Escape Brides - Mixed Emotions?

[kkfl2m]

So my FI and I have been dating for 7 years and I know our families/friends are all as excited as we are for us to get married. We love the idea of a Disney wedding and are pretty settled on the Escape package, but I keep worrying about our large families who will be precluded from being invited by the 18guest limit.

Have any other escape brides wrestled with not being able to invite everyone you want (despite knowing 99% of them will choose not to go/not be able to afford to go)? What helped you fully commit to the DFTW? Any advice for mitigating hurt feelings?

 

[TabZ]

I think most people get around this by having an 'at home reception' which lets you celabrate with everyone after the fact.

Have you thought of inviting everyone you want with a save the date type situation, get them to RSVP to see if they would come, then you can get a better idea as to how many would actually come vs how many you want to limit the invites to?

 

[MrsDuck]

So my FI and I have been dating for 7 years and I know our families/friends are all as excited as we are for us to get married. We love the idea of a Disney wedding and are pretty settled on the Escape package, but I keep worrying about our large families who will be precluded from being invited by the 18guest limit.

Have any other escape brides wrestled with not being able to invite everyone you want (despite knowing 99% of them will choose not to go/not be able to afford to go)? What helped you fully commit to the DFTW? Any advice for mitigating hurt feelings?

You sound like FI and I. We both have large families but really wanted to get married at Disney.

The Escape package just wasn't going to do it for us as we couldn't have only 18 guests.

I really recommend looking into a Swan and Dolphin wedding!! They're still on property (and you can have characters come!) but there are no restrictions as far as guest count or practically anything else.

The S/D work with an amazing wedding planning company-- Just Marry! and the S/D wedding planner, Karen, is FANTASTIC. When I read the DFTW horror stories on here, I'm so grateful for Karen!

Feel free to check out my PJ or the S/D planning sticky at the top of the page. Don't hesitate to PM any of us S/D brides if you have questions!!

 

[sarahb01]

I too am having a S/D wedding, haven't starting planning through them yet, as we can't book a date yet.

This was one of the reasons we chose the Swan. I knew there would be more than 18 people, because the people I want/have to be there would equal out to more than 18. I knew that a wishes wedding would put us way over a budget that we wanted to stay around. But at a Swan wedding as someone already said, you can have as many people there. If you choose to feed them, that is where you will feel the extra money. But as far as just having them go to the ceremony, you can have pretty much as many people as you want.

I think we are leaning towards inviting around 120 to the ceremony with a small type reception (snacks not a meal) and then inviting our wedding party, parents and gradndparents to an EPCOT dessert party that night.

We are also planning on 2 at home receptions. We live in Texas with my family in Chicago, and his family in MO. To make it easy on everyone, we will have smaller parties at a later date.

That is probably more information than you cared to read

 

[kkfl2m]

Thanks ladies!

We are planning an AHR because we know most won't attend the actual wedding and want to be able to celebrate with everyone!

Those of you doing the at home reception, are you still planning to do typical wedding parties like a bridal shower? I know old etiquette says NO parties with people who aren't invited to the ceremony but I think the increasing # of destination weddings is kind of blurring that line a little (NTM our families are not necessarily etiquettte followers).

I am looking at the S/D but I really just love the Wedding Pavilion (&Commander's Terrace!) as it basically fits every one of my wedding fantasies! FI feels the same way, so I am pretty certain we will be sticking with DFTW as opposed to S/D.

I am also looking into a dinner (would love CA grill but will probably go Citricos/somewhere in DD or BW) and am definitely planning a DP.

We are having an engagement party late October, any advice on how to (should we?)announce the private ceremony/big AHR?

 

[sambycat]

I feel your pain! We couldn't get to 18 (including us) and ended up doing a weekday brunch wishes wedding. I also will throw a shout out to consider webcasting your event. This can be done DIY but stvs video offers it as an inexpensive add on to their video packages and it was really nice for us!

As for the AHR, and I tend to be more traditional wedding stuff, but if it's out there that it's a destination thing and small close family, then showers and what not that others throw for you are fine.

 

[sambycat]

As for announcing, I think I might start hinting at the party that you are looking at a small destination wedding with an AHR. I personally would only send official wedding invites to those coming to WDW and have separate announcements/AHR invites for that? I'm thinking you and family could spread the word about small wedding so others have the idea.

 

[FutureMrsSmith]

This was exactly our predicament! We were planning a small wedding in Jamaica with no kids and it got a little pricey so we switched to a Disney Escape weddingwhich I've always wanted. It seems like now everyone wants to come and i feel bad turning people away. My DF and I are having a large reception when we return home and I'm still having a bridal shower and a complete bridal party. We are even considering having a small vow renewal at a park before our reception so more people can attend that. We just want to go to Disney, get married, and go have fun. Hope this helps.

 

[Jilian]

I agree that an at home reception sounds like the answer. You could even play a recording of your ceremony (if you're having a videographer) so the guests that couldn't make it can see.

 

[Deb loves Disney]

We also had this dilemma and were worried about excluding anybody. It was really tough to narrow the guest list down. We ended up explaining to the ones that we couldn't invite that due to the type of wedding we were having the number of guests were very limited and we were only inviting immediate family members. It ended up working out nicely and everybody understood.
I still somewhat regret not having a larger wedding but there are benefits to a smaller one like actually getting to spend time with each guest instead of a receiving line. It felt very intimate and perfect. Just do what you feel is right everybody else will understand and if they don't it's not your fault.

I also agree with the at home reception and the advice to have a webcast as well as sharing your video with the guests at the home reception.

The most important thing is doing what makes you happy! It's your day!

 

[2010_Bride]

As with all Escape weddings we had the same issue with numbers. We didn't tell our families until we had figured out exactly who we were going to invite so that family members didn't expect an invitation when they weren't going to be invited.
I'm not sure what size your family is - but we decided to draw the line at immediate family only. So that meant parents, (neither of us have grandparents), siblings and their spouses/children. That put us at 17 This way we didn't have to decide between aunts/uncles/cousins/friends etc..

 

[HYYJ]

We everyone have the right to pursue ourown happiness. But the own happiness is others painess. So, we have to make the choice. May you happy!