 says he will put in the best nursing home OUR money will buy!

LOL

Buz