Does anyone regret NOT having another child??

[Tinks]

I'm sitting on the proverbial fence and I need advice. I have 3 boys whom I love and are great..ages 7,5 and 1. Great Disney kids!! My husband would like one more. I think I would like one more also but I'm so torn. Right now we are at such a great place in our lives. My husband has a good income, we have a beautiful home, my kids go to a very parental-involved private school, I'm in better shape now than when I was in my twenties...do I want to introduce another child into this equation and disrupt the status quo??? I think I could be happy raising our three and be done...(less worries about getting them through college, less worries about bills, less worries about where to stay at Disney, less worries about the pregnancy and getting back ro shape after...).....has anyone been in my shoes and had regrets? Am I crazy for thinking of having four kids?? (Six-Time Momma can't reply to that one! )

 

[GailT]

My only son is going to be 21 next month. 4 kids are expensive let alone the way the world is. I just had one and I am happy with that decision.

 

[tiggerlover]

My only child is 7 and although I am happy with our family, I really wish I could have another child. Unfortuneately for me it isn't a decision I can make whether to have another or not. It took me 10 long years to have DS and we have tried to have another baby, but it isn't meant to be. You sound like you have been blessed and I think either way life will be good.

 

[grinningghost]

While I technically have 2 kids (I have a stepson, but he lives on his own), for all intents and purposes, I have 1 child. At one time I really longed for another child, but now that she's 14, I am very glad we didn't have another one. This one child alone is so expensive. If I had another one, I don't know how I'd ever afford it. When she was small, I worried about her, that she didn't have a playmate all the time. Now that she's a teenager, she has a ton of friends (who often park themselves at our house anyway). She's a happy kid and DH and I both know we did the right thing.

Also, I am an only-child and have no regrets. And definitely was NEVER spoiled. My parents were the toughest on the block.

 

[DoeWDW]

Hubby and I had two kids - DS 15 and DD 14. I didn't want any more. I figured I had a hand for each kid - didn't want one running around loose! Two kids were stressful enough for me.

However, I have several friends with 4 or more children. They all felt that the big adjustment was when they had their 3rd child. After that, the fourth, fifth, etc were easy, according to them.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[mckryan]

First, let me say how lucky you are to have 3 wonderful boys. I'm 37, DH is 42 and we have one daughter, almost 12. We never saw ourselves with one child, but it's just the way things have worked out. So, I would have to answer your question with a resounding YES about regrets. DH is active-duty military, and between deployments and moving and not having medical care that would do fertility testing, we've found ourselves at this point in our lives. My heart aches every time I see a baby because we both would really like another. Then I wonder if we are crazy wanting to basically start all over again? We aren't preventing, and haven't for some time, but we have not been blessed with another child. I'm just hoping I can find some peace about it one day. I wish you luck with your decision.

 

[Michelle]

I used to. I had my DD at 33 and we had hope for another child but it just didn't happen (we had difficulty conceiving her as well).

Once I hit 38 and it was apparent that we were not going to conceive naturally we seriously considered adoption for a couple of years. But when 40 came it just seemed like our lives were settled, my DD was seven (and a handful) and slowly the baby ache went away.

Three years later I don't regret not having another child. We travel a fair amount and it's just simpler with one. She's turning 10 this week and we just got her a fur baby sister (a new kitty) and we feel complete as a family.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[BrerMom]

We have three and so far have no regrets about not having four. We're taking my nephew with us on vacation and I finally had to give up and book two hotel rooms for the six of us. Almost all hotel rooms have two double or queen beds plus a maximum of one roll-away. Suddenly, I'm very thankful we can still travel and stay in one room.

I have two friends that both have three boys and are on the waiting list to adopt a little girl. My cousin has five boys and wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[disykat]

I have two, but always wanted three of four. We considered adoption, but were afraid with our inlaw problems we would flunk the homestudy so we never pursued it - expense was also an issue. I actually find myself quite content with my two boys! Dh says the same.

 

[GIGGLES266]

I will be 40 next month, have 3 teenage sons and would have another baby in a minute! If my husband felt the same way, I would have 3 more after that. Your decision is a hard one, good luck.

 

[4greatboys]

Well I have 4 so I'll add in my .02 I love having all 4 of the boys. I always wanted a big family and I really enjoy it. My boys are spread out 16 (in Sept), 13, 3 and 1. After each of the first 3 I still felt my family wasnt complete. We did have a hard time getting pg with 3 and 4. We were even considering adoption before I got pg with #4. But I had laproscopic surgery and that helped him to get here After #4 I felt our family was complete.
Barring infertility issues I think most people know when they are done having kids.
Sometimes it is rougher with the baby, trying to watch my 2 oldest boys at football games and such but they grow so fast the tough years are over before you know it then bam! they are driving and going off to college.
Just talk it over between the 2 of you, if you both want another then go for it. Good Luck!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Perhaps I can help. My neighbor who has 3 boys is due in Dec. with her 4th child a GIRL (which is what she was praying for) asked me how you knew you were done. She was in the same position, unsure, although she did want a girl.

I told her, when you know, you are 100% sure. You say, "NO!"

Well she now tells me, after this one she is 100% done.

Although I would like more & dh would too I am almost 39 and have health/fertility issues, I told dh to visit the doc because with our luck I would have a menopause baby.
Even though I would love more, I am done.
I have regrets. I should have gone to a fertility clinic and tried harder to have more kids. Maybe it was for the best.
Good Luck

 

[imgoingtodisney]

We tried for a very long time to have a second child but it wasnt meant to be. Went through a very difficult time when others around me were getting pregnant over and over and I couldnt.
Took years to get pregnant with DS and we tried for years after.

 

[wdwnutze]

I had a son and then a daughter and we decided for financial reasons we were done. I always wanted more kids but it wasn't meant to be. I had many regrets. Well, we had a surprise baby. I knew for sure after #3 that I was done and I had my tubes tied when she was 6mos. old. I never thought I would "Know" when I was done but I do Know when you are done. I do wish my kids were closer in age but I wouldn't change any of them for anything.(19ds, 11dd, 4dd). I agree that the biggest transition is from 2 to 3. It was tough.

 

[MAC3]

My DD is 11 and our only. Although we will not have anymore at this point in our life.
I feel bad everyday that she will never have any nieces or nephews of her own. Or no one to share the grief with when something happens to her father and I.

Oh well, too late now!

 

[peg2001]

Wow, what a tough question. We are in a similar position. We have 2 DDs and THINK we are done but keep questioning whether we should have child #3. My reasons for stopping at 2 are all practical and my reasons for having another one are all emotional.

Good luck!
Peggy

 

[Talking Hands]

I truely wish I could have had more children. I wanted half a dozen but as luck would have it, my medial problems made it impossible. Probably the biggest disappointment of my life. I don't think you are crazy at all.

 

[mommystieg]

I wanted at least 4 kids but we got a late start. I was 30 when our first DD was born and then decided to finish college and get a "real" job. When we ready for another we experienced fertility issues. DD#2 is now 3 and I am also on the fence about another child. We are at a good place in our lives right now but there are days that I would love to have another child. We are also not doing anything to prevent it but given our history it is unlikely it will happen naturally. I know I am going to have to come terms with this soon since I am 41. Good luck with your decision!!

 

[ZebraStripes]

This is a timely question....while I'm not wondering if I want a 4th...i'm wondering if I want a 2nd. DH was ready to get a v, but left it totally on my shoulders to make the final decision. I told him I can't say yes or no at this point. I think I'd like to but DD had such a rough start in life, I wouldn't want another child to have to go through the same thing. I feel extremely guilty she doesn't have any siblings though. Thats probably the hardest part for me. I just past 36, so i guess i'll have to decide one of these days.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Am I crazy for thinking of having four kids?? (Six-Time Momma can't reply to that one! )

Hey!!! Why can't I answer?!?! LOL!!

We thought we were done after our 5th. We felt we had a full house, we were getting older (well, DH was.....I'm forever young!! ) , etc. So, DH had a vasectomy. I almost immediately regreted it. I realized that I still did want another, but eventually came to accept we REALLY were done. WRONG!! Two years after the big "V", God granted us a pregnancy with Gabrielle. And now, I am expecting again, of course.

As for your situation, that is a hard one to answer. I think emotions take a bigger toll than practicality, so I almost think if you feel in your heart that you want another, but are thinking practical reasons not to, then I think regret may happen. On the other hand, once these feelings pass, you may look at how comfortable your life is, and be glad you stopped with the ones you have.

Best of luck in whatever decision you make!