Do you bring things to occupy your kids while in line?

[Maggie'sMom]

Actually, I am a parent of two children, both with some disabilities (no IEP, although we could have gotten them) and I stand by what I have posted. Oldest daughter, with sensory issues, is a junior at MIT. We have been through quite a lot to be at that point. A lot of it had to do with keeping from relying on avoidance techniques. She learned to deal with her issues, even standing in line at WDW. I have asked her at WDW if she wanted to stay in line and deal, or get out of the line.

Behavior issues are all about communication - you've got to give the kids the tools to communicate what is going on. Sensory overload happens when the child can't feel the building stress of trying to process a lot of information.

Think of it as carrying around a bucket that we put our info, stress, and worries into. When it gets heavy, we stop, slow down, maybe empty some of it out, maybe shift it to the other hand. People with sensory/processing/social issues can't feel the bucket getting heavier. They don't feel it until the bucket is full, and the next thing they put in it spills out, and you have a shutdown, or a tantrum, meltdown, some kind of release for all that weight.

The trick is to get them to feel the weight of the bucket before it is full. It takes time, dedication, and some creativity. I remember my daughter having issues in 5th grade, with one teacher. He was very energetic, she fed off that energy, and he could see her bucket filling up, but didn't know what to do. I gave him our cue - tell her to "get off the escalator". That made her stop and think about what was getting her all worked up. She had a cue, and we had worked on skills to empty the bucket.

Now, a 3 yr old with sensory issues - vocabulary is limited, understanding is limited, but they know how they feel. If a few minutes in a stroller with a distraction helps the child to empty out the bucket, great. If the bucket isn't getting emptied though, then you are just using an avoidance technique, and the child is not learning how to process and let go. The bucket will still fill up, and you'll just get the meltdown later (unless the kid is on the electronics all day).

And yes, this is my opinion, but it is based on experience.

And overall, I agree with you. I just couldn't (and still can't) understand why you were responding to my post regarding my disagreement that a post that implied all problems with every kid could be solved simply by applying a consequence once or twice with a statement that parents aren't even willing to try and a missive about the evils of electronics.

Kids are better off not having their noses stuck in electronics all day long everyday. My DD has to earn the privilege to use electronic devices (DS, computer, and TV) through demonstrating good behavior everyday, and even then I limit her use to short periods of time. But again, I believe that parenting issues are complex, and you can't judge a parent based on whether they let their child play a DS in line at WDW. We will take my DD's DS to WDW, for use during the plane ride. The rest of the time it will be put away. We will take a portable DVD player, also for the plane ride but also to watch Disney movies together when we take a break from the parks. But if past trips are indicitive, it will get very little use because we are seldom in our room except to sleep. This is our first trip where I have a smartphone. We will likely be using that in line... to check out Lines and Mobile Magic and discuss where we are headed for our next ride or whether we can pick up a fastpass.

 

[sbeaulieu]

I can barely wait in a 5 minute line before whipping out the iphone. I have no patience.. So, I'm going to bring the leap pad's for certain situations for my 6 and 3yo. I have no problem breaking those things out when the lines are long and the whininess starts. I don't do this on a daily basis. They only play on long car rides or waiting at the doctor's...things like that. Crabby behavior is never rewarded with video games in regular circumstances....but when I go on vacation I want peace. If that means letting them play with their leap pad's in long lines, then that is what I will do.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

The contents of a Psych 101 textbook and real life situations are two very different animals.

Not on The Dis.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

Not if you're not even willing to try, of course. Also, in this wide, varying world, all children have to learn that all their needs are not going to be met instantaneously. Otherwise they grow up into selfish, useless adults.

So, in order to 'keep the peace' children are plugged into electronics and other forms of entertainment, instead of using their own brains, imagination, and creativity for 20 minutes. When do they ever learn to just cope with a 20 minute wait? If you can't handle 20 minutes at WDW, how do you handle 20 minutes anywhere else in life?

I couldnt agree more. We have books on our iPad and iphones and I'm ok with dd playing or using those when we are in a long line here at home but at Disney there's too much to connect with. Dd could care less to hold anything electronic when at WDW. I want to keep her that way. Connect to the world not electronics.

 

[Kdutton]

Being the mom of a 4 year old son with ADHD, ODD, and Sensory disorder. I know impatience all too well, and I will be bringing his leappad regardless of what other parents think. I say whatever keeps less drama from the trip. If bringing a toy means no major outburts for the trip then bring it. It's better than a ruined vacation.

 

[CdnCarrie]

My phone (android) has games on it. They play with that.

 

[MegaDisney]

Nope, no gadgets for our 9,7 and 5 year-olds. Never have, never will. My kids are just so thrilled to go to Disney- the thought of them standing in line with their head buried in some electronic gadget is enough to make me twitch. Truthfully, I don't think they even know that is an option, and even if they did, they would never ask to do a computer game at Disney.

And if my kids were behaving in such a way in line that they were disturbing others and annoying me, we would simply remove them from the line. Period. They know that their father and I mean business when it comes to good behavior. The reason they know this is because we have made it clear that we will not tolerate rudeness and acting up in public. And because we have been so consistent with these expectations, guess what? They behave in public. Without us having to remind them every 3 seconds. We put in the time and effort when they were younger, and now we are benefiting from that time and effort.

Trust me- my kids weren't born perfect angels- it took a lot of work from DH and I to get where we are today. And unfortunately, there are a lot of parents out there who just don't want to do that work. I know that will get me flamed from some people, but it's the truth. Of course it's a lot easier to quiet your kid by letting him do games when they act up, but are you actually teaching them anything about how to behave properly? (NOT talking about SN kids here).

Just my 2 cents....

 

[Mirax]

Let's face it after waiting 90 minutes for Peter Pan in the heat I don't care how well behaved your kids are they are going to be board to tears. Then add the behavior of everyone around you(parents and children) and you are sitting on a time bomb.

As I have said before, we bring little tablets of paper and a pencil, (we also use the autograph books) we play paper games like hangman, or just write and draw pictures. It's cheap, no worries if they get lost, stolen or broken. We can easily draw others in line to play along, this way our children get to meet other people from not only the US but around the world.

We are at Disney World, not church, I don't expect my kids to stand like little soldeirs for long periods of time. I do expect them to respect others and not distract them with whinning, pulling on the ropes or sitting on the gates and I will not tolerate foottag(someone will get hurt).

The notebooks are simple they work for our family, we get lots of laughs out of them in the lines and at home after our trip.

If the notebooks don't work I hope you find something that is just a entertaining and positive as I have.

 

[marmalade]

I wish you peace and healing. I was Behaviorist in my younger years. However, I should not have to state that fact in order to discuss bored kids in line at Disney. I know you're hurting. Prayers for strength. I'm sorry this discussion upset you. I hope you are able to find time for self care.

My phone (android) has games on it. They play with that.

Only on the Dis will you read posts like this regarding a topic on the same page. One, an answer and one, prayers for self care, peace and healing.