Do you love where you live?

[lattemomof3]

We are in a very small town in the midwest. It does not seem to really be "us", however. Everyone else already has family here, most work for family farms or businesses, and have both sets of grandparents readily available for babysitting. There also seems to be a large "keeping up with the Jones's" mentality about cars, houses, clothes, everything. Dear husband has been very fortunate with his business (appraiser) and believes that we would make much less moving somewhere else. We have kids in school (3rd grade and kinderg.) and 1 at home, so I don't believe moving would traumatize them for life . Do you love your town? Would you move even though you had a good job? I love that my kids go to a small school, but I think moving somewhere a bit larger would enable us to have a larger choice of friends. We have lived here for 7 years, and I do have lots of girlfriends and we know a lot of people in town (pop. 3500), but I don't necessarily have the same values as a lot of them. Am I being really picky?

 

[mommisanchez]

We are here in NJ. Although it is high here, we make higher salaries to pay for housing etc. We have mountains, beach etc..
It is so hard once you get settled. I have a 2nd grader and a 2 year old. We are looking for a home as well, our town is very big so even though she may have to change schools we will still be in district. Relocation is hard, unless you do it with a job. My family has relocated to NC from NJ and they love it there but struggle, my step mom used to make 100,000 here and now cant even get a job at Walmart. You have to weigh all your options. But I will tell you the keeping up with the jones probably is everywhere.
Good luck!

 

[wdwmom0f3]

We moved here to a small town five years ago and I am just now making more friends. The thing that I have found out about small towns is that they are very "clickish" if you know what I mean, and everyone knows everything about everybody. No lie.

I would LOVE to move far away from here and I would never look back. I like living in larger areas where there is more to do and more people to choose from, as far as friends go. Small towns have their advantages but I still like bigger areas better.

 

[disney_family_1247]

I grew up one town over from where we live now. We moved here after college so that our children (we didn't have any at the time) could grow up near their grandparents. Neither of us had that when we were kids. My parents are ready to retire, and they have told us that if we want to move somewhere else, they'll follow to stay near the kids. We are looking all the time for a new job for my husband .

We are in South Louisiana. I just read an article yesterday about how our state is years behind the rest of the country when it comes to racial equality and tolerance . None of our parents were from here, and they passed on their values and social ideas to us. They have never matched up with the people who live around us. I don't know why it's taken me this long, but I now have the strong need to get my children out of here before they get too much older. I want them know what it feels like to have family friends who share our beliefs, rather than feel like you have to hide them all of the time. Just because I survived doesn't make it good for my kids!

Cost of living is low where we are, but money isn't everything .

 

[Katy Belle]

Oh! Your post reminded me of when we moved to Louisiana. I had two little kiddos, ages 2 1/2 and 6 months. They both developed Bronchitis in the first week so I took them to the (one and only) peditrician. I was the ONLY Mom in the waiting room without my MOM or Granny or Sister waiting with me! I was tempted to hand one of my coughing kiddos to one of the idle family memebers sitting about!

Anyway...it took me a while to get used to living there. It was a tiny town. I did make some life-long friends in the end. I knew we would be moving on in a few years, so I didn't have to face your decision.

If you've been there 7 years and are feeling this way...yeah, time to go. You're right, your kids will survive. If your DH is in agreement and can find a good job, I'd go for it!

Katy

 

[DawnM]

We have lived here for over 3 years now. It isn't working. I am ready to move back to CA. And yes, I LOVE some places. I could move back to LA, and I could probably live in San Fran, San Diego, or Seattle pretty easily. I have friends in each place too which would help. NC is not "me."

Dawn

 

[Where'sPiglet?]

This thread touched a nerve with me.

I have been struggling with this for a few months. I do not love where I live. I am 27 and yet cannot imagine trying to raise children here in the Bronx. If you don't have a car, you have to carry your stroller up and down stairs to get on the train. The schools are, well...I'm a teacher and I don't think I'd want my kid to be around some of the kids I see at work. The teachers are not the problem - it's (some of) the other children.

The housing here is ehhh. My apartment by NYC standards is both quite "large" and "cheap". You cannot control your heat - it comes on when it comes on and goes off when it goes off. It's central to the building. I have peeling paint on the ceilings and the floor is warped, uneven, and has holes in places. This is not a place I want to raise a child - or, for that matter, live here much longer myself.

I am a teacher and teacher salaries here are good; but the trade off is the cost of living and the work environment. My DH is not working at this time. I look at houses - you know, REAL HOUSES with a yard and a WASHER and DRYER and they seem so far out of reach in terms of cost that it's depressing. DH and I are talking about moving in 2010 (gives us some time to save up) but we do not know where to go. Every place we consider has it's pros and cons and I don't want to move somewhere and still be dealing with the same issues as here. Additionally, in this economy I don't want to be the low man on the totem pole.

I do have a few good friends in southern Louisiana and I would consider giving it a try but my mind cannot get past the hurricane issue (among a few other things, mentioned above in PP). So then my friend suggests Florida. They get hurricanes too AND I don't know anybody there!

*sigh*
Yeah...that was way more than I meant to say, but like I said...you touched a nerve with this and it is something I'm really struggling with.

 

[denisenh]

Come to New England! Its nice here! We have it all! Mountains, coast, great hospitals and schools.

 

[FLmomof2]

We moved here over a year ago and are originally from MA. We LOVE it here. People are so friendly, lots of really nice parks for the kids. The mountains are here, the beach is a little far...., downtown is cool and always has something going on.

We lived in FL for 1 1/2 years and we new pretty much right away it wasn't for us. Sometimes you know when its not right and you have to make a change.

Good luck if you decide to move!

**I hear AZ is really nice too!

 

[holden]

We absolutely LOVE our neighborhood. We have wonderful neighbors of varying ethnicities/cultures. We have a great plot of land with woods in the back. We have the perfect size house for us. This is where we were meant to be.

Another thing we love about living here is that even though our neighborhood is quiet, we are close to everything - malls, gas stations, stores, and tons of great restaurants. We are also only about 35 min. from the city of Philadelphia where we can take advantage of the nation's first zoo and many museums. The airport is about the same distance away.

We can't imagine living anywhere else!

 

[donac]

I have made some of my best friends here in my small town in Central JErsey by getting involved in my kids activities. I have two really close friend whose sons were scouts with my sons. One of the families have gotten very close to us so much so that we have been to DW with them twice. My family lives 45 minutes to an hour away. When I got sick in October one of these families sent flowers and the other brought enough food for me for a long weekend. Be open to new people you never know.

 

[Shmily1]

My family lives in the same small town I was born in--and I'm 40!! I've actually never lived anywhere else and can only imagine moving if I'm moving to live really close to WDW. DS18 and DD17 attend (ed) the same high the same high school I graduated from. DS18 now goes to college about 75 minutes away, which is a great university. It is only cold (around 20-30 F) about 3 times a year, we live about 40 minutes from the beach, and about 35 minutes to the nearest big mall. I'm 4 hours from WDW. We are 25 minutes from the nearest military base which means we have pretty good chain restaurants not too far.

This is a smaller town, but we did get a Walmart Supercenter about 8 years ago so we are doing good here!!! You can move on down here... we have lots of southern hospitality!!! Oh, and Paula Deen's restaurant is about an hour and a half away!!

 

[vsimeone]

Even though I've lived here all my life, I actually love N.E. Ohio. The cost of living is low (but that means low salaries too) and we are central to so many places. It is 50 minutes to Cleveland, 2 hours to Columbus and if I REALLY want big city - it's 6 hours to visit my brother in D.C. and 6 hours (or 1 hour on the plane) to Chicago.

I love the small town feel of the area but I love having easy access when I need a touch of big city!

Best of luck on your search for a "home!"

 

[jessily]

We absolutely LOVE our neighborhood. We have wonderful neighbors of varying ethnicities/cultures. We have a great plot of land with woods in the back. We have the perfect size house for us. This is where we were meant to be.

Another thing we love about living here is that even though our neighborhood is quiet, we are close to everything - malls, gas stations, stores, and tons of great restaurants. We are also only about 35 min. from the city of Philadelphia where we can take advantage of the nation's first zoo and many museums. The airport is about the same distance away.

We can't imagine living anywhere else!

Montgomery County neighbor here! I have to agree with everything you said. I lived in Philly for 5 years and miss it a lot, but it is close enough that I can go back several times a week. Though I hope to move back someday, I could not be happier with living on the outskirts of King of Prussia. Doesn't hurt having Valley Forge Park in you backyard either

 

[Doodlebug939]

It is interesting to read a lot of the posts. I am a military wife and we have lived in many places over the last 15 years. I have lived in Montgomery County PA and met life long friends there. I grew up in North East Ohio in a town called Painesville. In addition we lived many years in New England (loved the trips to Boston).

And now we live in Louisiana. I think I have many of you covered as a been there and done that. I have to say that New Orleans people do live very closely with there families. Grandparents are at school functions just as much as parents.

My husband and I are considering moving to Pittsburgh this summer. As for the children-they are always up for a new adventure. We involve them in activities so that they can meet new friends and really in our last 4 moves they have done great. (They miss the snow) And as for me I seem to always make friends. I put myself out there and seek people. I dont know if a move is right for you but your children will be fine if your make it an adventure. Best of Luck

 

[nikkers]

What a great question. We moved about 5 years ago, when we decided to start a family. We live about 30 minutes outside St. Paul, MN. In a great town. Population about 11,000. It is not too big, but not too small. We love our community. The best thing is it feels like a community. It definately feels like 'us'. Our cost of living is not low. There is definately the keeping up with the Jones'. But that is going to be anywhere you go. My husband and I are happy with what we have, and don't need to keep up with anyone.
I grew up in a small town about 2,000 people in northern Minnesota. I would never want to live there. I hated growing up there. So, I completely understand how you feel. My family was from the area. Very clicky, and judgemental to outsiders. Ugh! Good luck in you decision. I think it is important to love where you live.

 

[nunzia]

We've lived in big cities and small, but really raised our kids in our town of about 36,000. New Mexico is OK overall as is Alamogordo, great weather, mountains about 20 minutes away, the White Sands the same. Not many shopping options (which can be a good thing) but not very far to Las Cruces, El Paso or even Albuquerque.
We are a military/retiree town (ex mililtary) and we have a German wing stationed here, used to have the Stealth, but now have the F-22 and Predator coming, so a fairly low, but stable, income base. (unless they really cut the military and close Holloman) I have actually grown to appreciate the life here (used to H A T E) it. New Mexico falls low in many areas on national averages, but overall, this is a good place to live. It used to be dirt cheap for housing, but since the Germans came that has changed, so that is a problem, since most jobs are low paying.
But it's a fairly decent community. Big crimes are usally graffitti and car break ins.

 

[Ellen aka Snow White]

Born and raised here! Love it!
Great People - Great Places

Ellen

 

[Soulsearching]

We are in a very small town in the midwest. It does not seem to really be "us", however. Everyone else already has family here, most work for family farms or businesses, and have both sets of grandparents readily available for babysitting. There also seems to be a large "keeping up with the Jones's" mentality about cars, houses, clothes, everything. Dear husband has been very fortunate with his business (appraiser) and believes that we would make much less moving somewhere else. We have kids in school (3rd grade and kinderg.) and 1 at home, so I don't believe moving would traumatize them for life . Do you love your town? Would you move even though you had a good job? I love that my kids go to a small school, but I think moving somewhere a bit larger would enable us to have a larger choice of friends. We have lived here for 7 years, and I do have lots of girlfriends and we know a lot of people in town (pop. 3500), but I don't necessarily have the same values as a lot of them. Am I being really picky?

Honestly, it is what you make of it. Who you choose to be friends with and how much time you put into the friends who have the same values as you. They are out there, they may be in your town or a town over, but they are out there. Join groups. Invite and call.

Your husband believes he will not make the same elsewhere. He is probably right. Unless he loses his job. Do not move. Life could become miserable if you moved and then he lost his job. I know people this has happened to.

Make it your mission to make friends. Reach out. Seek out people who are new to the area. Ask if there is a newcomers group you can join and tell them you still feel like a newcomer. Start a newcomers group in your town. Be the one to bring them together and to talk.

Sometimes it just takes time. Sometimes we need to be the one to start having people over. Sometimes we need to start are own group.

Have a bunch of women over that you think you could be friends with every other week for a Friday night at your house for Bunco (dice game), a glass of wine, watch a chic flick together and just hang, etc. you get my point.

Sometimes, no matter where we move it will always be up to the individual to seek out friends with the same values.

 

[4Seasons]

Do I like where I live? Heck no. High cost of living (about 45 minutes outside Washington, DC) among other things I don't like.
What keeps us here? Family. Both my and my husbands parents are getting older and I feel if we were to move we'd end up having to move back within a few years. Plus my husband now has a pretty decent job with a Navy contractor and I'd be worried he couldn't get something with equal pay and benefits if we were to relocate.

I'd love to move to South Carolina. We vacation there almost every summer (Hilton Head area) and we just love it down there. The people are SO friendly and it's just so nice down there (heat aside). I'm not so crazy about the people in our current area, so many people have that "entitlement" mindset. It's so refreshing to travel down south and be able to get away from that, and one day I'd love to do so permanently. But for now it's just a dream.....