Down when a guy gave me hope :(

[Gala]

Now i feel awful for posting about how im feeling right now, because there is far more unfair things happening to people everywhere who are dealing with pain far worse than i could ever imagine and i realize how stupid this post may be, but ive lost alot of hope to feel better and i know my family has had enough. I was engaged to a guy and i was planning my whole life with him...i wanted everything...he was my best friend. though things didnt seem right in our relationship....a day before he left for louisiana i asked him if we were working out...ready to hear the worst i was ready to pack my things.........but he left me with hope...he told me he wanted me to move away with him to louisiana as thats were his new job was...he said if i could prove to him i could hanndle his absence for two weeks then he would be more than happy to keep on going with our relationship...so he left and i felt good about us, i didnt talk to him much while he was away but when it came close to him coming home, we talked a little, he made me feel uneasy about where we stood in our relationship so i asked him if he thought we would work out...(like i had before he left....) and he said no....an wanted to call it quits....here i was happy as i could be looking forward to moving with him and he pulled the rug out from under me just like that changed his mind...it just hurts so much and for three weeks now my head wont rest...i cant get any peace and tonight was one of the worst nights ive had, and made me feel severly mentaly unstable...i feel as though i dont want to be around anymore...i just want some peace from this horrible heartbreak and i cant get it. id talk to my family but its just no good anymore, i dont know who to turn to its gotten so bad...ive lost any intrest in anything, all i can focus on is how much i wish it would go away i tried asking him for his help but obviously he didnt respond....i dont know why im surprised. i just feel like im getting lower an lower into this depression and i would really appreciate some words of advice or compasion..(again like i said i feel a little horrible for asking this when theres so many more people who need kind words more than i do..but i feel like ive got no where else to go )

 

[quasar4legs]

I am glad you posted here, there are many lovely people ready to listen and give you a
Please don't feel awful for posting here, this board is here for everyone who needs a little comfort and you have experienced a terrible shock and loss.

I know that words cannot mend a broken heart but I hope tonight that they can bring you a little comfort during this sad time. It must have been hard to be making plans for your future with this man to find out that he does not feel the same way. I cannot imagine that emotional pain.
You deserve to be with someone that loves and cherishes you for who you are as a person.

If you continue to feel depressed please talk to your doctor or a counselor as sometimes we need a little extra help to get through difficult times in our lives.
Please know that your life is valuable and that in time the pain will start to ease ...............I wish this journey could be an easy one for you.

I am truly sorry that you are feeling so sad and feel free to post here as often as you need. If you would like to have a big chat send me a PM.

I am worried for you and would urge you to do what you have done tonight and reach out to people if you need help.

Sending you a BIG Koala cuddle from

Quasar

 

[mommasita]

I am so sorry to hear about the pain you are in.

This is so easy for me to say, but one day you will thank him for this. Impossible to see now, without a doubt. You deserve so much more, and you will find it.

I agree with everything Quasar has said. Feel free to talk here anytime.

 

[Gala]

Thank you Quasar An mommasita your kind words are a huge help,i was really scared last night and it is such a help to see a read that your here to help, i cant say enough how much i appreciate your kind words an advice. thank you both so much xx(im really glad to know if i feel this way i can know i can talk to someone an will defintley keep your advice to talk in a pm if i get as low as i was last night, thank you so much xx )

 

[Christine]

I think most of us have probably been through that really bad breakup where we thought everything was cool but the other person had a different idea.

I know that YOU know in your head this is for the better. You don't ever want to partner up with someone who does not feel equally about you. It will always be rocky, always be full of turmoil, and you will always feel insecure.

It will take some time to get over the loss and the shock of it all but it will get easier, even though in the short term it might feel worse on some days. If you find that after a few months go by and you are still obsessing about it rather then just feeling regret over the loss, you would want to try to talk to someone. But I think it's perfectly normal to feel so RAW now.

 

[Gala]

Your right about that christine,deep down i do know im better off i spent alot of the last month in the relationship miserable. like you said its just sort of dealing with the schock and pain of going through the break up after put so much into it, i really hope it can ease up a bit in the next month id do anything for some peace in my head. thank you for your advice i really apreciate it xx

 

[quasar4legs]

Hi Gala,

Just wondering how you have been doing over the last few days, I have been thinking of you

Quasar

 

[Gala]

Hi Quasar, im going so send you a pm

 

[quasar4legs]

Hi Quasar, im going so send you a pm

Ok, I'll keep an eye out for your message

Quasar

 

[Gala]

i dont know if it went through

 

[quasar4legs]

i dont know if it went through

Just got it, will reply in a few mins via PM.

Quasar

 

[glammadiva]

I am so sorry for your pain and loss. You feel like your heart and guts have been ripped out and you know there will never be anyone in your life again. I've walked in your shoes before and am
walking in them right now. Our hearts tell us one thing and our heads tell us something else. There will be hours when we take one step forward then 4 steps back. All we can do is know that it will get better and while we know we will never be happy again we will be. Tie a knot on the end of that rope and hang on tight. We have no place to go but up. Hugs from one mending heart to another.

 

[Gala]

I am so sorry for your pain and loss. You feel like your heart and guts have been ripped out and you know there will never be anyone in your life again. I've walked in your shoes before and am
walking in them right now. Our hearts tell us one thing and our heads tell us something else. There will be hours when we take one step forward then 4 steps back. All we can do is know that it will get better and while we know we will never be happy again we will be. Tie a knot on the end of that rope and hang on tight. We have no place to go but up. Hugs from one mending heart to another.

Thank you glammadiva, its so true. One day i feel like ive moved a step forward and then one evening i make a small mistake and move three weeks backwards.

I hope you are doing alright glammadiva,people have been kind enough to talk with me and very helpfull on this board such as Quasar and mamasita and you too its so nice and i apreciate your words of kindness so much and it helps so much to have someone to talk to pm me if you ever want im here to talk even if i may not be 100%

 

[Deesknee]

sending

When I carried pain that was so heavy, I reluctantly spoke with a professional. It truly helped. I still feel some of that pain, but I have "tools" to help ME cope. No medication, just simple strategies for me.

Let us help you ease your pain, BUT please find a professional to talk to... even if it is your medical physician, or a therapist for a few sessions. I am not by any means an expert. I have a friend who became overwhelmed with a life situation. He spoke to his medical doctor about it. Was told sometimes these type of life events trigger a chemical response. he was put on meds for a few months. That was years ago, he is back to his old self now. No need for meds. No therapist appointments. He was given the "tools" HE needed.

I am truly sorry for the pain/grief you are experiencing.

 

[Gala]

thank you for your advice deesknee,i do wish i was able to talk to a profesional, its just dificult to get to one at the moment, i may look into that help when i have moved back to the u.k. lately hasnt been so bad thankfully, waking up i dont feel so depressed anymore everynow an then i may get a little down but i think its getting better...but i wont say it to fast because bad days come around quicker than i said i was starting to feel better.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Hi Gala, I'm glad you are having moments where the pain is a little less intense. I've experienced the type of grief you are feeling when someone I was with for a long time told me he had moved on. It took a while but eventually there were more painless then painful moments. Just keep pushing through and getting support wherever you can and know us Disers are here for you.

 

[brat]

Just wanted to see how you are holding up? Sending hugs.

 

[Deesknee]

thinking of you.

 

[Deparfea]

I was just wondering how you were doing? When I read your post, I certainly could relate. I had a boyfriend break up with me many years ago and I remember the feeling, vividly, of not being able to fathom a future without him. I can tell you that it really does get better. I know it's terribly painful now, but I am grateful for your sake, that this happened BEFORE you moved so that you can start healing now. Best wishes to you, and do let us know how you're doing.

 

[Gala]

Thank you everyone for your support your all so nice i cant tell you how apreciative i am
Ive been doing alot better, hes found a way to creep back into dreams wish i could control that but doing better for sure, every now an then i have my moments yesterday i was at hollywood studios and at times i felt left out when i was with my sis an her b/f its hard to watch sometimes knowing that he was supposed to be with me in the parks as well..and i had gotten quite upset but after a little cry i felt alot better. i had been to wizarding world the day before and had such an amazing time i didnt give him any thought at all! so just reminds me some days are better than others. i dont feel angry anymore or depressed so thats a good sign, and im able to talk about things that ive done with him without feeling sad or anything im really looking forward to moving back to england and seeing my family i just cant wait.