Euphemisms for death

[ChrisFL]

I'm fine with most of the terms, except I HATE in the media when someone dies, then they go on to say "They're survived by their wife/kids..."

They're not survived by anyone, they're still dead...it's just a strange phrase I never quite understood

 

[Pigeon]

Passed is being polite without knowing if the person is religious or not.

Passed away for the atheists.
Passed on the the believers.

I'm just guessing but it sounds pretty good!

As an atheist, "passed away" doesn't do it for me. They didn't pass anything or in any direction. They died.

 

[LuvOrlando]

People do die, but the term is so desolate and without warmth that I tend to avoid it. I do prefer "passed " or "passed away" because to me, the person simply passed from this world. In my belief system the person passes on to a Faith based place, but it should still work even if someone is an atheist believing that someone who dies merely passed from this state of consciousness to nothing. I just think died lacks grace and is a harsh word... not that words soften reality but they can be comforting and the fact people use care with their selection of words can be, itself, a comfort.

That said I get everything will irritate someone somewhere.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Other term I don't like..."waked". I'm fine with calling a wake a wake. But I remember hearing for the first time (in RI, having grown up in NJ)..."He's being waked tomorrow night."

And a pre-death phrase I hate is "took a heart attack". "Took" it where? Or, "went missing." Why isn't it "so-and-so is missing"? It's like it was a choice...the person went there...to "missing".

OK, I'm tired. Maybe I'm just over thinking. Or under thinking.

 

[safetymom]

When my husband died the doctor went on for about 5 mins talking about the situation. When he was done he asked if I had any questions, I asked you mean he is dead? The doctors answered oh yes he died. Why didn't they say that in the first place?

 

[dumboiu]

I don't know why but euphemisms for death bug me.... "passed", "passed away", etc. They didn't overtake a car on the highway, they died.

Death stinks but it is going to happen to every single one of us. There's no point in sugar coating it.

But I've always been one to appreciate a no nonsense, direct approach.

I personally prefer "passed away" for a loved one as it is gentler way of stating the obvious. If you don't prefer it, that is fine, but please don't judge terminology used that may be comforting to others.

 

[jfranklyn]

This is a great thread. My husband is a minister and does MANY funerals a year, so "death talk" is often the topic around our house.

He has a friend who is high-ranking in the denomination they belong to, and often emails announcing the death of this person or that person who is associated with the denomination (retired ministers, old professors, etc) and he always says:

"Such and Such ENTERED THE NEARER PRESCENCE OF GOD....."

And while I like the idea that when we die we are now with God, it always seems like an odd way to tell you that someone died, especially when it is a sudden death or the person was young.

I personally just like "died" or "died suddenly" or "died after a long illness". I believe in heaven and the afterlife and all that, but as far as things here on earth go, their dead. And I don't think saying "entered the nearer prescense of God" gives the respect to the grieving family that they deserve. Death always hurts someone who is left behind, and that hurt deserves respect. It's hard to say "I'm hurting because my relative entered the nearer prescence of God" - that almost sounds selfish that you would want to keep them from that. You're hurting because they died and are gone from this earth and from your physical presence and that hurt should be acknowledged.

But if ever there were a case of "to each their own", it's this. Everyone needs to do what they need to do to get through a situation where someone has died.

 

[robinb]

My cousin's long-term boyfriend recently broke up with her with no explanation whatsover, leaving her with a lot of heartache and questions.

She recently texted me with this message "David is dead". I thought-What??? I didn't think she really meant dead, but she did. He had killed himself.

It was so weird and blunt getting a text like that...with just that statement. We're so used to not saying it bluntly, that for a while, I thought she meant something else.

Holy cow! So sorry for your cousin and her ex-bf's family. That is so sad .

ETA: I use both "died" and "passed away". I used "died" with people who know me and "passed away" with people who don't know me very well since it's the more socially acceptable way of saying it.

 

[shortbun]

I use both passed away and died. I don't see a problem with people using any term that feels right to them.

 

[Agri]

This is a great thread. My husband is a minister and does MANY funerals a year, so "death talk" is often the topic around our house.

He has a friend who is high-ranking in the denomination they belong to, and often emails announcing the death of this person or that person who is associated with the denomination (retired ministers, old professors, etc) and he always says:

"Such and Such ENTERED THE NEARER PRESCENCE OF GOD....."

And while I like the idea that when we die we are now with God, it always seems like an odd way to tell you that someone died, especially when it is a sudden death or the person was young.

I personally just like "died" or "died suddenly" or "died after a long illness". I believe in heaven and the afterlife and all that, but as far as things here on earth go, their dead. And I don't think saying "entered the nearer prescense of God" gives the respect to the grieving family that they deserve. Death always hurts someone who is left behind, and that hurt deserves respect. It's hard to say "I'm hurting because my relative entered the nearer prescence of God" - that almost sounds selfish that you would want to keep them from that. You're hurting because they died and are gone from this earth and from your physical presence and that hurt should be acknowledged.

But if ever there were a case of "to each their own", it's this. Everyone needs to do what they need to do to get through a situation where someone has died.

My unsolicited advice is to ask the family (if there is one) how to word the announcement. I know our minister does NOT do this, and my family does not like the way he words his announcements, so I sent out one of my own first. Before the usual "claimed the promise of the resurrection" emails came out.

I think what I really dislike is that some people want the euphemisms, some don't, but our minister doesn't give us that choice...and that seems somewhat disrespectful to me.

My grandfather was as Christian as they come, but to him, when you die - you're dead.