Does anyone deal with a sarcastic person every day?

[Mermaid02]

Keeping a promise to myself to not throw any of my family members under the bus on a public forum, I'll just say that a very close family member, that I see every day, is a sarcastic person and it really bothers me. I've brought it up before, numerous times, but it doesn't get me anywhere - because the person doesn't realize that they are doing it. The response I get is "I didn't realize I was being sarcastic - that's just the way I talk", or "How else am I supposed to say it?" etc. etc. How do you deal with somebody like that - whom you love and has other great qualities - but whose way of speaking really irks you?

Only every time I look in the mirror

Maybe they find you "irktastic" too

The only person you can change is yourself. Words to live by.

 

[NikitaZee]

Only every time I look in the mirror

Maybe they find you "irktastic" too

The only person you can change is yourself. Words to live by.

LOL I'm sure you are right about that

 

[Carly_Roach]

I've ended relationships because I don't like to deal with sarcastic people.

Me, too. I can deal with a droll sense of humor. I can deal with a dry sense of humor. I will endure a slapstick sense of humor to a point.

But what I absolutely, positively will not put up with is meanness cloaked in sarcasm.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Send the person an anonymous copy of Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

 

[Wishing on a star]

Sometimes it just irks the crap out of me.

Yep, then that is 'your' problem....

remember the old adage... You can't change (and should never expect to change) another persons attitudes and bahaviors - only your own reaction to them....

Unless you are this person's mother - you are not the 'behavior police'

PS: if these are sometimes personal, judgmental, hurtful ( TOXIC ) comments about YOU - then the content is indeed an issue... but sarcasm and negativity that does not affect you personally.... give it up.... be like ummmmm... whatever.... and

 

[a paper star]

I am an extremely sarcastic person, so is my grandma. Several people I encounter on a daily basis (related or not) don't understand my humor they think I'm being mean but to be fair I wouldn't understand their humor.

 

[NikitaZee]

Yep, then that is 'your' problem....

remember the old adage... You can't change (and should never expect to change) another persons attitudes and bahaviors - only your own reaction to them....

Unless you are this person's mother - you are not the 'behavior police'

PS: if these are sometimes personal, judgmental, hurtful ( TOXIC ) comments about YOU - then the content is indeed an issue... but sarcasm and negativity that does not affect you personally.... give it up.... be like ummmmm... whatever.... and

Fair enough. These aren't personal attacks or anything like that, so I guess the best I can do is let it roll off my back. I'm not going to lie, though - it's hard. Sarcasm isn't my style - I'd rather someone put their opinions out there in the open where I can see them instead of cloaking them with snark. But - since this person has so many great qualities that more than make up for that, I can just roll my eyes I guess!

 

[Robinrs]

My employees and my son have to deal with ME everyday!

Sarcasm, the native language of Brooklyn, whatEVAH...

 

[Mandychelle79]

Im a sarcastic person by nature. Im also very blunt and tell it like it is...

 

[disfan07]

my entire family is very sarcastic. It comes in handy just because we are all very quick witted and I am excellent on timing and come backs.

One of my professors is EXTREMELY sarcastic. She tries to contain it in class but after class its no mercy sarcasm with her and it is soooo much fun.

I think if it's something you grew up with, you're used to it.

I grew up with family like that (especially my dad) and my friends are sarcastic as well.

For us, its not meanness....its just very very dry sarcasm (but we also all have very dirty minds....especially my professor so the sarcasm goes along with that too i think)

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

No offense, but you sound kind of humorless, if you can't take hearing someone be sarcastic about something external to your relationship (I mean, he isn't being sarcastic about you, right?).

Either you enjoy communciating with a person or you don't. You can't like a person's content and dislike his delivery and make the relationship work.

I could never live with a person that didn't find me funny.

 

[ticktock]

I have a very dry, sarcastic type of humor even to the point of being mean sometimes. My DS says "Mom's only mean to the people she likes" by which he means I only joke around with the people who "get it" because I DON'T want to actually hurt anyone's feelings that's just the way I am.

I used to wonder if I really did hurt DS's feelings and then he got older and started dating girls JUST LIKE ME. So now I don't know if he likes that type of humor or I've just damaged him irreparably .

 

[MissMet]

I am a very sarcastic person & I can tell you it's not something you can "turn off" or stop.

I'm not talking mean, harsh or nasty comments, I'm just talking about a sarcatic personality. A lot of the time I'll actually be having a serious conversation & I have my family or friends interrupt me with laughter & I'm not even trying to be funny or sarcastic, I'm just being serious & me. So honestly if I even tried to "turn it off" I would be limited to one word answers.


Long story short, you can't stop a sarcastic person from being sarcastic, unless of course they are rude, nasty, etc., 'cause that's not sarcasm, that's just rude & a lack of manners. But everyday sarcasm- no off button.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

I am married to one, gave birth to two, and see one in the mirror each morning.

We are all pretty thick skinned and relentless towards each other at times. I know some others are "uncomfortable" with it. I really don't think it's something you can control... either you are sarcastic or you are not. We have some relatives that just avoid us at all costs and that is fine with us!

Sorry, I am not much help. Have you tried discussing this point blank with the individual?? Might give that a try. If someone sincerely came to me and wanted to discuss it I would listen to them. It may not change anything, but at least each party would have a chance to speak their mind. Good luck!

 

[aristocatz]

I ended a longtime close friendship with someone because of her sarcasm. We were friends for almost 20 years, but it just got to the point where I dreaded being around her.

I knew she was never going to change & it really just ruined any of her good qualities. She was also quite arrogant, so mixed with the sarcasm, she acted very elitist.

I can handle some sarcasm, but too much of it really aggravates me.

 

[Planogirl]

People can be funny sarcastic or mean sarcastic. We've always had a lot of funny sarcastic people in our family luckily.

 

[NikitaZee]

No offense, but you sound kind of humorless, if you can't take hearing someone be sarcastic about something external to your relationship (I mean, he isn't being sarcastic about you, right?).

Either you enjoy communciating with a person or you don't. You can't like a person's content and dislike his delivery and make the relationship work.

I could never live with a person that didn't find me funny.

Oh - I do find this person funny, we laugh all the time. I don't like the sarcasm when it's really a disguised 'dig' at something. Just because the dig is not at me, doesn't mean it's not a dig - I know the motives behind it. For instance - we have a family member that never goes outside - not afraid of the outdoors, just spends all day inside watching TV. So, a comment was made by person inside "Wow, the weather says rain today". Sarcastic dig was "Well you don't have to worry about that - the weather is always the same on the couch". Person on the couch became defensive. Yes, I chuckled at that, but it was still sarcasm, no? I can appreciate that humor - just not all the time.

 

[NikitaZee]

I am a very sarcastic person & I can tell you it's not something you can "turn off" or stop.

I'm not talking mean, harsh or nasty comments, I'm just talking about a sarcatic personality. A lot of the time I'll actually be having a serious conversation & I have my family or friends interrupt me with laughter & I'm not even trying to be funny or sarcastic, I'm just being serious & me. So honestly if I even tried to "turn it off" I would be limited to one word answers.


Long story short, you can't stop a sarcastic person from being sarcastic, unless of course they are rude, nasty, etc., 'cause that's not sarcasm, that's just rude & a lack of manners. But everyday sarcasm- no off button.

Yes - this happens all the time. Soo many times this person is just talking away and we all start laughing - and the comment is usually "What's so funny? I wasn't trying to be funny". I understand that it's just a way of speaking, can't be helped - that's why this thread is helping me understand it as not a mean-spirited thing, but a natural dry wit, I think.

Sorry, I am not much help. Have you tried discussing this point blank with the individual?? Might give that a try. If someone sincerely came to me and wanted to discuss it I would listen to them. It may not change anything, but at least each party would have a chance to speak their mind. Good luck!

Yeah, we actually talk about it and usually come to an agreement - I'll try and lighten up, and you'll refrain from the digs when the kids are around. It usually works well - yesterday morning I just needed to vent

 

[Arielle22]

Oh - I do find this person funny, we laugh all the time. I don't like the sarcasm when it's really a disguised 'dig' at something. Just because the dig is not at me, doesn't mean it's not a dig - I know the motives behind it. For instance - we have a family member that never goes outside - not afraid of the outdoors, just spends all day inside watching TV. So, a comment was made by person inside "Wow, the weather says rain today". Sarcastic dig was "Well you don't have to worry about that - the weather is always the same on the couch". Person on the couch became defensive. Yes, I chuckled at that, but it was still sarcasm, no? I can appreciate that humor - just not all the time.

Wouldn't the person on the couch have become just as defensive if your friend bluntly said " you spend too much time indoors?"

My family is very sarcastic along as are the people we married and gave birth too. As my older niece told my daughter when she was younger "it is how we show love, get used to it". We also say our family motto is "we mock because we love".

Even in emails (we email several times a day as a group) you say something and then have to make a P.S. about something you know someone will try to zing you back about.

It has toughened us up for the world though. I tell my boss, no one can be as mean as my family. I did have to learn to curtail it at work. Once when I was first in the workplace I made a coworker cry.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Sarcasm is just another service I offer.

As you can see by my tag, it's something we share. When DD would whine about being hungry, DH and I would tease and say: Sorry, it's not your day to eat. Maybe tomorrow. And we'd all laugh. It became even funnier when DD got older and would reply, with a somewhat forlorn, sad look on her face "okay, I understand" or "okay, I can wait". I love to see the look on the faces of the people around us. This big, pooh-sized mom telling the skinny kid she can't eat. I can imagine what goes through their minds.

I said something to DD one day and she said, you hurt my feelings. I said, no I didn't, your just like me -- you don't have any feelings. It broke the tension, we both laughed and then I apologized for hurting her feelings. We joke like that ALL the time. I guess it seems a little rough to others, but it's just the way we are. I also tend to surround myself with likeminded people, so it's usually not a problem.