Don't want to over react, don't want to under react....

[Mermaid02]

My son is 9 and in third grade. Day before yesterday "Chuck" (another boy in the class who we have had MANY problems with this year) told ds and a little girl in class, "I wish I had a knife so I could stab you and kill you". My son told and they all went to the office where a friend of mine happened to be (she is PTO president and was doing some paperwork) She said Chuck ran his mouth and berated my son the ENTIRE time the teacher was with the principal. The secretary told him to be quiet multiple times. My friend said finally Jack said, "Chuck, I'm not talking to you anymore" and he sat in his chair, closed his eyes and basically shut Chuck "out", all the while chuck's yap is flapping.

Anyway, I NEVER even got a phone call from the school. I got all of my info from Jack and my friend. I waited to see if Chuck was suspended, but he was in school yesterday. My Mother is beside herself and says I should tell the school I am thinking of calling the authorities, which I think is a stretch, but this is serious.

What would you do?

 

[dolphindan1]

Being that I have a 9 year old myself....I would first discuss it with my son....get his side of the story and use it as a life lesson for him.....Then I would tell my employeer I would be late in the morning and I would have a little conference with the school Principal and involve any necessary parties. I dont think you can do much about it as it was just child speak but I would make the school aware of my concern and that they may have a potential problem with this kid. and if anything happens I will hold them responsible.....but you also need to make sure your child did nothing to provoke this remark, even if it is not a appropriate remark, if your child or any other child provoked it they need to be reprimanded too....just my 2 cents

 

[Mermaid02]

Apparently, Jack was sitting in the seat Chuck wanted during chorus. Chuck became enraged when Jack wouldn't move and the girls on either side of Jack told Chuck that Jack was sitting in the right place.

 

[Stitchfans]

I would be concerned. That is a very disturbing thing for one child to say to another. With all that has been going on lately I wouldn't take it lightly. And IMO the principal should of brought it to your attention. I would of asked him/her why they didn't.

 

[Wishing on a star]

The fact that this kid went on and on and on... That is bullying and harassment.

I would not allow the school to subject my son to that kind of harassment. It is not an appropriate learning environment.

Two words: ZERO TOLERANCE

I am thinking that I would visit the Principal and make sure that he understands that I will not allow this to continue. I would want to see that any necessary steps were taken to separate the two boys, and hopefully discipline the other boy. (While you do not have the right to know details, you should be assured that this will be handled appropriately)

I also would be wondering why I was not notified that my son was called into the Principal's office and was being harassed/bullied by another student. At the very least, a note should have come home.

 

[4greatboys]

I think you should have been notified and I would ask to speak to someone about it. Bullying kids has got to be nipped in the bud and you just cant take threats lightly these days. To many kids actually act out on their threats.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Nip it in the bud. I also have a 9yodd.

Think of it this way...the adults are having a hard time handling this kid. No way can you expect your son to do a better job than they do.

Kudos to the eavesdropper for giving you a heads up! She wouldn't have said anything had she have the "alarm bells" go off.

When my older dd went up against a huge disturbed bully in 3rd grade, (he flipped her desk over with her in it), I was never informed until she got home. "They handled it"...baloney she got injured! AND they had her talk about what happened in front of this monster!

So I had to institute a rule at that school that of she is injured by a child then she is too keep silent until her parents were callled.

 

[crazee4mickey]

That is very disturbing behaviour for a child--even if he was mad there is absolutely no reason to make a statement like that---I have to agree that this is reason to worry for your son's safety.
I am an educational assistant and have worked with behaviour students for 13 years, I would be mortified if any of them ever said anything close to this!
Believe me, some of the students I have worked with needed to be monitored 24 hours a day.
I would be furious with the school for not even phoning to let you know of the incident and then to find out he never even got suspended

 

[floridafam]

This is the 2nd thread I've seen about children being threatened.

What is with these schools?

Zero tolerance!!!! Plain and simple. If someone threatened to stab me, I'd go to the police.

 

[KelNottAt]

Contact the principal by email first. Document everything you know in writing. Date, time, place, actions, discipline, etc. Advise the principal that you expect to be notified in the future if anything similar happens. Let him/her know that, in the future, this email will serve as the first record of a potential problem that went unaddressed, or at least unreported.

I know my suggestion might sound like an overreaction. But, I'm just baffled by the unresponsiveness of a principal on another thread (the 8th grader, 2 bullies, school liaison, damaged cap, etc.) and I think keeping copious records of what happened and when could nip a situation in the bud.

Good luck.

 

[Rajah]

Absolutely contact the principal. You should have been told by them, and Chuck should be getting something more than just a trip to the principal's office.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, unfortunately, going back the last few months, there have been several threads with incompetent Principals in situatians like this.

A parent, unfortunately, sometimes has to step forward, and make sure that the school is, in fact, looking out for your child.

This is not over-reacting at all.

It does not sound like this other student even got any kind of discipline or reprimand. This is just not the way to nip this in the bud. They sat idle and let your son handle this by himself. I would have been mortified to hear from your friend that they let this other boy verbally accost your son, on and on, right there in the Principal's office.

Not acceptable....

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, I would consider it disturbing on several levels:
1. Chuck is a behavior problem of some sort
2. It seems as if the adults can't handle him...what adult lets a 9 y/o ramble on and on as they are sitting in the Principal's office?
3. While I truly don't think Chuck is going to bring a knife to school and stab anyone, it saddens me to hear that a 9 y/o is even speaking like that. Where did he learn that? What happens to him that he carries such anger inside at such a young age?
4. The school didn't call you regarding this incident

I would request a meeting with the Principal and inform him/her about oyur concerns and that in the future if your child is involved in anything that requires going to the Principal's office, then you are to be notified.

I would keep written documentation of everything, so thta if this escalates, you have details and facts.