Do you treat your teens differently??

[Cantw8]

I admit, I do For all my talk of equality amongst the sexes, yeah...I give my 17 DS way more freedom than my soon to be 16 DD I can't help it, it's not that I don't trust her, it's just that there is sooo much more out there that can happen to a young female than a young male. I'm not inviting flames here, just venting because I feel bad for how I feel. When DS says some "friend" is coming to pick him up and they're going to a hockey game, I really have no problem with it...of course I want to meet the friend, the friend will come in and talk to me. When DD says she wants to go somewhere with someone, I am immediately suspicious and more times than not will tell her she can not go unless I drive her The thought of a couple of 16 year old girls out in cars, going to malls just makes me nuts I know what was going through my head at that age Anyone else feel like this or am I a rotten mother?

 

[Serena]

No you're not a rotten mother. I think we treat all our kids differently and frankly, they are different. It wouldn't make sense to treat them exactly equally.

Both of mine are girls. With my oldest, I had to grow thick skin and be more stubborn than she was. It was noisy in this house for a couple years.
With my youngest, she's just starting the teen stuff, but she's totally different in many respects. I don't have to raise my voice to her, well rarely. She does her homework, etc, etc. She's much easier for me to deal with.

I don't have any experience with boys vs girls, but I do know the trouble I got into. I am pretty strict with them.

Or was, my oldest is now 21.

 

[Serena]

OH man, I know. With Brittany I made the mistake of telling her that if she could find a way to do what she wants within my limitations, then she could do it.

I should have been a lawyer. She would want to know exactly what my limitations were and why and what she could do to get around it. Then she'd go sulk for an hour and start up again.

I eventually started saying, because I said so. There were just some things I was not going to budge on and she couldn't/wouldn't understand it.

It's not for the faint of heart that's for sure.

 

[Robinrs]

My parents treated my sister and I differently as teens because we WERE different. I was the kind of kid who did everything her parents told her, my sister did the OPPOSITE. They had to have a tight leash on her, I never even had a curfew.

My son is 14 now and I barely worry about him, he's just like I was. I do agree with worrying more about girls than boys, I worry about the girls my son is around!!!

 

[VirtuallyMe]

I treated my dd and ds differently because they are completely different.

When dd who is almost 15 was 5 I joked about getting bars for her bedroom window- and my mom was horrified because if there was a house fire it would be dangerout... and I told her that the likelihood of her burning to death in her room was much less than it would be of her sneaking out of the window in her teens

Well we don't have bars but after she was caught sneaking out to go meet a friend at 11pm her windows have been nailed shut- I told her if there is a fire to feel free to break the window.

My DS who is now 18 almost 19 was always very open about where he was going- was never late coming home- usually made it home long before we told him he needed to be home. so he was offered more freedom in what he did/does- because he has shown us responsibility in it.

As kids growing up I was the youngest of 3 girls- I had way more privilages then my older sisters because I was open and honest with my parents- if I was going out to a party and the parents were out of town where the party was being held- my mom and dad knew about it... I never had an actual curfew- and if I would be much later than what I told my parents I would be I'd just call home... my sisters would have snuck around, snuck out of the house, and lied about where they were...

So not a bad mom just cautious...

 

[Lesleyluvsdisney]

No way are you a rotten mother - totally see where you are coming from!!

OMG! now I am totally freakin out about the DD6!!! growing up.

My DHs friend said something "profound" when our daughter was born (he has a son) "well congrats, but just remember when you have a son you only have ONE ------ to worry about but with a daughter you have EVERY guy's to worry about!!!

PS hope this doesnt cause offence (not being rude) but I hope you get the sentiment.

Anyway girls are smarter than boys! - dont worry xx

 

[Cantw8]

My parents treated my sister and I differently as teens because we WERE different. I was the kind of kid who did everything her parents told her, my sister did the OPPOSITE. They had to have a tight leash on her, I never even had a curfew.

My son is 14 now and I barely worry about him, he's just like I was. I do agree with worrying more about girls than boys, I worry about the girls my son is around!!!

OMG, me too. I was always afraid of hurting or dissapointing my parents. My sister on the other hand, couldn't have cared less and seemed to go out of her way to piss them off How do you explain that? Two kids, raised by the same parents...brings up the whole nature vs. nurture argument, yes?

 

[Cantw8]

don't let my thread die without some more imput