**Dueling Sibblings<-->Cranky Husband**

[Butterflies31]

HI
My name is Chrissy some of you might have seen me around. Im kinda new here.
well here is the deal.
Feb 28th 2010 we leave for Disney. On Amtrack Silver star.
Staying at the Port Orleans Riverside on the 1st.
Until March 5th.
We have a room with 2 beds and a trundle.
We have a dinning plan with 1 snack 1 QS meal and 1 TS meal.
WDW even gave us a $500.00 Gift card.
Every thing has been going smoothly except for some hiccups with spending money. That is ok though, Right now Im worried about my girls. I have 3 Girls ages 10 and 9 and 6 . My 9 year old has autism and my 10 year old is bi polar.
My kids fight constantly.. and argue all day. I spend most of my time separating them. Im trying to keep my self calm and keep telling my self that our trip will be fine. But in all reality I probaly will spend the whole 21 hours on the train keeping them away from each other. As far as in the hotel rooms I must keep the 9 year old from screaming, she gets loud when she is happy or sad. It happens to be a sensory thing. Ok I need to ask How am I suposta make this a magical trip for all 3 with out hurting any feelings or making any of them left out.
any Ideals for Travel games on train or ways to keep them from fighting all threw our vacation... And Now not only are my children fussy, but now hubby is getting disturbed by all the Disney I wants( I want a mickey, I want pins, I want a Build a dino) So right now he is fed up with me talking about Disney . OH MAN What Do I do !!!ALL I WANT IS TO BE HAPPY!!! We even went the route of taking a Day Off from talking about Disney. Am I Crazy I seem to be the only one Excited. Why?

 

[DrMomof3]

My kids are a bit younger but the older 2 can fight like cats and dogs! We have a few tricks for keeping peace at Disney.
1. I let each child make a few choices about what we do. Right now I'm getting ready to book my ADRs (next week) so I asked each child to choose one restaurant that they wanted. And I told them that they have to be nice when we do someone else's pick (my DD is into princesses and my DS thinks they're yucky!). We let them take turns choosing rides and shows and stuff.
2. We sometimes split up at Disney. My DS wanted to ride some bigger rides last trip. My DH took him to do some macho stuff and I took the younger 2 to see Mickey and do some younger kid stuff. Everyone was happy!
3. Plan downtime. We always, always, always take a break after lunch. Back to hotel for pool time and maybe a movie in the room. I strongly recommend a portable DVD player (esp. for your train ride!!!) and some well-loved movies.
4. Don't tolerate bad behavior. The kids get one warning. One. And the 2nd outburst/tantrum means back to the hotel. Or sitting on a bench with one parent while the other parent takes the behaving kids on rides.
5. Carry snacks and treats with you. My kids think that tic-tacs are "good behavior pills." I give them out to prevent bad behavior or to reward good behavior. We always carry extra water and snacks. Even with the dining plan you need it. Kids get cranky when they're hungry or thirsty. Be prepared!
6. Go with the flow! Not every moment will be magical but you can have a great trip!!!

Good luck!
Amanda

 

[kpgriswold]

Please go to your local library and check out the book The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World, then go the chapter titled "The Agony and the Ecstasy". It is the best guide to traveling with kids that I have ever read.

You can also ready it here: http://books.google.com/books?id=FyUO4I0eBWMC&pg=PA305&lpg=PA305&dq=unofficial+guide+agony+and+ecstasy&source=bl&ots=26pq2NcmJh&sig=OT7NYq3UDt2vNs436H4OWm5n3dE&hl=en&ei=yYR5S__FCMiX8Aa4wfjzCQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CDUQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=unofficial%20guide%20agony%20and%20ecstasy&f=false

Not to be a downer, but you really need to let go of the idea that you WDW trip will be some perfect fairytale experience just because you are in Disney. Your kids have some heavy-duty challenges, and they will have them no matter where you go. The key is to plan for those challenges, recognize that you may have some bad moments, and then go have the very best time you can.

My boys are all ADHD and -- like your daughter -- get VERY LOUD WHEN THEY ARE EXCITED!!! Our teenage daughter has sensory issues and doesn't react well to unexpected change or to crowds. We respond by planning out every little thing and doing what works at home, but more so.

For instance, we take lots of quiet activities on the plane: books, CD and DVD players with headphones, coloring books and crayons. This limits interaction -- and arguments and noise -- in the small enclosed space we are sharing with unwitting fellow passengers. We are more careful than normal about making sure our kids get their meds on time. We try to keep a semi-normal routine: eating meals and snacks before kids get too hungry, taking breaks in the middle of the day to let everyone cool off and settle down, and making sure the kids get enough sleep. We either open or close a park, but never both. If we want to see a late night parade or fireworks show, we make head to the parks after a nap. We also make sure that a late night is followed by sleeping in the next day.

You can do this, and will have a great time! Just keep your expectations realistic and plan for all the contingencies. Also, you may want to stop talking to your DH about Disney, Disney, Disney, and bring it here where we -- your fellow Disney-aholics -- understand.

 

[Magic Mom]

Can you change your reservations to Ft. Wilderness cabins? That would give you a little more privacy if DD started screaming and also a little more room so the kids aren't getting on each other's nerves as much.

 

[momrek06]

OP, first of all, I am curious as to why you did not fly? That sounds like a long trip on the train with the kiddos. Was it better deal than flying? I know Amtrak is offering allot of Disney specials.
I really do not think the hotel in Disney will be a problem for you as I feel you and your family will be so busy all day at the Parks that by evening everyone will be exhausted and fall right off to sleep.
I am worried more about your train travel and keeping the kiddos busy and occupied for that lengthy trip.

 

[Butterflies31]

OP, first of all, I am curious as to why you did not fly? That sounds like a long trip on the train with the kiddos. Was it better deal than flying? I know Amtrak is offering allot of Disney specials.
I really do not think the hotel in Disney will be a problem for you as I feel you and your family will be so busy all day at the Parks that by evening everyone will be exhausted and fall right off to sleep.
I am worried more about your train travel and keeping the kiddos busy and occupied for that lengthy trip.

We choose the Train because My DH is afraid of flying.. As for me I rather fly, but I want this to be enjoyable for him as well as the kids...

 

[Magic Mom]

We choose the Train because My DH is afraid of flying.. As for me I rather fly, but I want this to be enjoyable for him as well as the kids...

After 21 hours on a train with 3 kids, I bet he won't be too scared to fly anymore.

Do you have enough new things packed for them to keep them occupied on the train? Travel games, word puzzle books, magazines, books, MP3 players, decks of cards, snacks, colored pencils and paper to draw, etc.

 

[disneyjunkie]

HI
My name is Chrissy some of you might have seen me around. Im kinda new here.
well here is the deal.
Feb 28th 2010 we leave for Disney. On Amtrack Silver star.
Staying at the Port Orleans Riverside on the 1st.
Until March 5th.
We have a room with 2 beds and a trundle.
We have a dinning plan with 1 snack 1 QS meal and 1 TS meal.
WDW even gave us a $500.00 Gift card.
Every thing has been going smoothly except for some hiccups with spending money. That is ok though, Right now Im worried about my girls. I have 3 Girls ages 10 and 9 and 6 . My 9 year old has autism and my 10 year old is bi polar.
My kids fight constantly.. and argue all day. I spend most of my time separating them. Im trying to keep my self calm and keep telling my self that our trip will be fine. But in all reality I probaly will spend the whole 21 hours on the train keeping them away from each other. As far as in the hotel rooms I must keep the 9 year old from screaming, she gets loud when she is happy or sad. It happens to be a sensory thing. Ok I need to ask How am I suposta make this a magical trip for all 3 with out hurting any feelings or making any of them left out.
any Ideals for Travel games on train or ways to keep them from fighting all threw our vacation... And Now not only are my children fussy, but now hubby is getting disturbed by all the Disney I wants( I want a mickey, I want pins, I want a Build a dino) So right now he is fed up with me talking about Disney . OH MAN What Do I do !!!ALL I WANT IS TO BE HAPPY!!! We even went the route of taking a Day Off from talking about Disney. Am I Crazy I seem to be the only one Excited. Why?

Can you postpone the trip?

I love riding Amtrak. I've been traveling with them between NY and NC or SC for the last 35 years. If you have coach seats, that trip will be awful. The people around you are not going to be happy if your girls start screaming and fighting. Not only will you have to deal with your kids, but the nasty looks, (and maybe comments from those around you.)

If you're in coach, pack food, snacks and drinks for the trip. Pack games, books, paper, crayons, DVDs, DVD players...to keep the girls occupied. Pack pillows and blankets.

 

[momrek06]

Oh, ok, OP, then if the reason you are all taking the train is because of DH's fear of flying, then he should not have any problems with helping YOU keep the girls "entertained" during the 21 hour trip.

I was just wondering if by chance you gave any thought to you flying with the girls and DH coming down on the train??? I think you flying alone with the girls (what like 3 hours from NY to FL) as vs 21 hours, is a piece of cake.

Every time I have traveled Amtrak, once all the customers are settled in, everyone seems to get busy reading, listening to music through their headphones and/or napping. If the girls start to get restless, it may bother other passengers and than YOU will feel badly for disturbing the passengers.

 

[Butterflies31]

Oh, ok, OP, then if the reason you are all taking the train is because of DH's fear of flying, then he should not have any problems with helping YOU keep the girls "entertained" during the 21 hour trip.

I was just wondering if by chance you gave any thought to you flying with the girls and DH coming down on the train??? I think you flying alone with the girls (what like 3 hours from NY to FL) as vs 21 hours, is a piece of cake.

Every time I have traveled Amtrak, once all the customers are settled in, everyone seems to get busy reading, listening to music through their headphones and/or napping. If the girls start to get restless, it may bother other passengers and than YOU will feel badly for disturbing the passengers.

Well all tickets are bought trip is booked no turning back now.. I guess Im headed to Walmart to buy fun travel things.. So far i have a list.

Cards
coloring books for all
xtra pens pencils and crayons
Word finds
Mp3 players
portable DVD player
some new DVD's
Nintendo DS for older girls ( we already have these)
Leap frog for little one ( we already have this)

So looks like im looking for a cheap Portable DVD player......

 

[brergnat]

Hugs to you. I have special needs kids too, and know what you are dealing with (somewhat). My sons are 5 and almost 4. The 5 year old has autism. The younger one has Speech Apraxia and MAJOR sensory issues around noises as well as irrational fears. We are flying from CA to FL in March for our first family Disney World trip. Our flight time is 6 hours and I'm DREADING IT because my younger son is TERRIFIED (all of a sudden) of airplanes.

I have to keep reminding myself that if I want this trip to be magical, *I* have to remain calm and not stress out. I know my kids very well. Because of that, I feel prepared to handle anything that might come up and that reassures me. BUT, I tend to lose my patience and over stress sometimes. DH tells me this. I am doing lots of reminding myself that "I want to enjoy this vacation; I want to see the good in it; I don't want to stress about the difficulties. Just relax, and be happy to be at WDW with your kids and husband." It's my daily talk with myself.

We are fully prepared to spend 99% of our time at the hotel pool and waterparks. THAT is what our kids love. The parks, we will attempt them, and if we are getting the vibe from them that they are not into it, we will leave. DH and I have been to WDW a few times (I've been more than I can remember) and we know we'll be back in the future. We are not going to "Do it all". We are not going to ride as many rides as we can. We are going to SPEND TIME TOGETHER as a family, which we don't get very often due to DH's work schedule.

We are going to, most importantly FOLLOW OUR KIDS LEAD. That's it. We will let them sit and stare at the flower arrangements at Epcot for hours if that is what they want to do. Just want to see them happy and enjoying themselves.

Try to lay off on the Disney talk. I find that with my kids, they get over anxious the more I talk about stuff in advance. Plus, the more you "plan" the more you will be disappointed when those plans don't pan out.

Good luck! I hope you have a great time with your family.

 

[Wendy5055]

With my dd8 I did find that the WDW stroller worked very well as it provided a sort of cubby for her to go into. It has the canopy with back and side covers. She used it up until our trip in May 2009 (double one) and she preferred the escape option from the overstimulation in the parks.

We also tend to have a more relaxed and laid back touring style allowing my dd to get a feel for her environment without overtaxing her (stimulation wise).

I hope you have a magical trip!

 

[maxiesmom]

Are you in coach on the train, or do you have your own room? Because if you are in coach you will need to add headphones to your to-buy list. You kids will need them for the DVD player and the MP3 players.

 

[MandM-Mom]

My 2 oldest daughters are at odds constant so when we travel we seperate them....one of us takes the middle and the other takes the oldest and our youngest, I put my oldest with my youngest because my oldest requires less guidance than my middle and my youngest is 3 and 1/2 and she needs 100% help from me due to her special needs from down syndrome. I guess what I am trying to say is seperate the girls in a way to help you through the situation and get you through with the most help where needed, confused myself on that one
Most of all, like others have said let the kids take the lead and you and your husband follow and soak it all in, the joy the laughter the tears enjoy it all, its all part of the experience of the Magical place and it all makes for the best memories a parent could ask for

 

[Family Loves Disney]

We are at POR Alligator Bayou now, and I am dealing with the same issues you are. DS has autism and DD is neurotypical (or normal), DH's new name is GRUMPY! DD is having behavior issues because she is the sibling of a special needs child, and both kids are fighting constantly! DS is overstimulated and is having mini meltdowns, of course, DH will not let us take DS's service animal with us to the parks, so I have to deal with the meltdowns, not fun! DH is constantly saying negative remarks about me and Disney, he thinks he is being funny, but he isn't! This is my birthday week and I am miserable having to deal with all of that!. My only good day was when I told dd that we would have a girls only day and we would do anything she wanted to do. We spent the day at DTD and shopped. She looked up at me and said, "this is the best day ever Mommy and you are the best mommy in the world!" All of my stress was gone, I actually enjoyed my time with her - no therapy sessions to drag her to (which include OT, PT, & speech for ds), no griping husband saying that "I have the Mickey syndrome" jokes, no meltdowns to deal with (not saying that I don't love my son, I love him with all my heart, but it is just nice to have a day without all of the autism stuff to deal with). Anyway, this turned out to be a vent session instead of a helpful reply. Sorry. As for the girls, I would plan a day to spend with them, let dh take care of the child with autism, and let them have one on one time with you, it will give you a break and let them enjoy being with you without your other child overpower their time or attention from you. I HTH, spending that one day with my dd has helped her behavior and attitude. Good luck.

 

[Skyw]

Check out the Disability forum on this site!!!! I planned a trip for someone with special needs kids and there is tons of info there. Please read this!!! There is so many ways to help!!!! And to lessen the "melt downs". I don't think you need to cancel!! Just prepare yourself and your kids.

I also agree with the other poster about staying at the cabins. Or the quieter part of PO.

There is also a book just for kids with special needs out. I believe it is a Passporter book for WDW (disabilities).

 

[badblackpug]

I would agree to try to keep the kids separated so they are not given the opportunity to argue. I can't really help you with you daughter's behavior related to her autism, as I have no experience with that, other than to say try to do what you do at home to help keep her calm. I wanted to add that on our last trip we saw a little boy at Tusker house restaurant wearing a button on his shirt that said "Please be patient, I have autism." It was a nice idea to help other guests and cast members understand and be prepared for behaviors they may not typically expect.