Do you think it's morbid

[SillyMe]

when people set up memorials at, and visit, an accident site? A little girl was just killed in our town a few days ago. Freak accident. There are about 50 stuffed animals set up at the site and people are constantly stopping there all day long. I'm just not sure how I feel about it. I'm not sure how I would feel if I were the parents. I understand most people are doing it to show their respect and to let the parents know they are thinking about them and their little girl. Part of me understands that, but part of me feels it's morbid for strangers to be visiting the accident site. I guess if the memorial was set up somewhere other than the accident site I wouldn't feel this way.

 

[highland3]

Now, I think it's a fitting place for a small memorial... as long as it's safe for people to stop there if they want to. This has been done for several police officers in my area who were killed in on-duty traffic collisions.

 

[Beth76]

I don't like the roadside memorials. I think they are distracting at best. And I've never understood why strangers feel the need to go visit these "shrines".

 

[becker1123]

I don't like them either. Death is death. It is always tragic for those left behind. Why is a roadside death more worthy of memorializing than one that takes place in a hospital, or in an ambulance, or even someone's own home? They bring me down when I see them on the roadside. I say by all means remember those who have gone before us, but not in a sad way, and that's all it is to me when I see one. Most passers-by don't even know the victim or what happened. It's just, well, morbid. Go visit the grave site, or make a shrine in your home, not on the side of the road where it can be distracting and saddening to drivers.

 

[dturner]

I don't like the roadside memorials. I think they are distracting at best. And I've never understood why strangers feel the need to go visit these "shrines".

I agree and I see them EVERYWHERE which makes me feel kind of weird. People die every day in automobile accidents, if everyone puts up a memorial each time there eventually will be one on almost every corner.

On my drive to work, which is only 10 miles, there are 5 roadside memorials that I have counted.

 

[va32h]

Have we been sucked into a time warp? Lots of old topics starting up again today.

I don't understand the appeal of a roadside memorial - particularly to people who didn't even know the person who was killed. The flowers and stuffed animals could be donated to a hospital, nursing home, or children's shelter, to bring joy to a living person, rather than getting rained on and filthy in the street.

 

[highland3]

Just to add to what I already said...

I think it is creepy that strangers are stopping at these!

 

[SillyMe]

Have we been sucked into a time warp? Lots of old topics starting up again today.

I don't understand the appeal of a roadside memorial - particularly to people who didn't even know the person who was killed. The flowers and stuffed animals could be donated to a hospital, nursing home, or children's shelter, to bring joy to a living person, rather than getting rained on and filthy in the street.

I didn't know this topic was discussed before. This is just something that I thought alot about today because of what happened to this little girl a few days ago. I had to drive through town (it happened on our main street) and there were people standing there. A picture in the paper showed people standing there. The news showed people standing there. It just felt too morbid to me when I was driving by. It seems wrong to stand and hover over an area where something so tragic happened.

 

[kimmikayb]

oddly enough there was just a article in our newspaper about this....it said "people believe the memorials have a spiritual value and makes you appreciate life even more. It makes you reflect on the fragility of life. It makes you appreciate the people around you."

Having said that, I don't like them either. I also feel some are a distraction to drivers. If it gives people comfort and isn't causing accidents...I won't complain.

 

[robinb]

when people set up memorials at, and visit, an accident site?

Yes. I think it is totally inappropriate, not to mention distracting and dangerous to other drivers. There are better places for a memorial than a roadside.

 

[drgnfly30]

It's creepy but can certainly understand why people feel compelled to do so... My DB died in a motorcycle accident & when we flew out for his funeral we felt the need to at least see the location where he drew his last breath... we didn't leave anything but I've since heard that his friends put a cross up at the site.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I don't get it about roadside memorials either, and I think they're dangerous and distracting. And sometimes they're there for YEARS! There's a place in town where MANY years ago a teenager was killed trying to pass a car on a curved road, and hit an oncoming car. Every so often, the wreath gets replaced...and then that one starts to look like a mess too, and this is on some stranger's property. I would not want to be reminded, day in and day out, that someone got themself killed in front of my house.

 

[nkjzmom]

Some families put them up to remind other drivers to be careful. A young man was killed a few months ago on a road nicknamed Thrill Hill. He and his friends were speeding down it like lots of other teenagers do. His mom is appealing to the city council to change the road in some manner to force people to slow down but decided to put a cross up in the meantime to remind other teenagers of the danger there.

I don't think it's a shrine to him...just a reminder. He was a good kid who did a dumb teenager thing.

 

[Grammyof2]

My best friends daughter was killed in a car crash 8 years ago. She was 20. They erected a memorial at the crash site, and her father actually visits there often. He must find comfort in it.

Personally, I hate it. I do not feel she is there. I have never visited the site. Won't even drive on that road because of the memorial. I think it is a morbid reminder of one of the worst days of my life. There is a nice park bench with a dedication plaque in a local park that I feel is much more appropraite. To each there own, but I hate it.

They actually have limited these sites here because they were becoming a distraction and a hazard.

 

[robinb]

And sometimes they're there for YEARS!

There is one such memorial in downtown Madison. A driver went into a diabetic seizure near the local high school, lost control of her car and killed a small group of high school girls who were jay-walking the busy street. This happened 15 years ago and people are still putting plastic flowers on chain link fence that was put up to stop further jay-walking.

 

[robinb]

His mom is appealing to the city council to change the road in some manner to force people to slow down but decided to put a cross up in the meantime to remind other teenagers of the danger there.

I don't think it's a shrine to him...just a reminder. He was a good kid who did a dumb teenager thing.

Do you really think a dumb teenager is going to think twice about doing something dumb if they see a cross? Teenagers think themselves invincible. It's a shrine alright. Otherwise it wouldn't have been a cross.

 

[Arielle22]

There was one in MA a couple of years ago where it was on private property. The family was mad that the owner had it removed. I wouldn't want a reminder like that on my property.

I don't like or understand the memorials. I always thought that was what graves were for, to mourn your lost ones.

 

[va32h]

SillyMe, I wasn't trying to pick on you for starting the thread. I just noticed a few threads have subjects we've discussed. Maybe I've just been around too long.

Sorry if my tone came off poorly.

 

[SillyMe]

SillyMe, I wasn't trying to pick on you for starting the thread. I just noticed a few threads have subjects we've discussed. Maybe I've just been around too long.

Sorry if my tone came off poorly.

No problem. I didn't think you were sarcastic. I was just explaining why I started the thread.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I don't think they're morbid. People grieve differently. There are bigger things in life to worry about then a roadside memorial someone set up for their dead loved one.