Do You Dwell on the Past?

DisneyOma

DIS Veteran
Joined
Jul 27, 2015
While I don't dwell on it, I do remember it and it influences my decisions that I make now. Husband seems to forget the past and not use any of the knowledge gained in any decision making processes.
 
  • DLgal

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 12, 2013
    Not at all. I have a pretty bad memory, so I just don't remember a lot of the past. I think this is a healthy way to live.

    My mother COMPLETELY dwells on the past and it is so annoying and all consuming for her. She never lets anything go. She is constantly depressed, angry, and resentful.
     
  • VandVsmama

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 28, 2011
    No. I try my best to learn from my mistakes and then move on. Rehashing the past is a great way to end up depressed and miserable and angry at the world.
     
  • kimblebee

    now my thoughts will be worth 5 cents
    Joined
    May 28, 2009
    I don’t, but my husband does all the time. I wish there was a magic button I could push to erase all his bad memories but they’re in there deep.
     

    lovin'fl

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jun 7, 2011
    Yep, I do. Play things over and over in my mind. Causes anxiety and lack of sleep. Wish I could just...let it go, let it go...
     

    DisneyOma

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 27, 2015
    Not at all. I have a pretty bad memory, so I just don't remember a lot of the past. I think this is a healthy way to live.

    My mother COMPLETELY dwells on the past and it is so annoying and all consuming for her. She never lets anything go. She is constantly depressed, angry, and resentful.
    I don't think having a pretty bad memory is all that healthy, actually? My MIL is suffering from her loss of memory capabilities. We are getting her tested for all kinds of serious issues.
     

    VandVsmama

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 28, 2011
    No. I try my best to learn from my mistakes and then move on. Rehashing the past is a great way to end up depressed and miserable and angry at the world.
    Just wanted to clarify what I said earlier...
    I know some people who tend to dwell on stuff that happened 40+ years ago. As in, they bring it up a LOT. It's usually something that they're angry about, feel they've been wronged, and the person who they feel wronged them has been dead and gone a really long time. And it's over stuff that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. I'm not talking horrible stuff here. Just petty stuff.

    The horrible stuff? Go get help from a therapist and mentally process it and emotionally deal with it and then use it towards something good in your life.

    But the petty stuff? Get over it. Don't dwell on it. Otherwise, it will eat into your soul and turn you into a mean, grumpy, cranky old fart.
     

    DLgal

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 12, 2013
    I don't think having a pretty bad memory is all that healthy, actually? My MIL is suffering from her loss of memory capabilities. We are getting her tested for all kinds of serious issues.
    I've always been like this. I am only 41. It's not a neurological issue. I just tend to be surrounded by people who have HYPER DETAILED memories. Like, my mom is 70 and can remember actual conversations, in detail, from her childhood. That's bizarre to me. My husband is borderline autistic and he can remember every one of our dates when we were dating, what I wore, where we went, what we ate, etc. That is not normal. My son has Pi memorized out to like 500 digits. He did that when he was 9.

    Meanwhile, I flunked out of college chemistry classes because I couldn't memorize all the formulas well enough to pass tests. My memory for that kind of thing is terrible, but on the other hand, my specialty is "useless facts" and I have literally thousands of things memorized. I'm really good at Jeopardy. I also gave a great memory for things I read. But when I HAVE to memorize things, I can't.

    I have been slighted by people, had fallouts with friends, been in fights with people, etc, but I don't recall all those details. I am not a super emotional/social person so maybe I just don't put too much emphasis on those memories?

    I have no short term memory issues and successfully run a household with 2 autistic teenage boys and am able to keep schedules and appointments and "to dos" straight in my head. I'm not worried about my health.

    Although, I do suffer from migraine and have read a few articles linking migraine to memory problems, so that could be a factor. I have had migraine since I was 5 years old.
     

    DLgal

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 12, 2013
    Just wanted to clarify what I said earlier...
    I know some people who tend to dwell on stuff that happened 40+ years ago. As in, they bring it up a LOT. It's usually something that they're angry about, feel they've been wronged, and the person who they feel wronged them has been dead and gone a really long time. And it's over stuff that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. I'm not talking horrible stuff here. Just petty stuff.

    The horrible stuff? Go get help from a therapist and mentally process it and emotionally deal with it and then use it towards something good in your life.

    But the petty stuff? Get over it. Don't dwell on it. Otherwise, it will eat into your soul and turn you into a mean, grumpy, cranky old fart.
    This is my mother. 100%. She is STILL going on an on about relatives who have wronged her that have been DEAD for years. What is the point of that? My gosh. Let it go already.

    She is completely miserable, but won't do anything to better her own mental health.
     


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