Do you bring things to occupy your kids while in line?

[disneymomjcs]

I second the bubbles for outside waiting. Not that kids can't wait in line and entertain themselves. Sometimes the waits for Toy Store are well over an hour.....Maps are a great distraction. Tell the kids, Lets plan out where we should go next....where we should eat. Great learning experience too. When DD was four years old. She loved the maps and looked at them all the time.

 

[monorailsilver]

Nothing. They can people watch like me or if I have a snack in my bag I will let them have some of it.

 

[smile5sunshine]

This will be my family's first trip down to the world, but at other theme parks we have had success with bringing a deck of cards. it's small, light weight, and you can play a variety of games with it (war, go fish, crazy 8's, just to name a few). Mom or dad acts as the table (holding played cards or the extra) and everyone keeps their own cards in their pockets. So long as you remember who's turn it is, you can keep the same game going throughout several lines (pocket your cards to get on the ride, pull them back out when you are in another queue).

So we will bring a deck of cards and then use other games (I spy, 20 Questions and hidden Mickey hunts).

Sunshine

 

[davmill]

Nope, leave the electronics at home. I tell them they can bring a paperback to read while waiting if they want something to do.

 

[luvmy2babies]

We generally just talk in line. My daughter was 7 on her first trip and 8 when we went to Sea World and MK on another trip. We talk about what we just did and what we will do next. She might take my camera and look at some pictures I have taken that day. She also likes to look at the map and plan.

My son is another story. With him though I can take out my phone and take some pictures (no flash) and that combined with looking around for Mickey signs (he’s obsessed) they are both okay. We were only in one really long line. We had made an agreement we would not do any really long lines on that trip. However, we were in Morocco in Epcot in line for Jasmine and Aladdin when they went on break. Last princess to meet. Last chance to meet them as we were done with MK so we waited it out. She made friends with another girl and they talked for 45 minutes.

Now, waiting for a parade I do plan to have entertainment on hand. But not her DS. I’m too afraid of something happening to it. I’ll be packing glow sticks, glow in the dark stickers and have a couple of little toys and snacks for that.

 

[Rylee]

We TALK to each other in line.

We talk about the attraction we are waiting for, the ride we just came off, what we are going to order for dinner, our plans for tomorrow, anything and everything.

Sometimes we play the alphabet game,
"I'm going to Disney and I'm going to see...
Aladdin
Buzz
Cinderella..."
We also look for hidden Mickeys.

If the kids start getting on each other's nerves, we stagger them, kid, parent, kid parent.

Our kids know if they want to experience an attraction, they have to wait in line. They have always been good travelers, but of course, they're not perfect. However, they do understand... they are not allowed to make their problem, everyone's problem.

I don't want to compete with a bunch of electronics for their attention.

That said, that's me, that's us. You should do whatever works for your family.

 

[Schmeck]

Wow! I really wish I lived in your world where everything was so incredibly simple. In my world, there's a wide variety of children with varying needs. And what may work with one child may never work with another.

Not if you're not even willing to try, of course. Also, in this wide, varying world, all children have to learn that all their needs are not going to be met instantaneously. Otherwise they grow up into selfish, useless adults.

So, in order to 'keep the peace' children are plugged into electronics and other forms of entertainment, instead of using their own brains, imagination, and creativity for 20 minutes. When do they ever learn to just cope with a 20 minute wait? If you can't handle 20 minutes at WDW, how do you handle 20 minutes anywhere else in life?

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Not if you're not even willing to try, of course. Also, in this wide, varying world, all children have to learn that all their needs are not going to be met instantaneously. Otherwise they grow up into selfish, useless adults.

So, in order to 'keep the peace' children are plugged into electronics and other forms of entertainment, instead of using their own brains, imagination, and creativity for 20 minutes. When do they ever learn to just cope with a 20 minute wait? If you can't handle 20 minutes at WDW, how do you handle 20 minutes anywhere else in life?

Well, I myself don't let my child use electronics while in line, but that doesn't mean it isn't appropriate for other children. My comment wasn't even directly related to the issues of electronics. It was in response to a post which said "If a child is causing an issue in a line, leave and the child will learn after once or twice" and a followup response which said that would work for every parenting issue.

I'm coming from a viewpoint of being a parent of a special needs child. When she was a baby, then a toddler, and finally a preschooler, we struggled with a huge variety of issues. Behavior, sleeping, eating, just about every aspect of her life. Over and over, people kept telling me "just do xyz and after a couple times, she'll learn." Except she didn't. Not after 2 times, not after 10 times, not after 100 times. I was beyond frustrated, confused, and feeling like a failure. And DD wasn't progressing like she should. I finally consulted with a child psychologist who helped us identify the problem and start treatment. It didn't matter if I imposed consequences a million times, DD wasn't in a place where she could ever respond correctly because there were physical and biochemical barriers that needed to be addressed.

So no, imposing a consequence once or twice and the child will learn is not the answer to every parenting situation. Some children have different needs. And a flip answer that this would work in every situation is wrong.

 

[miami305]

Oh, for the love of...

You're comparing apples and oranges. It is like someone saying "Walk inside to get out of the rain" and you're chiming in that "Some people can't walk."

One of the principle tenets of Behavioral Psychology is that our behavior changes based upon the consequence we receive for our actions. Rewarding a child (any child) for inappropriate behavior will encourage that behavior and INCREASE the likelihood of that behavior reoccurring in the future. An effective course of action rewards appropriate behavior and punishes (removes rewards) inappropriate behavior.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Oh, for the love of...

You're comparing apples and oranges. It is like someone saying "Walk inside to get out of the rain" and you're chiming in that "Some people can't walk."

One of the principle tenets of Behavioral Psychology is that our behavior changes based upon the consequence we receive for our actions. Rewarding a child (any child) for inappropriate behavior will encourage that behavior and INCREASE the likelihood of that behavior reoccurring in the future. An effective course of action rewards appropriate behavior and punishes (removes rewards) inappropriate behavior.

Talk about comparing apples and oranges. I never said that there shouldn't be consequences for actions or that bad behavior should be rewarded. What I did say was that there are children with varied needs and what works for one child may not work for another. Have you ever parented a special needs child? Judging from your response, the answer is a big fat no. What you wrote above works well for neurotypical kids. But what about when you have a kid that doesn't fit that mold? And guess what? There are kids out there where systems of rewards and punishments don't change behavior because the behavior is impacted by other factors.

You know what is something that is repeated over and over. A child will eat when they are hungry enough. But as a toddler, there was a point where my DD would only eat Cheerios and green beans. Unfortunately I followed the advice of her pediatrician who in response to my concerns about her lack of eating, and lack of weight gain, told me to put food in front of her for 15 minutes. If she didn't eat it, remove it and wait until the next meal time. Eventually she would get hungry and eat. Guess what? I did that for three weeks and had a child that would eat a spoonful or two of Cheerios in the morning and would eat green beans whenever I offered them. She wouldn't eat anything else. She was losing weight she didn't have to lose. There were days when her only caloric intake was 3 glasses of milk. I was instructed to limit her milk intake to encourage her to eat. I called her pediatrician desperate and was told to stay the course. My DD was starving herself in front of me. I switched pediatricians and started doing research on what might cause my DD to have such a severely limited appetite. Turns out she has major sensory issues that impacted her eating. She finally at age 8 has a reasonably varied diet thanks for intense work on my part with the help of an occupational therapist.

Until you've seen it happen, it doesn't make any sense that a child would willingly go without food for days rather than eat what is in front of her. But it happens. It happened to me. So I stand by what I wrote. Every child is different and will have different needs. What works for one won't work for another. Each parent needs to make a decision that is best for their family.

 

[Scurvy]

I've always had good luck with I-Spy type games, as well as just talking about the trip and enjoying the theming of the lines. Hidden Mickeys are also fun to look for and there are websites, books and apps to help you know where to look.

For children who are old enough, inexpensive digital cameras are great. Kids can spend lots of time choosing things to take pictures of or scrolling through the ones they've already taken.

Electronics like ipods or a DS can also be helpful if you get stuck in an extremely long line but frankly if you make good use of your time (and Fastpass) you can avoid the really long ones. Yes obviously it's a problem if your kid is plugged in all day every day. But electronics have their place and it's up to each parent to decide when and how much they are willing to let their child use things like that. If letting your child use a DS in an hour long line on vacation leads to your kid texting every second and ignoring you completely, the DS wasn't the problem.

I asked a question about this a while back and it turned into a huge fight. Anywho, what I learned (besides how hateful some folks are on the internet) was that there are a lot of people who are allergic to bubbles.

Also, the bubbles tend to pop on other peoples camera lenses and glasses, and can be difficult to clean off. No one wants their pictures to be blurry because of bubble residue and everyone who wears glasses would like to be able to see clearly without having to get out of line to wash their glasses. Plus apparently some types of bubble solutions can leave oily stains on some kinds of fabric. The people around you in line are a captive audience. They can't easily avoid the bubbles that someone else in line is blowing, and the person blowing them can not entirely control where they happen to float.

So please, be considerate and save bubble use (and spray sunscreen, and anything else that is likely to get on the people around you) for larger open areas where the people around you are not forced to give up their place in line if they want to avoid you.

 

[Wadecool]

One of the principle tenets of Behavioral Psychology is that our behavior changes based upon the consequence we receive for our actions. Rewarding a child (any child) for inappropriate behavior will encourage that behavior and INCREASE the likelihood of that behavior reoccurring in the future. An effective course of action rewards appropriate behavior and punishes (removes rewards) inappropriate behavior.

The contents of a Psych 101 textbook and real life situations are two very different animals.

 

[Schmeck]

Well, I myself don't let my child use electronics while in line, but that doesn't mean it isn't appropriate for other children. My comment wasn't even directly related to the issues of electronics. It was in response to a post which said "If a child is causing an issue in a line, leave and the child will learn after once or twice" and a followup response which said that would work for every parenting issue.

I'm coming from a viewpoint of being a parent of a special needs child. When she was a baby, then a toddler, and finally a preschooler, we struggled with a huge variety of issues. Behavior, sleeping, eating, just about every aspect of her life. Over and over, people kept telling me "just do xyz and after a couple times, she'll learn." Except she didn't. Not after 2 times, not after 10 times, not after 100 times. I was beyond frustrated, confused, and feeling like a failure. And DD wasn't progressing like she should. I finally consulted with a child psychologist who helped us identify the problem and start treatment. It didn't matter if I imposed consequences a million times, DD wasn't in a place where she could ever respond correctly because there were physical and biochemical barriers that needed to be addressed.

So no, imposing a consequence once or twice and the child will learn is not the answer to every parenting situation. Some children have different needs. And a flip answer that this would work in every situation is wrong.

I've worked with special needs students for over a decade. I also know that the brain gets wired for certain functions at a very young age, and using electronics with short, stimulating segments does not encourage the brain to make longterm storage connections. Studies have shown inconclusive evidence linking ADHD, sensory issues, and behavioral issues to tv, computer and handheld games, but I have seen kids with the above issues play on their Nintendo DS for a half hour lunch period. Those same kids can't cope for 30 minutes in class. I have seen kids fiddle with technology for half a class, and get no substantial work done. Getting them to do a web page or powerpoint is torture - they want to play with the settings, but don't want to put in any research, planning, or content. These are the same kids that get so absorbed in their texting, games, and phone chat that they totally miss what is going on around them.

BTW, we had a local girl killed by a car because she was too busy texting, not looking where she was going, and went out into the street. We are too used to instant gratification that we are getting ourselves killed. We let the world go by without noticing the fine details of life, like the awesome queues and the interesting people at WDW.

 

[maxiesmom]

The contents of a Psych 101 textbook and real life situations are two very different animals.

But some parents don't even try with their kids. They just go "Here is your Ipod-3DS-whatever." People are too quick to placate their kids and don't want to be bothered to suffer thru the learning how to handle things phase.

Learning how to handle waiting without something to occupy yourself is a learned skill, and a necessary one.

 

[Wadecool]

But some parents don't even try with their kids. They just go "Here is your Ipod-3DS-whatever." People are too quick to placate their kids and don't want to be bothered to suffer thru the learning how to handle things phase.

Learning how to handle waiting without something to occupy yourself is a learned skill, and a necessary one.

I can agree with that. I believe there's a happy medium somewhere in between "placate at all costs" and "Sir, Yes Sir! Drill Instructor mode". I am attempting to find that happy medium with DD4 but it is still a learning process. Hopefully, I figure it out before her teen years.

 

[miami305]

Talk about comparing apples and oranges. I never said that there shouldn't be consequences for actions or that bad behavior should be rewarded. What I did say was that there are children with varied needs and what works for one child may not work for another. Have you ever parented a special needs child? Judging from your response, the answer is a big fat no. What you wrote above works well for neurotypical kids. But what about when you have a kid that doesn't fit that mold? And guess what? There are kids out there where systems of rewards and punishments don't change behavior because the behavior is impacted by other factors.

You know what is something that is repeated over and over. A child will eat when they are hungry enough. But as a toddler, there was a point where my DD would only eat Cheerios and green beans. Unfortunately I followed the advice of her pediatrician who in response to my concerns about her lack of eating, and lack of weight gain, told me to put food in front of her for 15 minutes. If she didn't eat it, remove it and wait until the next meal time. Eventually she would get hungry and eat. Guess what? I did that for three weeks and had a child that would eat a spoonful or two of Cheerios in the morning and would eat green beans whenever I offered them. She wouldn't eat anything else. She was losing weight she didn't have to lose. There were days when her only caloric intake was 3 glasses of milk. I was instructed to limit her milk intake to encourage her to eat. I called her pediatrician desperate and was told to stay the course. My DD was starving herself in front of me. I switched pediatricians and started doing research on what might cause my DD to have such a severely limited appetite. Turns out she has major sensory issues that impacted her eating. She finally at age 8 has a reasonably varied diet thanks for intense work on my part with the help of an occupational therapist.

Until you've seen it happen, it doesn't make any sense that a child would willingly go without food for days rather than eat what is in front of her. But it happens. It happened to me. So I stand by what I wrote. Every child is different and will have different needs. What works for one won't work for another. Each parent needs to make a decision that is best for their family.

I wish you peace and healing. I was Behaviorist in my younger years. However, I should not have to state that fact in order to discuss bored kids in line at Disney. I know you're hurting. Prayers for strength. I'm sorry this discussion upset you. I hope you are able to find time for self care.

 

[ireland_nicole]

I've worked with special needs students for over a decade. I also know that the brain gets wired for certain functions at a very young age, and using electronics with short, stimulating segments does not encourage the brain to make longterm storage connections. Studies have shown inconclusive evidence linking ADHD, sensory issues, and behavioral issues to tv, computer and handheld games, but I have seen kids with the above issues play on their Nintendo DS for a half hour lunch period. Those same kids can't cope for 30 minutes in class. I have seen kids fiddle with technology for half a class, and get no substantial work done. Getting them to do a web page or powerpoint is torture - they want to play with the settings, but don't want to put in any research, planning, or content. These are the same kids that get so absorbed in their texting, games, and phone chat that they totally miss what is going on around them.

BTW, we had a local girl killed by a car because she was too busy texting, not looking where she was going, and went out into the street. We are too used to instant gratification that we are getting ourselves killed. We let the world go by without noticing the fine details of life, like the awesome queues and the interesting people at WDW.

With all due respect, there is a world of difference between "working with" and parenting. I don't want to get into a huge debate with anyone, but I am confused why it's considered ok for any armchair psychologists(not you specifically) to judge the parenting of others based on whether their kid happens to be playing angry birds in line for a few minutes whether living with a disability or not?

FWIW, that world that goes by, with the "awesome queues" and "interesting people" can sometimes be completely overstimulating and kids "like mine" need a sensory break from it. Maggie's mom- hugs, I get where you are coming from, because I live there too.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Can we please review what I originally responded to?

It started with:

If a child has difficulty standing in line and is causing an issue, they get to leave the line with a parent and not go on the ride. It only takes 1 or 2 times before they learn and do the right thing and the other child gets the lesson also. It's their choice to have fun or not. Life lessons...so much fun!

To which miami305 responded:

This should be standard response for every "What do I do with my child?" question. It covers everything.

To which I said:

Wow! I really wish I lived in your world where everything was so incredibly simple. In my world, there's a wide variety of children with varying needs. And what may work with one child may never work with another.

I wasn't saying parents shouldn't bother trying or that it's okay for kids to be constantly plugged into electronics. I was simply saying that imposing a consequence one or two times is not the answer to everything and it won't work for every kid.

But the responses shot back at me are:

Not if you're not even willing to try, of course. Also, in this wide, varying world, all children have to learn that all their needs are not going to be met instantaneously. Otherwise they grow up into selfish, useless adults.

So, in order to 'keep the peace' children are plugged into electronics and other forms of entertainment, instead of using their own brains, imagination, and creativity for 20 minutes. When do they ever learn to just cope with a 20 minute wait? If you can't handle 20 minutes at WDW, how do you handle 20 minutes anywhere else in life?

and

Oh, for the love of...

You're comparing apples and oranges. It is like someone saying "Walk inside to get out of the rain" and you're chiming in that "Some people can't walk."

One of the principle tenets of Behavioral Psychology is that our behavior changes based upon the consequence we receive for our actions. Rewarding a child (any child) for inappropriate behavior will encourage that behavior and INCREASE the likelihood of that behavior reoccurring in the future. An effective course of action rewards appropriate behavior and punishes (removes rewards) inappropriate behavior.

I wish you peace and healing. I was Behaviorist in my younger years. However, I should not have to state that fact in order to discuss bored kids in line at Disney. I know you're hurting. Prayers for strength. I'm sorry this discussion upset you. I hope you are able to find time for self care.

You seriously have training in behavioral psychology and you can't admit that there are issues that would prevent a child from learning a lesson after one or two consequences? I'm actually surprised you admitted your training since you really should have a better understanding of children and the variety of issues and needs that some of them face. Your answer was something I'd expect from someone with no experience in the field.

This isn't about me hurting. It's about a flip answer that was given that ignores reality. Nothing will work for every child in every situation. And I think it's detrimental to parents when they are told "all you need to do is xyz and after a couple times, everything will be hunky dory." Can't you admit that parenting is a bit more complex than that?

I've worked with special needs students for over a decade. I also know that the brain gets wired for certain functions at a very young age, and using electronics with short, stimulating segments does not encourage the brain to make longterm storage connections. Studies have shown inconclusive evidence linking ADHD, sensory issues, and behavioral issues to tv, computer and handheld games, but I have seen kids with the above issues play on their Nintendo DS for a half hour lunch period. Those same kids can't cope for 30 minutes in class. I have seen kids fiddle with technology for half a class, and get no substantial work done. Getting them to do a web page or powerpoint is torture - they want to play with the settings, but don't want to put in any research, planning, or content. These are the same kids that get so absorbed in their texting, games, and phone chat that they totally miss what is going on around them.

BTW, we had a local girl killed by a car because she was too busy texting, not looking where she was going, and went out into the street. We are too used to instant gratification that we are getting ourselves killed. We let the world go by without noticing the fine details of life, like the awesome queues and the interesting people at WDW.

And I'm really not even sure what this response had to do with anything I said? My very first response to this thread, back on page 1 or 2, was that we don't take anything with us electronic to use in the lines. We talk to one another. We talk to the people around us. One of my favorite things to do is talk to people from different parts of the world while at WDW. I always seem to strike up conversations with some of the nicests Brits. We did have a Magic 8 ball on our last trip that was fun to use. But if some parents will find their trip more enjoyable if they let their kid bring a DS along, then it so be it. You don't know that they allow their child to spend hours with their nose in front of an electronic device on a regular basis. And suddenly the kids are going to get killed by a car because their parents let them play on a DS while waiting in lines at WDW? Really?

 

[tinkerpea]

Can we please review what I originally responded to?

It started with:



To which miami305 responded:



To which I said:



I wasn't saying parents shouldn't bother trying or that it's okay for kids to be constantly plugged into electronics. I was simply saying that imposing a consequence one or two times is not the answer to everything and it won't work for every kid.

But the responses shot back at me are:



and





You seriously have training in behavioral psychology and you can't admit that there are issues that would prevent a child from learning a lesson after one or two consequences? I'm actually surprised you admitted your training since you really should have a better understanding of children and the variety of issues and needs that some of them face. Your answer was something I'd expect from someone with no experience in the field.

This isn't about me hurting. It's about a flip answer that was given that ignores reality. Nothing will work for every child in every situation. And I think it's detrimental to parents when they are told "all you need to do is xyz and after a couple times, everything will be hunky dory." Can't you admit that parenting is a bit more complex than that?



And I'm really not even sure what this response had to do with anything I said? My very first response to this thread, back on page 1 or 2, was that we don't take anything with us electronic to use in the lines. We talk to one another. We talk to the people around us. One of my favorite things to do is talk to people from different parts of the world while at WDW. I always seem to strike up conversations with some of the nicests Brits. We did have a Magic 8 ball on our last trip that was fun to use. But if some parents will find their trip more enjoyable if they let their kid bring a DS along, then it so be it. You don't know that they allow their child to spend hours with their nose in front of an electronic device on a regular basis. And suddenly the kids are going to get killed by a car because their parents let them play on a DS while waiting in lines at WDW? Really?

I have to say after following this i have to TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU i also have a child with multiple disabilities along with Twins that have non,some of the above qoutes really grate on me!
My Dh is RAF and a intel analyst who has gone through intense training in different fields to do with all sorts of behavior before he joined up he was doing child physiology and he doesnt pretend to know everything when it comes to our children he says what he learnt and being a parent is a totally different ball game!

we allow our son to take his DS when we are going to be doing something we know that will bore him to the point of showing naughty behavoir,we also allow our twins who have NO problems to use these...it by does not mean that they are on them all day in our home infact this is the complete opposite we use them more outside the house then IN, at home they are each allowed an hour a day if no other activity is going on,my child with the difficulties thinks that even after he has been on his game all day that he has only just got on and will have a major meltdown (we leant the hard way when we 1st bought the wii etc he would sit on it all day not move no eating etc if we had let him )
Im with the same mind front that what works for us may not work for you! and you should do what you need to for YOUR family.Its certainly not as simple as the child will learn after you take it away a few times!

 

[Schmeck]

Actually, I am a parent of two children, both with some disabilities (no IEP, although we could have gotten them) and I stand by what I have posted. Oldest daughter, with sensory issues, is a junior at MIT. We have been through quite a lot to be at that point. A lot of it had to do with keeping from relying on avoidance techniques. She learned to deal with her issues, even standing in line at WDW. I have asked her at WDW if she wanted to stay in line and deal, or get out of the line.

Behavior issues are all about communication - you've got to give the kids the tools to communicate what is going on. Sensory overload happens when the child can't feel the building stress of trying to process a lot of information.

Think of it as carrying around a bucket that we put our info, stress, and worries into. When it gets heavy, we stop, slow down, maybe empty some of it out, maybe shift it to the other hand. People with sensory/processing/social issues can't feel the bucket getting heavier. They don't feel it until the bucket is full, and the next thing they put in it spills out, and you have a shutdown, or a tantrum, meltdown, some kind of release for all that weight.

The trick is to get them to feel the weight of the bucket before it is full. It takes time, dedication, and some creativity. I remember my daughter having issues in 5th grade, with one teacher. He was very energetic, she fed off that energy, and he could see her bucket filling up, but didn't know what to do. I gave him our cue - tell her to "get off the escalator". That made her stop and think about what was getting her all worked up. She had a cue, and we had worked on skills to empty the bucket.

Now, a 3 yr old with sensory issues - vocabulary is limited, understanding is limited, but they know how they feel. If a few minutes in a stroller with a distraction helps the child to empty out the bucket, great. If the bucket isn't getting emptied though, then you are just using an avoidance technique, and the child is not learning how to process and let go. The bucket will still fill up, and you'll just get the meltdown later (unless the kid is on the electronics all day).

And yes, this is my opinion, but it is based on experience.