Do you think that not taking a vacation is cheating your kids???

[daleswife]

Most people cannt remeber anything pre 8 years old unless it was really bad.

My dd will be 7 in 8 days. she remembers going to disney world for the first time when she was 3. She remembers where she ate for her bday dinner and what she had and who she sat beside and the cake she had. My DS is 3 now and he remembers last years trip like it was yesterday. It dont have to be really bad, it could be really good. I know my son may not remember them later in life, but I will and I will cherish those memories and I would love to make more memories like that first time he saw mickey mouse and he was so excited he couldnt stand still. thats what its all about...

 

[pacrosby]

My dd will be 7 in 8 days. she remembers going to disney world for the first time when she was 3. She remembers where she ate for her bday dinner and what she had and who she sat beside and the cake she had. My DS is 3 now and he remembers last years trip like it was yesterday. It dont have to be really bad, it could be really good. I know my son may not remember them later in life, but I will and I will cherish those memories and I would love to make more memories like that first time he saw mickey mouse and he was so excited he couldnt stand still. thats what its all about...

Actually I'm pretty sure the 'experts' will use 6 yrs of age as the cut-off when kids generally start actually remembering 'events' and not just the 'stories' they have been told. After 6 places and events are more likely to be remembered by children over the long haul if they are not isolated experiences. So for example a kid who goes to Disney every year is much more likely to vividly remember the parks and his/her experiences within the parks years later than if they only went once or twice. That may be the reason why some posters on this thread have said they don't remember their 'once in a lifetime vacation to Disney' when they were a child but do remember mom/dad/grandma playing with them in the yard (or whatever they said LOL).

I don't know. I suppose some could make this an argument for frequent Disney vacations now couldn't they? (responsible, budget-minded vacations of course )

 

[MrsPete]

My dd will be 7 in 8 days. she remembers going to disney world for the first time when she was 3. She remembers where she ate for her bday dinner and what she had and who she sat beside and the cake she had. My DS is 3 now and he remembers last years trip like it was yesterday. It dont have to be really bad, it could be really good. I know my son may not remember them later in life, but I will and I will cherish those memories and I would love to make more memories like that first time he saw mickey mouse and he was so excited he couldnt stand still. thats what its all about...

There's a concept in psychology called "reconstructive memory". It means that you have no genuine memories of a certain event (perhaps because you were too young, perhaps because of a trama -- for example, sometimes people block out memories of an accident), but you "piece together" memories based upon stories you've heard other people tell or photographs you've seen. Reconstructive memories can FEEL real, especially if the person's "gone over them" mentally multiple times, or if they've heard mom and dad tell certain stories over and over again.

Many psychologists believe that people don't have "real memories" from young, young ages because we need language to remember, to label what happened . . . and a small child's language skills are still forming.

Some people have short, fleeting memories of age 3. Most people's first good, solid, real memories, however, begin around 5.

 

[ohlas]

There's a concept in psychology called "reconstructive memory". It means that you have no genuine memories of a certain event (perhaps because you were too young, perhaps because of a trama -- for example, sometimes people block out memories of an accident), but you "piece together" memories based upon stories you've heard other people tell or photographs you've seen. Reconstructive memories can FEEL real, especially if the person's "gone over them" mentally multiple times, or if they've heard mom and dad tell certain stories over and over again.

Many psychologists believe that people don't have "real memories" from young, young ages because we need language to remember, to label what happened . . . and a small child's language skills are still forming.

Some people have short, fleeting memories of age 3. Most people's first good, solid, real memories, however, begin around 5.

ty and said very nicely smarty....

anyway what im trying to say is your children will be just fine if you dont take them on vacation, its not wrong, its more wrong to not spend real time just playing with them, then to never take them on vacation..

whats the earliest thing you can remeber from childhood that wasnt a story told to you????...

 

[ohlas]

My dd will be 7 in 8 days. she remembers going to disney world for the first time when she was 3. She remembers where she ate for her bday dinner and what she had and who she sat beside and the cake she had. My DS is 3 now and he remembers last years trip like it was yesterday. It dont have to be really bad, it could be really good. I know my son may not remember them later in life, but I will and I will cherish those memories and I would love to make more memories like that first time he saw mickey mouse and he was so excited he couldnt stand still. thats what its all about...

yea and my 6 year old remebers 2 years ago when she was 4 and i drove to fla with her, but she never talks about when she was 3.5 and she saw the ocean... for the first time... in va beach, va

im talking about when she is older like our age.. will she really remeber that i played at the beach in fla for a week (vacation) with her and made a big sandcastle that we both fell on unless i tell her that story over and over...

 

[Disney-Kim]

I want to say I really do appreciate all the different points of view in this thread. Its great to see that we can all have a conversation and still get along.

I have noticed in this thread the amount of people who go camping. We use to go camping all the time when I was younger. We still do. DH's parents own a camper and have it at Sherwood Lake in Greenbriar County. Its a little over 2 hours from here. I just dont enjoy camping. I never have. I go cause DH likes it. I hate to fish and I am Not one to swim....dont like water....I like to get away from the house and have some things to do. Camping is like sitting outside my house to me. Nothing to do but sit and do nothing.

This is the reasons I enjoy getting away. I dont have to go somewhere expensive, I just want OUT!!!

I am with you on the getting out thing
I camped a lot with my family when we were kids and never stayed in a hotel until I was an adult. Over the years we have taken many weekend vacations and long vacations but they all have been fun.

I say work the debt down but at the same time save a little towards a weekend with the kids...anything...just a fun time for your family can get away and be together and the kids have the fun memories.

There is no reason you can't work your debt down AND take a little trip or two.
Why does one have to replace the other It may take a little longer but at least you and your kids benefit if you do a little of both. just a little compromise.

 

[daleswife]

Actually I'm pretty sure the 'experts' will use 6 yrs of age as the cut-off when kids generally start actually remembering 'events' and not just the 'stories' they have been told. After 6 places and events are more likely to be remembered by children over the long haul if they are not isolated experiences. So for example a kid who goes to Disney every year is much more likely to vividly remember the parks and his/her experiences within the parks years later than if they only went once or twice. That may be the reason why some posters on this thread have said they don't remember their 'once in a lifetime vacation to Disney' when they were a child but do remember mom/dad/grandma playing with them in the yard (or whatever they said LOL).

I don't know. I suppose some could make this an argument for frequent Disney vacations now couldn't they? (responsible, budget-minded vacations of course )

Ah experts.....experts are more wrong than right....Just saying...

 

[pacrosby]

Ah experts.....experts are more wrong than right....Just saying...

generally I would absolutely agree with you. On this one though, I tend to think they are pretty close..................just in terms of what we remember long term. My 4 yr old remembers many things, details even, that blow my mind but I doubt that years down the line he will still remember them (unless there are pictures and lots of stories that we tell to go along with them). I know I remember very very little before Kindergarten (actually there is only one thing I remember, and it was something that was emotionally traumatic for me)

 

[MG3G]

Forgive me I didn't read the entire thread BUT
I wanted to jump in on a couple things ---
I also have a 7 year old he remembers clearly things from when he was 1. Things I forgot and he will tell me happened which jogs my memory. Will he always remember? Who knows but some kids have exceptional long term memories. Now if I ask him to go put on his shoes I will find him staring at a toy because he "forgot" - LOL

Also I think that your wanting to take your kids on vacation is more to capture the feeling of being able to provide things for them that you didn't have. At least that is what it seems like when you mentioned that you couldn't take trips as a kid. BUT I think by paying off debt you are giving your kids something very valuable you are teaching them about financial planning which will be huge in their future. I get that you can afford to take a trip and pay the truck off later - BUT you are teaching them sacrificies. A good value to learn!

As for a vacation - I do think it is important to spend time together as a family and have that vacation experience together. For me though it isn't about Mickey or Hotel rooms it is about undivided attention, no time schedules, no boss, no teacher - just us having fun. I think for a couple years you can make some AWSOME memories with your kids by doing those simple things like camping, home movie nights, setting up pretend forts in the living room and unplugging all media for the weekend.

Don't feel bad about your decision - stick to it, it will be so worth it!

 

[chisnpeke]

Actually I'm pretty sure the 'experts' will use 6 yrs of age as the cut-off when kids generally start actually remembering 'events' and not just the 'stories' they have been told. After 6 places and events are more likely to be remembered by children over the long haul if they are not isolated experiences. So for example a kid who goes to Disney every year is much more likely to vividly remember the parks and his/her experiences within the parks years later than if they only went once or twice. That may be the reason why some posters on this thread have said they don't remember their 'once in a lifetime vacation to Disney' when they were a child but do remember mom/dad/grandma playing with them in the yard (or whatever they said LOL).

I don't know. I suppose some could make this an argument for frequent Disney vacations now couldn't they? (responsible, budget-minded vacations of course )

While it's true that I have more vivid memories from age 5 on, I do remember years before that. I remember going on an airplane for the first time when I was 2. I also remember bits about San Francisco and going to the ocean, feeding small animals at the beach, from that same trip. My earliest memory is just a flash in my mind really, walking down the driveway when I was one year old. Very very small memory. I remember when my brother was born, I was 21 months old at the time. Not the entire thing but I remember driving in the car with my grandparents and crying about something and my dad gave me a stuffed rabbit.

Just saying I have several memories from before 5/6 years old. I know I must be the exception but I do have those memories.

 

[chisnpeke]

OP, I do not think it is deprivation to not take a vacation. When I was young we had a condo in Gatlinburg we'd go to every year. I loved those trips and they are fond memories of my childhood. I think it's important to create family memories, so whatever you can do to make that happen, it should be done.

As children get older, I do think it is very important to expose them to other ideas, cultures, ways of thinking. There are many ways travel is invaluable for those things. I think not exposing them when they are older would be a deprivation.