Early Birthday/Christmas Gifts

[nw6675]

My DD's laptop bit the dust. She mainly used it for gaming since her iPad 11 pro handles most if not all of her schoolwork.

She begged us for a new one so we told her it is her birthday (Nov) and Christmas if she gets one now. She agreed.

Has anyone else given a large gift rather early and it truly replaced te future holiday? I know me and she'll still have a little something to open, but Santa is coming very early

Just curious how it went for others.

 

[mumto3girls]

Yes, but not until they were almost grown. Oldest DD is 22 and loves travel more than almost anything. We frequently give her money for trips for birthday/Christmas at her request.

We will still usually celebrate with dinner/cake, but generally no other gifts unless the amount we gave for the trip was less than what we normally would have spent.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

We do it all the time between my husband and I. And it's been pretty common to do so in recent years with birthday gift from my mom because usually I want a gift card.

For example one of my Disney Vera Bradley purses was purchased in 2018 IIRC with leftover Disney gift cards from my sister-in-law and my mom but the gift card from my mom was given about a month early because that's when the pattern dropped.

Several years ago I really wanted the first release of Harry Potter Vera Bradley and asked my husband if that could be my birthday/Christmas gift combo (or something like that). So that's what happened.

I will agree with the above poster that most of this happened as I was an adult.

Regardless I wouldn't feel any guilt, it's doubtful your daughter would. I think parents make more of a fuss about this than kids do.

 

[lanejudy]

You don't mention how old she is... I'd probably have a different answer for a 12-yr-old vs a 20-yr-old. My main concern would be that she just wants it now and is willing to say "yes" to forgoing birthday/Christmas gifts because 8-9 months is soooo far off in a teen's mind. Come next fall, she won't feel the same. It's going to take some periodic reminders that she's already received her gifts for the year.

 

[Forevermarypoppins]

If it's a real "need" and not a "want" then the purchase is necessary and not a gift. I wouldn't ( and have not) ever given a 7+ month early gift

 

[tarheelmjfan]

If I remember correctly, your DD is still young. I wouldn't do it. By Nov/Dec, she's going to forget she agreed to the laptop being her birthday/Christmas gifts or hope you didn't really mean she was going to be getting her big gift in March. She'll be disappointed on her birthday/Christmas. I'd either buy the laptop with no strings attached or tell her she needs to wait for Santa to bring it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

If it's a real "need" and not a "want" then the purchase is necessary and not a gift.

I was looking for that part too but the OP said it was mainly her gaming computer so I took it as a want vs a need at this time. I think we all would agree if this was actually needed for school work it's not a gift, it's just a normal purchase.

 

[nw6675]

I was looking for that part too but the OP said it was mainly her gaming computer so I took it as a want vs a need at this time. I think we all would agree if this was actually needed for school work it's not a gift, it's just a normal purchase.

Op here - yes, completely. There is a small percentage of schoolwork she might do, but it is probably 95% or more a want. We had to replace her iPad last year and it was a need so we definitely bought it and never considered it a gift.

She's 11 so I know she'll "have" to have something to open, but it is going to be nothing like a normal holiday would be. She told me that it was ok that she still has grandma and grandpa - and well, she's not wrong!

We'll also be a Disney for 10 nights between her bday and Christmas. I need to quit worrying about how it will be on the actual holidays and remind her all year how fortunate she is. I think I'm the one that will be disappointed Christmas morning.

 

[TwoMisfits]

Op here - yes, completely. There is a small percentage of schoolwork she might do, but it is probably 95% or more a want. We had to replace her iPad last year and it was a need so we definitely bought it and never considered it a gift.

She's 11 so I know she'll "have" to have something to open, but it is going to be nothing like a normal holiday would be. She told me that it was ok that she still has grandma and grandpa - and well, she's not wrong!

We'll also be a Disney for 10 nights between her bday and Christmas. I need to quit worrying about how it will be on the actual holidays and remind her all year how fortunate she is. I think I'm the one that will be disappointed Christmas morning.

Yes, I've given a big gift early. I keep the box and rewrap it and they open the box for the birthday. They know I'm gonna do that, and it's gone well so far (that said, I do still have other gifts for their birthday, but the "big one" is empty)...

I did this for a cellphone for one teen...since I got a free phone b/c of a deal on my plan (if I bought a line), it was the right time to buy and give, and she was so happy to have it...I did tell her I'd keep it til her birthday if she'd rather...and she did not...

 

[tcufrog]

Our kids have their birthdays a few months after Christmas. This year, we gave them each a combo Christmas/birthday present, a new computer.

 

[lovesmurfs]

I did for DD23 for Christmas this year, but she wanted to go to San Francisco for a gaming convention in the fall. I was able to find a hotel/flight for less than she could, and it was about what we'd spend for her for Christmas. For Christmas, I found a San Francisco tree ornament to help remind her on Christmas day.

That said, while I often will buy something they want and tell them it's for Christmas, it's usually within spitting distance of the holiday. Nine months is a bit of a stretch, particularly for someone that young. Just me, though - YMMV.

 

[Skywalker]

That said, while I often will buy something they want and tell them it's for Christmas, it's usually within spitting distance of the holiday. Nine months is a bit of a stretch, particularly for someone that young. Just me, though - YMMV.

This my thought as well. Early gift, no problem. But like 9 months early is pushing it. It's only March - its more likely to be a late gift from last year lol

 

[Jangles]

I still struggle with this problem, even though my children are in their 20s. I still like to see their excitement on birthdays (Nov/Dec) and Christmas. Recently , if we have been in WDW at Christmas, we have just exchanged token, small gifts, but when we are home, I can’t resist the desire to put gifts under the tree. It is my need, rather than their want or need.

 

[nw6675]

Soooo....I'm hesitant to even post my update. Her grandparents bought it. I declined multiple times, but my dad is more hard-headed than I am. We have the means to buy it. He said he wanted to do something special and since we live out of state and I homeschool, he doesn't have to buy all the school fundraiser stuff. He thought that was an even trade.lol

His dad had the most giving heart I ever knew and my dad takes after him a lot.

 

[MamaMermaid]

Op here - yes, completely. There is a small percentage of schoolwork she might do, but it is probably 95% or more a want. We had to replace her iPad last year and it was a need so we definitely bought it and never considered it a gift.

She's 11 so I know she'll "have" to have something to open, but it is going to be nothing like a normal holiday would be. She told me that it was ok that she still has grandma and grandpa - and well, she's not wrong!

We'll also be a Disney for 10 nights between her bday and Christmas. I need to quit worrying about how it will be on the actual holidays and remind her all year how fortunate she is. I think I'm the one that will be disappointed Christmas morning.

Given this info, I think replacing now is ok. Hugs to you, though - I know it'll be a different vibe on Christmas morning!

 

[sksjasams]

Yes. Still added a few other smaller items to open.

In cases where the main gift was given early, I printed out a pic of the item and wrapped it up. That serves as a reminder so I don’t feel the need to say, “remember you already got” such and such.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Soooo....I'm hesitant to even post my update. Her grandparents bought it. I declined multiple times, but my dad is more hard-headed than I am. We have the means to buy it. He said he wanted to do something special and since we live out of state and I homeschool, he doesn't have to buy all the school fundraiser stuff. He thought that was an even trade.lol

His dad had the most giving heart I ever knew and my dad takes after him a lot.

You shouldn't have been hesitant to post this. It's the best case scenario. Everyone is happy now & will also be on her birthday & Christmas.